Shining One Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 My boyfriend has to handle all the raw meat 'cause I get scared Scared? Of what exactly?
Shining One Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 One of the questions I've gotten several times when dating is whether I cook. No self-respecting modern woman want to enter into a relationship where she is automatically expected to do ALL the cooking and why should she?I had not thought about this before. I usually bring up the topic of cooking in conversation. I don't do it because I expect or even want her to cook for me. It's just something to talk about. Perhaps I should tread lightly on this subject if I find myself looking again. Do you find it a "turn off" when men bring up the topic of cooking?
Brontosaurus Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 In seven years of dating I never had a girlfriend so much as bake me a cookie let alone make dinner for me. Admittedly, I do know several women under 40 who really are great with pastries, but I actually don't personally know one who can make a dinner without relying heavily on processed foods. If they want a good dinner, they all just go out to a restaurant. Anyhow, my grandfather was a chef for forty years, and my mother had my brother and I (though never my sister) helping around the kitchen since we were five. I've never considered anything about making a quality dinner unmanly. One could also point out to your friends that most of the top chefs in the world are men, and if the stories are true they get plenty of action (the story that always comes to mind is the one in Kitchen Confidential about the chef who has sex with the bride at her own wedding party). ETA: IOW, men who can cook are considered sexy.
Wewon Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I just want to add that I don't think that this attitude stems from some kind of hatred of women but more of an impractical rigidity. Basically one that assumes that you don't require a life skill because it will automatically be filled by a significant other. That's why I'm curious about the age of the OP's friends. That being said, I think that one of the reasons that we're taken aback is because we're not used to hearing men unapologetically express an expectation. Any time a man does that there will be some flack inspite of the fact that a woman can demand specific things without any qualifiers such as expecting a man to deal with things like unplugging a toilet or dealing with some kind of vermin found in the house. 1
SSJROMANCE Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Sadly your buddies are pathetic - on some man ego trip or something. I cook ALL THE TIME not only meals but deserts, bread, you name it I probably have cooked it. I am also 325 pounds 6'4 a little over weight but I hold it well as I am also very muscular look like an NFL lineman and would make most of these egotistic men look small. I am also as handy (I guess to these guys "manly") as they come - I can fix about anything, hunt, fish, sew, keep a garden, build a shed, finish a basement - you name it I can probably do it. And while those pathetic egotistic men sit in their man caves watching every football and basketball I'm providing for my family. So being able to cook meals should not be looked at as a negative but a huge positive. 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 i think every body should know how to cook, man, woman, boy or girl...at least be able to make a meal for themselves if nuclear war were to happen and they were the only ones left at least they wouldnt starve or have to eat rice crackers forever with a can of baked beans......and no its not less manly to know how to prepare a meal and cook it and serve it......its sefl sufficiency and thats....sexy...like bear grills sexy..deb I agree, but I get a kick out how women in dating profiles that expect their future partner to cook and she *giggles* that she doesn't cook. That's a red flag there. 2
Toodaloo Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Oh no no no! Men cooking is sensual, sexy and very masculine. I don't do BBQ... I always make sure a man does it. I will prep everything up but in my eyes its a mans job to cook on a BBQ. If he can flip a steak as well as whip up pasta or some other culinary delight... he is going to have a very fun time later. Cooking can be very erotic and yes I like a man that can cook. Not essential as I am perfectly capable but very very desirable! SSJ's attitude is very sexy and masculine. Take heed from that... Your buddies should too if they have any sense. 1
Shining One Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I will prep everything up but in my eyes its a mans job to cook on a BBQ.Can you elaborate on this? What is it about cooking on a BBQ makes it a man's job?
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Can you elaborate on this? What is it about cooking on a BBQ makes it a man's job? It's that hunter/gatherer thing... manly, in charge, taking control, "It's ok, I got this, I'm good at cremating the outside while the inside remains disgustingly raw and bloody!" 1
GorillaTheater Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Can you elaborate on this? What is it about cooking on a BBQ makes it a man's job? Fire! And knives and MEAT! And fire! 6
FadedSign52 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I had not thought about this before. I usually bring up the topic of cooking in conversation. I don't do it because I expect or even want her to cook for me. It's just something to talk about. Perhaps I should tread lightly on this subject if I find myself looking again. Do you find it a "turn off" when men bring up the topic of cooking? I'm a guy So no. I tend to date liberal women so perhaps that has something to do with it also - they are probably less "traditional"/old fashioned.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Fire! And knives and MEAT! And fire! UGH! Man has spoken! 4
MissBee Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) Alot of my buddies say they would never cook for their girlfriend or wife because its to girly and makes them look pathetic Are they the ones who are pathetic? They will grill out but as far as making spaghetti or anything like that they refuse to i mean they are wrong right? Yes they are pathetic and ridiculous and wrapped in absurd and archaic gender roles too rigidly. So adult males expect to go from mommy to woman? I mean if a man lives alone he can only grill and never make a meal for himself or anyone else? If he is married, he can never cook for his wife or children? A man can also never be a professional chef....wait a minute.... Yea absurd and I personally wouldn't be involved with a man who thought that. I am always far more impressed by a man who knows his way around the kitchen than one who doesn't. I won't reject a man because he can't cook (unless his reasons are the ridiculous reasons stated here) but one who can definitely has an edge. One boyfriend, on our second date we had a "picnic" in his new house and he made me sushi. I had never seen anyone make sushi at home and was thoroughly impressed by his knife skills, rolling skills, everything! That sealed the deal Edited February 17, 2016 by MissBee
Tayla Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Silly to categorize skills that most adults when given directions can achieve. This ranges from plumbing, car repair, to cooking. Its equally insulting to have a female say she cannot or will not cut the grass or repair the lawn mower. Sure skills can be learned, learn them and stop using gender as a reasoning, unless its about birthing a baby, it which case, Guys you are off the hook for having to do that deed. 3
2.50 a gallon Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 m7887 Most of my adult life has been lived as a single. It was either learn to cook for myself or starve. With the passage of time I did learn to cook quite well and that was a part of the reason I had such a great bachelorhood. When I caught and broke up with my cheating wife, I was devastated. Part of the healing process was my teaching myself how to cook several gourmet meals. My thinking it would be a skill I could use once I got back into the dating scene. It was a great success. For myself, for me to be interested in her, she must be sexually attractive. we are talking at least an eight. Which in turn means, that in many cases she probably has another boy friend or two. However, once she had sampled my cooking, dates were easy. So while the other guy was putting out big bucks for a dinner and a movie, I was getting the same action by merely cooking her a meal. And once I got a gal in bed I did my utmost to keep her there. Which in turn meant breakfast in bed. Many of them raved over my quiche. Also, that first Christmas, after the breakup I discovered the power of baking cut out Christmas cookies and turned to baking them at Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Valentines day. I estimate that over the next 14 years I had at least two dozen different women spend the night after a night of cookie baking.
DivorcedDad123 Posted February 18, 2016 Posted February 18, 2016 I'm screwed! Not only do I cook,I do laundry,dishes,vacuum,mop, and clean my own toilets...
Els Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Do your buddies actually HAVE women in their lives (aside from their mother)? I can't imagine that any decent person would put up with someone who says "I'll never cook because it's YOUR job!" Couples can and do divide the chores in various ways, so in some couples I'm sure the woman ends up doing most of the cooking while the guy does most of the trash, toilets, etc. But that's an entirely different kettle of fish from the "I'd never!!" attitude. The former is cooperation based on individual strengths/weaknesses, the latter is a petulant tantrum.
Ferret Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 They are def wrong! I love it when my bf cooks for me hes amazing at it and it shows he cares enough to take that responsibility off my hands once in a while to me that's sexy!...it sounds like your friends are all very young guys who are buying into a stereotypical crapola mind set..
Shining One Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 It's that hunter/gatherer thing... manly, in charge, taking control, "It's ok, I got this, I'm good at cremating the outside while the inside remains disgustingly raw and bloody!" Fire! And knives and MEAT! And fire!I hope I'm not the only one seeing the irony. To me, both of these statements are equally invalid: Cooking (in the kitchen) is a woman's job.Cooking on the grill is a man's job.For the record, I do most of the grilling at my house. I grill with wood and many people aren't experienced with that.
MidwestUSA Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 My husband does ALL the cooking, indoors and out, right down to baking the best chocolate chip cookies. I would much rather be cutting grass, spreading mulch, picking up dog poop, and cleaning gutters. 2
Ms. Faust Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Alot of my buddies say they would never cook for their girlfriend or wife because its to girly and makes them look pathetic Are they the ones who are pathetic? They will grill out but as far as making spaghetti or anything like that they refuse to i mean they are wrong right? I think the male celebrity chefs who are making millions off of their cooking and recipes would strongly disagree.
katiegrl Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 As a matter of fact, I am thinking of putting a man being a good cook on my list of "must haves"! 1
2.50 a gallon Posted February 22, 2016 Posted February 22, 2016 (edited) s to do with my cooking. What happened to the rest of my post? Edited February 22, 2016 by 2.50 a gallon
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