candie13 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Red flag. Are you sure you are his gf and not his fwb? Romance flowers chocolate and The L word - how are you on those ? Commitment phobics will vanish on St v, birthdays, won't celebrate anniversaires & Will be out of reach for birthdays. You have been warned. Do The math like a big girl. Saying "I am sorry" is too easy. Way too easy. Also, you are creating précédent if you let him get away with it. Be extremely extremely careful ! 4
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Gaeta, you can at times be one the biggest ball-busters on LS... why are you making excuses for this guy acting like this on v-day? Thank you, I take it as a compliment. Sometimes I bust balls too quickly, I'm checking a few possibilities before hitting him in the crotch. 2
Redhead14 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 This is your first Valentine's Day with him. Lot's of guys just aren't into Valentine's Day. It's a hassle to them and feels forced. And, sometimes they just avoid it. I'm not saying it's not a dumb thing to do if you have a girlfriend but that's how they are sometimes. You kinda don't know how he's handled Valentine's days in the past either. I'm just saying try not to panic. If the other 364 days are good, don't dwell on this one day. If you think something else is up and want to try to ferret out, just say something like "I know you had your daughter on Valentine's Day. Did you guys do anything special? You must have had a good time because I didn't hear from you at all" If he avoids an answer or seems sketchy, there may be something else going on.
Zahara Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Red flag. Are you sure you are his gf and not his fwb? Romance flowers chocolate and The L word - how are you on those ? Commitment phobics will vanish on St v, birthdays, won't celebrate anniversaires & Will be out of reach for birthdays. You have been warned. Do The math like a big girl. Saying "I am sorry" is too easy. Way too easy. Also, you are creating précédent if you let him get away with it. Be extremely extremely careful ! I dated a guy like this. Consistent contact through the relationship when it came to our first V day, he disappeared and acted awkward and scarce on my birthday. I could tell he was having difficulty facing me knowing he had to express emotion. Even if you both weren't spending the day together, the least he could have done was respond to your text. It doesn't take but five seconds to send a text. It seems very odd since on other days he communicates, even when he's with his daughter. I'm not sure if will provide you with any other reason than an apology. You need to be careful moving forward.
candie13 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 After 11 months, did he say I love you ? Let's assume St V isn't s big thing - just one day our of 365. How's he behaving the other 364 ? Are you his gf? Met his friends & family ? Went on holiday or long weekends together ? Do you have plans in that direction? Indeed, one réaction at one thing one particular day doesnt paint him an accurate picture. So how's he The rest of the year? Any patterns in his MIA behaviour? 1
candie13 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I dated a guy like this. Consistent contact through the relationship when it came to our first V day, he disappeared and acted awkward and scarce on my birthday. I could tell he was having difficulty facing me knowing he had to express emotion. Even if you both weren't spending the day together, the least he could have done was respond to your text. It doesn't take but five seconds to send a text. It seems very odd since on other days he communicates, even when he's with his daughter. I'm not sure if will provide you with any other reason than an apology. You need to be careful moving forward.if our assumptions are correct, it's the exit door she needs to be contemplating, not the next move. 1
elaine567 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 This is not a guy just upset about the commercialization of V-day, or who doesn't want to participate in "soppiness", or someone who just forgot, or who is not in the least bit romantic... this is a guy who went deliberately MIA, AWOL, who didn't even reply to a text, and the OP has no clue where he was. Unless he is a person who loses whole days due to depression, drink or drugs, then my guess is he spent the "important" day with someone else, a SO who he could not get out of spending V-day with. My bet would be on the ex and they spent all day playing happy families... Sorry!
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 To me there is something fishy in being together for a full year, spend V day apart, not attend mom's birthday together, and child not coming along to mom's birthday. After a year we should be a unit and we do holidays, birthdays, and V day as a unit. If not, someone is not invested.
candie13 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I dated a guy like this. Consistent contact through the relationship when it came to our first V day, he disappeared and acted awkward and scarce on my birthday. I could tell he was having difficulty facing me knowing he had to express emotion. we've all had a dude like that, whatta pain. So what was your ex's problem, Zahara? How did you manage that?
Zahara Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) we've all had a dude like that, whatta pain. So what was your ex's problem, Zahara? How did you manage that? I actually spoke to him about how I felt the day after my birthday and he openly admitted that he couldn't fully commit to me. He disappeared on V day because of what it symbolized. Silly me accepted the "busy" excuse. Even the birthday card was worded awkwardly. The closest he got to the word "love" was "lots of love" when he signed off on the card. This was already a year into the relationship. He was very communicative. Very loving and attentive but there were times I saw cracks but as usual, I turned a blind eye because of the "good times". I think one can play the part very well, as long as expectations are at a minimum. He knew he couldn't run on shallow for very long because he knew I would expect more. That time came and I had to walk away. Edited February 16, 2016 by Zahara 1
ilovemefirst Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 My guy didnt wish me either, but it doesnt really bother me because he isnt a very romantic guy..but i do know how he feels about me, so i didnt let that bother me bc of a valentines wish. He apologized to you, so i doubt he was doing this intentionally to hurt you. He was busy. You should not let it bother you this much. This is how problems get started with a small fight and then turns into resentment.
Recommended Posts