ImaManDammit Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Ok, so I have this girlfriend. We've been dating for sometime and things for the most part are going pretty well. What I don't get is we are complete opposites. I had to be an adult at a very early age when my mom past away. I took care of my siblings. Didn't finish school to got to work. Don't drink, don't smoke, never did drugs, recreational or otherwise. Was a virgin until the age of 19, and even then it was a long relationship that took a few years to get to that point. Haven't dated much because of my responsibilities to my family and building my career. I have a very toned down appearance and tastes. No regrets. Then I meet her. She lived, what I considered, the typical life. Loving home. Dated lots of boys. Had her moment of drinking, smoking, partying. She went to college. Did a little recreational drug use, nothing major though. Lived on her own, lived with a few Bfs. Has had quite a few sexual partners. Some in a commited relationship some of them not. Doesn't really have a career goal in mind. Music, appearance everything I would never even consider acceptable for myself. I'm quiet and reserved, she's loud and in your face type person. Yet we clicked. I don't get it. How come we get along? I know they say opposites attract, but this is extreme. Am I missing something? Is the bottom going to fall out?
blind_otter Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Some might say yeah, I dunno - if it works for you, that's awesome. My padres are total opposites, they even come from different cultures - my mother is from the other side of the planet. They get along great, though, they are like the odd couple. My sisters and I laugh about it all the time. Tolerance for our differences is something too many people either ignore, neglect, or put too little value on. How about this: 1. If it hurts don't do it 2. If it works don't fix it k?
Marshbear Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 I would say that because you are sooo reserved that her lifestyle is appealing to you in some deep way. She is so not like you and that fact makes you not know what she is going to do or say. This can be very appealing in a romantic relationship. I would just go with it. Enjoy each other and she will take you places that you would not have gone by yourself. Peace...
westernxer Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit How come we get along? I know they say opposites attract, but this is extreme. Am I missing something? Is the bottom going to fall out? Maybe you're just one of the lucky ones. And maybe the bottom will fall out, or maybe it won't. You only know when you know. Have fun while you're at it.
alphamale Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit Yet we clicked. I don't get it. Don't even attempt to "get it" IMAMANDAMMIT....the chemistry between two people and why it does and does not exist is elusive at best. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, in other words.
whichwayisup Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 You each bring out the best in eachother... That is healthy and normal. It's OK to be opposites. Be happy and grow together.
scarlyjones Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Don't even attempt to "get it" IMAMANDAMMIT....the chemistry between two people and why it does and does not exist is elusive at best. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, in other words. Yeah,..dont kill it by over analyzing it. Thats great !! But, are you still in that first 3 to 6 month period where either of you can do no wrong and are on your best behavior? Or are you past that? For instance,....have you guys had a fight yet about ANYTHING?
Author ImaManDammit Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones Yeah,..dont kill it by over analyzing it. Thats great !! But, are you still in that first 3 to 6 month period where either of you can do no wrong and are on your best behavior? Or are you past that? For instance,....have you guys had a fight yet about ANYTHING? Well we're still relatively new, and oddly enough the only arguement we have had, and I wouldn't even call it an arguement, was about about sex. She has a much more open attitude towards sex than I do, and that's cause some discussion. Do you think maybe that I am jealous of her life, and by being with her makes me feel like I'm a making up for it? Though, I am really happy with who I am and I fear that if that's the reason that I will hurt both her and I.
blue16 Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by ImaManDammit Do you think maybe that I am jealous of her life, and by being with her makes me feel like I'm a making up for it? Who cares? It's working between you two why analyze it. I've gotten close with girls who were a lot different than me and it worked fine...there was no reason to examine how/why. It just happens.
scarlyjones Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 Who cares? It's working between you two why analyze it. I've gotten close with girls who were a lot different than me and it worked fine...there was no reason to examine how/why. It just happens. Yes,....good point. We can manifest flaw in anything if we analyze it long enough. If you are happy,....who gives a rats backside why. As long as you arent hurting others to achieve your happiness, why bother asking yourself "Am I happy for the right reasons,........" Maybe you're right,...maybe you're wrong,...but that doesnt matter. She likes you,..and you like her. You get along well and thats that. Dont be "Captain Kill-a-Relationship" This over-analyzing could ultimately turn into a turn-off for her. Just be happy
mental_traveller Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 You're not missing anything. Opposites can and do attract, and often work out very well in the long run.
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