ConfusedByOxytocin Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Summary. She get butt hurt about a stupid joke, I sincerely apologize multiple times. She tells me she doesn't know what she is feeling for me, if it's love or not. Days pass by of not talking, we start talking and grab a couple of casual lunches, she almost loses her job. Comes over to my place to sleepover (no sex). I was resistant to do anything that night, even cuddling until she initiated everything. Even the kiss. But I was still passionate and accepted her. Did not push her away. Everything is fine, until one day after hanging out she sends me a text being sad, I naturally comfort her and tell her it's okay. She proceeds to tell me that she wants to be alone, she doesn't know what she wants, and wants to break off the contact with the whole world. I asked her if this is regarding us also, she said "Basically, yeah". "I don't see this working now". I did not reply. Just left it there. No need for me to beg and be a doormat anymore. I was always true with my emotions towards her. She did not say anything after. She started liking my IG pictures and Facebook stuff. I was cold and did not do anything. She commented on my picture in a group that we are both part of, I replied politely. Then I liked one of her "emo" pictures. That's it. I did not initiate any contact. I want to get back with her, but she has to prove her true colors. From what she did when she said she wants to go MIA, she was hanging out with a bunch of her male friends and stuff, posting pictures of her outdoor activities with a kid who is into same stuff as we are, but he is 17 and she is 19. I am 22. So this has showed me that she is a liar and just attention ***** pretty much. Seems like she is bipolar to me honestly. Week ago I get a text from her saying "I have a present for you" I made a mistake by replying next day asking what it is, she didn't clarify. I told her I will bring her stuff when we meet. That never happened since I got pissed off one day after finding something out (true or not, it pissed me off) and dropped off her stuff at her place and left. Couple of days later she started sending me means texts, insulting me, etc. Still hasn't returned the item I asked for back. Now she is posting all this relationship crap on FB how you gotta let people go, playing the victim.
Claire 1 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 You are in a difficult situation. I personally would leave her, but you know her better. If you can get to the bottom of her feelings then you might find out more and see her in a positive light. Sorry this probably not much help. 1
salparadise Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Assuming your description are accurate and that you're not employing selective memory to make yourself look righteous, then I'd say you've got a little drama queen on your hands. Telling you it's over and then leaving breadcrumbs as if she wants you to chase is childish. Taking her at her word, assuming she means what she says and letting her suffer the natural consequences of her actions is appropriate. Getting nasty because you didn't chase... time to block and go NC. 3
Author ConfusedByOxytocin Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 I don't really have to hide anything. I knew my wrongs with her and owned up to them. What she is doing now is just blatantly stupid IMO. I am just ignoring everything, she wants to make it seem like I left her and did not attempt to fix anything. The texts that she sent to me were about me dropping her belongings off at her house in a bag, how I should have handed it to her face to face. I found out something that pissed me off and dropped it off the same night since I did not want to really see her this soon and did not want to drag anything out. I think she is eating herself inside because I am not giving her any reaction that she expected from me. She is trying every possible way to get my attention by offering me a gift, being mean to me, posting pictures about how relationship should be. She never did it before. I am not contacting her at all, nor I have any intentions to do so. She broke up with me couple months ago, tried to make up through texting. I ignored it and then she finally showed up and apologized in person. I told her texting has no impact on me, so I have no idea what is her next move now. Female input would be appreciated. 1
Redhead14 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Summary. She get butt hurt about a stupid joke, I sincerely apologize multiple times. She tells me she doesn't know what she is feeling for me, if it's love or not. Days pass by of not talking, we start talking and grab a couple of casual lunches, she almost loses her job. Comes over to my place to sleepover (no sex). I was resistant to do anything that night, even cuddling until she initiated everything. Even the kiss. But I was still passionate and accepted her. Did not push her away. Everything is fine, until one day after hanging out she sends me a text being sad, I naturally comfort her and tell her it's okay. She proceeds to tell me that she wants to be alone, she doesn't know what she wants, and wants to break off the contact with the whole world. I asked her if this is regarding us also, she said "Basically, yeah". "I don't see this working now". I did not reply. Just left it there. No need for me to beg and be a doormat anymore. I was always true with my emotions towards her. She did not say anything after. She started liking my IG pictures and Facebook stuff. I was cold and did not do anything. She commented on my picture in a group that we are both part of, I replied politely. Then I liked one of her "emo" pictures. That's it. I did not initiate any contact. I want to get back with her, but she has to prove her true colors. From what she did when she said she wants to go MIA, she was hanging out with a bunch of her male friends and stuff, posting pictures of her outdoor activities with a kid who is into same stuff as we are, but he is 17 and she is 19. I am 22. So this has showed me that she is a liar and just attention ***** pretty much. Seems like she is bipolar to me honestly. Week ago I get a text from her saying "I have a present for you" I made a mistake by replying next day asking what it is, she didn't clarify. I told her I will bring her stuff when we meet. That never happened since I got pissed off one day after finding something out (true or not, it pissed me off) and dropped off her stuff at her place and left. Couple of days later she started sending me means texts, insulting me, etc. Still hasn't returned the item I asked for back. Now she is posting all this relationship crap on FB how you gotta let people go, playing the victim. but she has to prove her true colors. -- She already has . . . she's painted the picture for you in living color.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I don't really have to hide anything. I knew my wrongs with her and owned up to them. What she is doing now is just blatantly stupid IMO. I am just ignoring everything, she wants to make it seem like I left her and did not attempt to fix anything. The texts that she sent to me were about me dropping her belongings off at her house in a bag, how I should have handed it to her face to face. I found out something that pissed me off and dropped it off the same night since I did not want to really see her this soon and did not want to drag anything out. I think she is eating herself inside because I am not giving her any reaction that she expected from me. She is trying every possible way to get my attention by offering me a gift, being mean to me, posting pictures about how relationship should be. She never did it before. I am not contacting her at all, nor I have any intentions to do so. She broke up with me couple months ago, tried to make up through texting. I ignored it and then she finally showed up and apologized in person. I told her texting has no impact on me, so I have no idea what is her next move now. Female input would be appreciated. I am a woman. Here it is: She is still very immature. She likes attention. But she doesn't actually like you all that much. Forget her. There are plenty of more mature, stable girls out there deserving of your time. She showed you who she is. Now time to move on. 1
Author ConfusedByOxytocin Posted February 19, 2016 Author Posted February 19, 2016 I just can't give up on this for some reason. She seems to be out there having fun and stuff, totally opposite of what she said she would do. I think it's just her using it to cover the pain. But if not, oh well. It's hard for me to give up on this relationship, because I can't let people go that easy. I will just not talk to her at all. It will either bring us closer together for reconciliation or proper closure, or it will make us forget about each other.
elaine567 Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 OK, we need to know what the "stupid joke" was that turned her, almost immediately, off you completely.
Buddhist Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Well, to be honest your behaviour doesn't sound anymore mature or even keeled than hers. You jump from being totally consistent in your feelings for her to calling her bipolar, a liar and attention whore within 3 sentences. I wouldn't trust a single thing you say either. Good thing you're no contact now I don't think she needs your drama in her life. 1
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 She liked you, gave you a shot, spent some time with you, but found out she wasn't that into you romantically after all.....it happens. Stop saying there is something wrong with her....she was honest with you and told you straight up she wasn't feeling it. Most girls just ignore and fade. You can't win them all. Stop being sore about it, it will only make your bitter towards other prospects tainting any chance of having a GF. 1
GenuineAttraction Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 Her motives? Well, she's just not that into you. The best thing you can do right now is walk away and never look back. If she contacts you personally (not FB likes or comments) an ACTUAL message, assume she wants to see you and ask for a date immediately. The date must be at your house and you are cooking dinner. If she tries to change the plans or is wishy-washy. Say, "Sorry, that's really all I have time for, it was nice hearing from you. Keep in touch!" And then walk away and never look back. If she contacts you again, present the same date. If she is still wishy washy, give the same response. Then if she continues to contact you but won't do the date thing, stop asking for the date, because you are essentially only a friend or an emotional punching bag.
GenuineAttraction Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 She liked you, gave you a shot, spent some time with you, but found out she wasn't that into you romantically after all.....it happens. Stop saying there is something wrong with her....she was honest with you and told you straight up she wasn't feeling it. Most girls just ignore and fade. You can't win them all. Stop being sore about it, it will only make your bitter towards other prospects tainting any chance of having a GF. Absolutely correct.
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