Toodaloo Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Its been two weeks. I told you guys we see each other often. Why does it have to be a "date" to talk to one another? We could sit on a couch and get to know one another, why does it have to be subjected to the number of dates? But if you guys think the number helps we've been on 2. You need to talk more or she will lose interest. Be it phone, dates, text... doesn't matter. 2 dates, one a week is fine but you need to up the contact between...
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Its been two weeks. I told you guys we see each other often. Why does it have to be a "date" to talk to one another? We could sit on a couch and get to know one another, why does it have to be subjected to the number of dates? But if you guys think the number helps we've been on 2. OMG you're hard to understand !!! What we mean by 'date' we mean the number of times you see each other In REAL. As in Face to face, doesn't matter if it's a date out in town or just watching a movie home. Your earlier post you said you see each other often every 2-3 days NOW you say you've spent time together only twice?
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 SO lets do this again. On January 28th you were at a party and met a girl. She gave you her number. You saw her again on Friday February 5th You have not seen her in person since. You have not seen her in 11 days, why?
introverted1 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I think they work together and see each other casually after work 2-3 times a week. In addition they've had 2 formal dates. That's my read, at any rate. Hopefully OP will clarify. Add me to the group that thinks that contact should organically follow the relationship. Ad the relationship progresses, so should the amount of contact.
Author iDrumKing Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 OMG you're hard to understand !!! What we mean by 'date' we mean the number of times you see each other In REAL. As in Face to face, doesn't matter if it's a date out in town or just watching a movie home. Your earlier post you said you see each other often every 2-3 days NOW you say you've spent time together only twice? What?? I've stated multiple times that we see each other. No I'm not in an online relationship. No it's not long distance. I said that we see each other when we get off our jobs. I don't understand you're being so hostil with your posts. Tone it down a bit please.
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I don't understand you're being so hostil with your posts. Tone it down a bit please. I am sorry if I appeared hostile. Message received I am toning down. It's like pulling teeth to get a straight answer from you. We're on 4th page and it's still not clear if you've seen her only 2 times so far of if you have seen her a bunch of times like 2-3 times a week.
clia Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Its been two weeks. I told you guys we see each other often. Why does it have to be a "date" to talk to one another? We could sit on a couch and get to know one another, why does it have to be subjected to the number of dates? But if you guys think the number helps we've been on 2. I didn't mean anything formal with my use of the expression "date." I am honestly just trying to understand how often you've actually seen this girl in person via your own planning since you met her and I still have no clue. Can you add it up? It's only been two weeks, it shouldn't be that hard. You are saying two dates, but 2-3 times a week. Which is it? If you are seeing her every two days, then no, you don't need to be texting her much in between those dates.
fitnessfan365 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 A better way of looking at it OP is that anything can be a date in good company. So count up how many times you've seen her in person regardless of the activity and that's how many dates. Now if you really are seeing her in person 2-3x per week, you're talking enough at this point where you don't have to do that much texting. I think people are assuming you're only seeing her once per week. However, you're clearly spending more time with her than that in general. So a text every so often is perfectly fine and talking in person mostly is cool. Then if it gets more serious down the road, you start texting more.
ses Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 The best messages I've received always have come from my loved ones—family, friends and romantic interests. I can gauge my interest in someone by how quickly I respond, and the actual content of the text. The more serious and emotionally invested I am with someone the greater the desire to keep in constant communication. My significant other and I talk every day but we're primarily also a long-distance couple. If I consistently saw him once a week I wouldn't mind going a day without, but daily communication (+ video chats) are the glue to our relationship and intimacy. I suppose it's different for every couple: if you see your partner every other day, daily texts/calls might seem much; yet, if you see him/her once every two to six weeks, daily communication might be imperative.
Miss Peach Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 That's what he's doing when he's planning dates. I mean let's say a guy is planning regular dates with a woman. Yet she still questions his "interest" level because she isn't getting some generic one line text every day. Isn't that more of an indicator of her insecurity issues? As someone already said, it comes off like a backhanded way of her keeping tabs. My BF is like this. He plans dates and really only calls to plan a date. I'm definitely not an insecure woman but it did hurt my connection to him. Going a week to week and half for dates with no communication makes it feel almost like a first date again. It was really hard for me to get the connection I needed to take thing further. He was at that point much faster than I was. The lack of communication and only communicating to set up dates I feel hurt that on my side. He had to wait a bit longer for exclusivity and sex for me to get to where he was. And I agree with this too. As Gaeta said in earlier post, it is a mistake to go longer than 48 hours without touching base. In the very early stages, most women will simply lose the connection if they don't hear from a guy for 3+ days. No we are not fickle, feelings are fluid in these early stages, that's all. Again, not talking about a prolonged substantive conversation. Just a quick text letting her know you are thinking of her. That's it. Every third day would be enough for me and most women. It's giving her enough space to wonder about you and miss you, but not too long that she would lose the connection. Agreed. No it is not understood because she doesn't know you and to put it in plain English. If a guy isn't talking or communicating between dates I assume he just wants to get laid and can't be bothered to put the effort in. This. Players tend to follow this. There are exceptions but it comes off like the guy isn't wanting to get to know me. If my BF had f'ed up somewhere else and wasn't coming through as well as he did in other areas I would have made this assumption too and gone for a different guy.
Redhead14 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Its been two weeks. I told you guys we see each other often. Why does it have to be a "date" to talk to one another? We could sit on a couch and get to know one another, why does it have to be subjected to the number of dates? But if you guys think the number helps we've been on 2. Because expecting calls every single day after only two dates, means that the person is getting ahead of themselves/the scenario. They are expecting things to be the way it would be if they were at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage or married. 2 dates isn't boyfriend/girlfriend and if it's being viewed that way, it's an instant relationship and that's not healthy and will smother the potential for a real relationship to develop.
GemmaUK Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 You are a rare exception for a woman and communication. 90% of women will judge a man's interest on his consistancy with communication. Just look on here what women in general have to say about it. It's dangerous to advice a man to act aloof with a woman he is interesred in Just based upon the responses here it doesn't look like my viewpoint is rare at all.
guest569 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Whatever the details and time frame, it's ok to do what is comfortable for you, be yourself and gauge her interest level. My bf and i had daily contact since the first date which I found really refreshing, reassuring, knew he was interested. When I've dated guys that rarely contact me (say once a week) i assumed they were not very interested and maybe dating others in between. Are you very interested in her?? 1
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