Confused?????

[soulfly]

Hey everyone.

 

I have a problem.

 

My ex and I broke up recently. Well she broke up with me.

Here's the deal, she started dating someone else. I didn't want to end things, not my choice. But I'm an adult and handled it accordingly.

So a week or so after we split she calls me and texts me with things like:"I miss you, I can't stop thinking about you. I feel like im still in love with you, I am so confused"

I have told her how I feel about her and I wan't to work things out, all of my feelings out on the table.

 

So against my better judgement I go out with her for her birthday. She basically tells me that her heart is in two places, and that she is confused and doesn't know what to do.Crying, all the emotions. And that she needs time to figure it out. I am trying to be mature and not do the NC thing, but I can't stay just friends with her. Nor, can I sit on the sidelines waiting for her to figure it out. Not really fair to me.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Thanks

[ImaManDammit]

Walk away.

 

You don't need to be around and have your emotions played with while she makes up her mind about YOUR future?

 

My guess is she was feeling vulnerable and in a moment of vulnerability called out to you. Maybe some guy she liked turned her down and got her wondering if she made a mistake.

 

My apporach would be. "You letl me know when you've decided what you want, and maybe I'll still be available."

 

Life moves pretty fast, and if you wait around too long, you might miss it.

[lindya]

I am trying to be mature and not do the NC thing, but I can't stay just friends with her. Nor, can I sit on the sidelines waiting for her to figure it out. Not really fair to me.

 

Any suggestions?

 

Thanks

 

I'd be a bit wary about her motives; having you in the background might well be an effective method of keeping this new guy on his toes.

 

I hope you're not encouraging her to believe that her apparent self-absorption and muddled thinking is in any way endearing. Avoiding her whilst she's doing her dizzy and confused bit doesn't strike me as immature, and it would send a clear message that you're not going to hang around as an option whilst she explores the potential of this new relationship.

[Marshbear]

Originally posted by lindya

I'd be a bit wary about her motives; having you in the background might well be an effective method of keeping this new guy on his toes.

 

I hope you're not encouraging her to believe that her apparent self-absorption and muddled thinking is in any way endearing. Avoiding her whilst she's doing her dizzy and confused bit doesn't strike me as immature, and it would send a clear message that you're not going to hang around as an option whilst she explores the potential of this new relationship.

 

I agree Lindya. This is probably what she is doint, keeping you on the string either to let the ng think she has other options or trying to make you the back-up if the ng doesn't work out. Don't fall for it. Walk away. She does not have your best interests at heart.

 

Peace...

[BLF04]

i agree with the last 2 posts. She does want to keep you around for reasons... not good. i would say go NC for awhile, she knows how u feel. If she does eventually want to get back togther make her work for it like u wouldnt believe.