loveflower Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Ethics. Nothing to do wth ethnicity. oversight...
loveflower Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Both, but you don't seem to get it anyway. Doesn't matter bc I'm posting for OP's consideration, not to try to convince you not to cyber-stalk. Knock yourself out. okey, dokey...hope OP can consider your none-sense.
loveflower Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I think this a very interesting move. Romantic and scary at the same time. I'd say go ahead and email get! You only live once and you never know... Second that!
Spikiera Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Seriously OP, what do you have to lose for e-mailing her? If she thinks you are a creep and ignores you, so be it. Who cares? What if she is actually interested in you? Then she will respond and you guys can go from there. Enjoy life my friend.
joseb Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 There's an ethical level of access that ppl should have to others that's determined and limited by how well they know the other person, if the purpose of gathering the info is nothing more than personal/romantic. That has to be self-enforced tho since it's technically not illegal to gather and digest public info. I like your well though out argument, but I think it this case it's a bit ott to suggest that applies as he exchanged info with, spent time with, etc. I mean, compared to looking up a name in the phonebook, like we used to do years ago (anyone old enough?) it's not much different is it. For all we know, she is Dying for him to find her! If he had to crack passwords or similar to gain access to the info, then I'd agree it's not on. "not going to a public place that caters to ppl socializing, where you already met her once before legitimately, in the hope of bumping into her there again." it's a grey area- a friend of mine had a woman "bump into him" near his work - she knew where he worked, and hoped he would go to a cafe there - so is that stalking? (he felt it was, she turned out to be nuts!) he had another woman "bump into him" (i know, he seems to attract them!) right outside his house (she found out the info where he lived from a mutual acquaintance) To me this seems more stalkerish...that woman is now his wife!
Author spriggan2 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) lol well this thread got more attention than I intended so I'm a little embarrassed, but if you're looking for an update...I'm really sorry to disappoint but I did not send that email. I feel like if I was giving advice I would say go ahead and email what have you got to lose. I feel like I could have crafted a charming enough email. But when it came down to it I just decided that the email route was not socially acceptable, despite the fact that pretty much everyone cyberstalks, it's still publicly stigmatized I feel. She'd realize I figured out her (oddly spelled) name even though she only mentioned it once, and place of business, combined with my awkwardness and that I'm still kind of a stranger to her. She might be flattered and excited, but most likely uncomfortable as well. Also...having let time pass, as much as I would love to meet her, Im not feeling as desperate for it to happen as I was when I started the thread. I can live with letting fate sort it out. That being said, our city is mid-sized, but the downtown area where she works is very small as is the night life. I'm downtown all the time both day and night. I think within a year there's a good chance I'll run into her, but I'm not going out of my way. Finally...and this is very weird, on that same webpage where she's listed, I saw that one of her coworkers is the sister of this guy I met like 10 years back and talked to briefly due to the fact that we have the same first name (lol). A very unique name in the US. Back when I was in HS our families were not friends exactly, but like aware of each other. I see this coworker walking around like every once in a while so that gives me hope. I dunno. Gonna go back and rewatch that Seinfeld episode before making a final decision. Will post if there are any major developments. Edited February 25, 2016 by spriggan2
joseb Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Also...having let time pass, as much as I would love to meet her, Im not feeling as desperate for it to happen as I was when I started the thread. I can live with letting fate sort it out. That being said, our city is mid-sized, but the downtown area where she works is very small as is the night life. I'm downtown all the time both day and night. I think within a year there's a good chance I'll run into her, but I'm not going out of my way. Yeah if you are not in a major city you have a reasonable chance of bumping into her. So I guess fate will decide the outcome of this one You will probably meet her in 5 years and wonder why do I recognise this person...
Lois_Griffin Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 It's funny how people think spending a few minutes on google is creepy stalking behaviour, but hanging around doing real life stalking is fine?! Makes no sense to me Agreed. Since when is it 'stalking' to do a simple google search and find someone's contact info? Jeez, the drama. 1
loveflower Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Yeah if you are not in a major city you have a reasonable chance of bumping into her. So I guess fate will decide the outcome of this one You will probably meet her in 5 years and wonder why do I recognise this person... lol bravery is not something everyone has.
loveflower Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Seriously OP, what do you have to lose for e-mailing her? If she thinks you are a creep and ignores you, so be it. Who cares? What if she is actually interested in you? Then she will respond and you guys can go from there. Enjoy life my friend. yup...who cares! I am a female, even I don't care if I am being considered a creep! 1
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