Author spriggan2 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 Forgot to add that she does have a unique first name but with an odd spelling so it will come across that I tried different spellings before I got the right one. Alternatively her firm is a few blocks from one of my jobs downtown in a midsize city. The bar we met at was close by but it was at midnight during Mardi Gras and she said she'd only been there once before. I go there a lot and told her Saturdays at midnight were the best times to come. She wasn't there this Saturday though when I went with some friends and (without making it known to them) waited for the clock to strike twelve like Cinderella in case she showed up. She didnt. So I guess that's what prompted the search. But this is already becoming more complicated than it probably should be, maybe I'll just keep my eyes open for her. Hang around downtown more or something lol.
jen1447 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Jen1447, I did about 15 minutes of search combos but the one that actually worked was simply googling her name and the city we live in. The very first link is a page with her picture, a blurb about what she does for her firm and an email address. She told me she's new to the city so I assume it's current You googled her first name and your city and the first link was her firm? So Amy + Boca Raton or whatever resulted in this woman being the first result?
Author spriggan2 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) Yep, that was not my first effort (I tried her college and Facebook first) but that is the one that worked, primarily because she has a peculiar first name. But if you search first name and city, the first link is her. Edited February 16, 2016 by spriggan2
truth_seeker Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I don't think you searching for her is creepy as long as you don't show up at her house. I know women who Google the hell out of men they meet. I think it's only natural to do some harmless snooping to get more info on people.
Versacehottie Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Forgot to add that she does have a unique first name but with an odd spelling so it will come across that I tried different spellings before I got the right one. Alternatively her firm is a few blocks from one of my jobs downtown in a midsize city. The bar we met at was close by but it was at midnight during Mardi Gras and she said she'd only been there once before. I go there a lot and told her Saturdays at midnight were the best times to come. She wasn't there this Saturday though when I went with some friends and (without making it known to them) waited for the clock to strike twelve like Cinderella in case she showed up. She didnt. So I guess that's what prompted the search. But this is already becoming more complicated than it probably should be, maybe I'll just keep my eyes open for her. Hang around downtown more or something lol. Oh don't get discouraged. It sounds like you had a lot in common and a connection. How rare is that? Actually I think the fact that she has a unique name makes it look less "stalky". Because it would be a interested in her and easy thing. You can just pretend you are a spelling genius. I doubt she will ask about that part. here's the thing: if she is not interested, you probably won't hear from her, aka no humiliation. If she is interested, you will hear from her and she will be happy and flattered. Then just act cool: tell her she was worth tracking down. Be simple about it. if you become a couple, you can let her in on the real tracking down full story!!! And tell it at your wedding or engagement or something. I've thought some more about the cyberstalking part. It really goes one of two ways. She either is not that interested and will not like it OR is interested and will like it. If she is not that interested, you didn't really have a chance no matter how you got her number. If she is happy and interested, you win. In retrospect of saying I was on the fence, the situations where that has happened to me, kind of had a somewhat different context, which I won't go into but yeah ultimately I was not that interested or not interested so just found it invasive. It's really not tooooooo different from asking for the number in person--it presumes the other person would like to hear from you. Do your email with that level of confidence. good luck
preraph Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 The smarter the woman is, the redder the flag would be if a guy cyberstalked her and contacted her. And she's an attorney. Move on or go back to where you met or if you know anyone who knows her, do that, but I'd leave it alone unless you run into her again. Also, if you got that tongue-tied, that may be a sign you're not ready for her.
Captivating Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 GR4, I don't often brag about my looks but yes I've been called hot, handsome, cute, beautiful and I'm 6ft2 and fit. I dress decently and I had some killer cologne and she was leaning in very close when we spoke. Then again the music was quite loud so she had to do it. That being said, I don't want to do any weird stuff. My gut instinct is telling me that an email would be pretty pathetic after failing to get her number and just being quite awkward and nervous during our encounter. So I'm leaning towards letting it go. Only thing is I really thought we had a lot in common and I thought she was quite attractive. Been doing some online dating recently but she seemed so much more appealing than my latest dates. Such a shame to let her go as I don't know when I'll next find someone as seemingly compatible. I'm desperately hoping my criticism about an email like this is just my personal feeling, and maybe most people wont see it as creepy or pitiful as I do, but I'm guessing that's not the case. Sucks. Hey, How about sending her a bouquet of roses to work with a note : Hi Beautiful, You took my breath away a week ago in this ....club, got tongue tied under your spell and I knew that I would love to get to know you. I thought that it's my turn to take your breath away. Kate, please meet me at 11 am at this museum on Sunday. My cell:.... Spriggan
Captivating Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I would be flattered if someone made an effort to reach out to me. Most women would be, it makes them feel special. There is nothing to lose so please reach out! Preferably with a bouquet of flowers ( like I suggested above, not red flowers yet! , maybe yellow roses=for a beautiful lady) so that the gesture is romantic as well. A long time ago, the colors of flowers had meaning to them. I'm Hungarian, my grandma told me that men gave yellow flowers (roses) to beautiful ladies. So, maybe end your note on the flower with this question: P.S.: I wonder if you know the meaning of the color of these flowers ?? This shows that you are playful. In the note I suggested to put "I got tongue tied by you.." shows vulnerability, you are not cocky and it's also flattering. Telling her and not asking her where and when to meet shows confidence. I hope the best for you guys, let us know how things went !!!
joseb Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's interesting the divide on here, women seem to be either "yay, so romantic" or "you sick pervert stalker!!" I don't see how trying to contact someone is such a bad thing. In a way it would be less weird than sending a random message to someone on a dating site, at least the OP has met her Even trying to bump into her again, which everyone seems ok with, is kind of stalking too... 2
AMJ Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's interesting the divide on here, women seem to be either "yay, so romantic" or "you sick pervert stalker!!" I don't see how trying to contact someone is such a bad thing. In a way it would be less weird than sending a random message to someone on a dating site, at least the OP has met her Even trying to bump into her again, which everyone seems ok with, is kind of stalking too... I agree! Plus, she talked to him for the longest time when they met. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have carried on a conversation for that amount of time. 1
Lansing Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I am under the opinion of sending a quick note and just say "hey, good thing you have an unusual first name... I regretted not getting your number and decided to give googling your name and *** (i.e. your city name) together. Figured I would give this a shot so no regrets. Would love to show you around the city. I know this is your company e-mail so if you prefer texting/calling me number is .... " That type of thing. No need to mention you tried 5 ways to find her, multiple spellings of her name, etc. I have had a couple of situations where I regretted getting a girls number. One time I left a note on this girls car who lives in my building. She called me that morning and we went out for a bit. Another time there was a girl who was an alumni at my previous school and I found her e-mail in the student directory but she never responded. I felt much better after sending the e-mail though because I felt like I at least made an effort. I think this will help encourage you to actually ASK next time because you will remember this feeling of how it feels like to regret asking! Plus, since you said you are good looking and TALL I think you have a good chance of the girl thinking it is charming vs. creepy. 5
Versacehottie Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I am under the opinion of sending a quick note and just say "hey, good thing you have an unusual first name... I regretted not getting your number and decided to give googling your name and *** (i.e. your city name) together. Figured I would give this a shot so no regrets. Would love to show you around the city. I know this is your company e-mail so if you prefer texting/calling me number is .... " That type of thing. No need to mention you tried 5 ways to find her, multiple spellings of her name, etc. I have had a couple of situations where I regretted getting a girls number. One time I left a note on this girls car who lives in my building. She called me that morning and we went out for a bit. Another time there was a girl who was an alumni at my previous school and I found her e-mail in the student directory but she never responded. I felt much better after sending the e-mail though because I felt like I at least made an effort. I think this will help encourage you to actually ASK next time because you will remember this feeling of how it feels like to regret asking! Plus, since you said you are good looking and TALL I think you have a good chance of the girl thinking it is charming vs. creepy. That's perfectly confident way to phrase it and good reasoning too. No regrets. Good advice. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 The smarter the woman is, the redder the flag would be if a guy cyberstalked her and contacted her. And she's an attorney. Move on or go back to where you met or if you know anyone who knows her, do that, but I'd leave it alone unless you run into her again. Also, if you got that tongue-tied, that may be a sign you're not ready for her. Agree with the above. OP, I am one of the women who would find a random email from a guy I hardly know to be creepy. Something similar happened to me a couple years ago, though he contacted me through Facebook. I didn't feel comfortable with that approach at all and I did not accept his friend request. Go back to the bar where you met and hopefully you cross paths again. 1
veganpilot Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Don't do it. Move on. Once, a guy managed to stalk and salvage my email from a dating site. I freaked out and blocked him right away, I didn't have to see who is he, what he looks like and how he acts.
introverted1 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I say send the email. do nothing: no datesend email & she thinks it's weird: no datesend email and she's happy you found her: date (Plus, if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't have told you where she works. I definitely do not reveal this info to guys unless I feel comfortable with them.) 4
loveflower Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's interesting the divide on here, women seem to be either "yay, so romantic" or "you sick pervert stalker!!" I don't see how trying to contact someone is such a bad thing. In a way it would be less weird than sending a random message to someone on a dating site, at least the OP has met her Even trying to bump into her again, which everyone seems ok with, is kind of stalking too... The different reaction totally depends on the 'stalker'. If a handsome decent guy contact me, I am flattered and is a total go for me. If an ugly, old men contacted me, I am totally puked and totally hate being contacted. I had some creepy men contacted me out of the blue through some social media. I have never even talked to them. so, the question is not to contact or not, but who is the 'stalker'? so, according to OP's description of himself and his interaction with the girl I will say GO FOR IT!
loveflower Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 So I have this guy that I talked to once. He visited my social media profiles, but never friend requested me. Is he interested? and just afraid I think he is a stalker? Or he just curious after seeing me in some event? but not really interested? I hope is the first...so that I will just friend request him instead...
truth_seeker Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 So I have this guy that I talked to once. He visited my social media profiles, but never friend requested me. Is he interested? and just afraid I think he is a stalker? Or he just curious after seeing me in some event? but not really interested? I hope is the first...so that I will just friend request him instead... How do you know he visited your social media - FB profile?
truth_seeker Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 The different reaction totally depends on the 'stalker'. If a handsome decent guy contact me, I am flattered and is a total go for me. If an ugly, old men contacted me, I am totally puked and totally hate being contacted. I had some creepy men contacted me out of the blue through some social media. I have never even talked to them. so, the question is not to contact or not, but who is the 'stalker'? so, according to OP's description of himself and his interaction with the girl I will say GO FOR IT! It so comes down to attraction. Super hot guy does this, no problem whatsoever. Unnattractive, zero interest in the guy does this? He's a full-fledged creep. At one of my old jobs, this old guy hit on one of the girls there. She was grossed out by him, told the boss, the guy got fired. After things settled down at the office, she said: "If he were hot, that would have been different... but since it was Joe, ugh! I had to say something about it." That right there tells you a lot. 1
Alamo657 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Men can pretty much get away with anything short of being downright rude if she is already attracted to you, so go for it. This. If a woman is into you, the worst awkward blunders you can make will be "totally cute". If she's not into you, any attempt at getting closer will make you a creepy stalking weirdo. 4
loveflower Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 How do you know he visited your social media - FB profile? One is a niche social media. that shows exact who visited you and when. another one is FB - This I know through guess. because someone will show up on your 'people you may know list' if that person visit your profile. don't know exactly what are the reasons he checked me out though...can a guy be that shy?
AverageJoe1986 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Im 30. Met a girl at a bar. Was super awkward but could tell she was still into me. Talked for a while, finally developed comfort and began to vibe pretty well. Definitely attracted to her. End of the night came and I reapproached her to ask for her number, got completely toungue tied and just said weird things and didn't ask. Did not make the best first impression. Been kicking myself all week for screwing up. However today I decided to see what info I could dig up knowing only her first name and profession and alma matter. Found her work email (she's not on facebook). Wondering what she might think if I, pretty much a total stranger, reached out to her to express interest. Will have some explaining to do...but she's a lawyer, maybe she's versed in cyberstalking. Don't know if I'll get a positive response or not. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. How would you respond if you got an email out of the blue like this? Two words: Kobayashi Maru.
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 It's interesting the divide on here, women seem to be either "yay, so romantic" or "you sick pervert stalker!!" That's because their reaction is based on how attracted she is to you. If she is attracted, it's "romantic" if she's not, she'll label you a "stalker." 1
morrowrd Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Don't email her...she'll wonder how the hell you got it. Stalking is always a deal breaker, it isn't anything girls are impressed with. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say, you've struck out alot and this is the system you use when things don't go the way you want. Get rid of that system.
truth_seeker Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 One is a niche social media. that shows exact who visited you and when. another one is FB - This I know through guess. because someone will show up on your 'people you may know list' if that person visit your profile. don't know exactly what are the reasons he checked me out though...can a guy be that shy? I do know if you're logged into LinkedIn and view someone's profile, they will get a notification that you looked at their profile. I get emails telling me who is looking at my profile. I posted about the FB "people you may know list" before. I agree with you. This has to be the case as I would run into people I barely know and then days later they would show up on my FB list. Why else would they be there? He could be shy or just curious. If I'm interested in a woman, I'll take a look at her profile. Just to get an idea of her educational background, is she employed / has a good job, see if she's a party girl. Mainly looking for red flags.
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