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Can't guys just say a few kind words?


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Posted

Guy I've been dating dumped me last weekend. We got along well, sex was good, never really fought, so it was out of blue. He has job / financial problems, so I somewhat expect thing this attributed to his mood swings, etc.

 

Frustrating is that he couldn't give me a real reason for the break-up. He just kept saying he didn't think this would work, etc.

 

Here's my question: I just wanted a few words of kindness at the end. "Listen, you're great. I think you x, y, z....." Instead, he could say one damn thing. why can't the throw you a bone?

  • Like 1
Posted

Probably because him paying you compliments and then dumping you would make little sense? I don't mean he should have insulted you instead, but I'm not going to tell a woman I'm about to breakup with 'you were gorgeous, intelligent, funny' but thank you good bye.

Posted
Guy I've been dating dumped me last weekend. We got along well, sex was good, never really fought, so it was out of blue. He has job / financial problems, so I somewhat expect thing this attributed to his mood swings, etc.

 

Frustrating is that he couldn't give me a real reason for the break-up. He just kept saying he didn't think this would work, etc.

 

Here's my question: I just wanted a few words of kindness at the end. "Listen, you're great. I think you x, y, z....." Instead, he could say one damn thing. why can't the throw you a bone?

Why throw you a bone?

He might think that leaves open the option of reconciliation.

Bu being blunt, he's shutting the door.

Yeah, not the way I would handle it for sure, but each to their own.

  • Like 1
Posted

Yeah, some women would hang onto the kind words thinking it meant he'd be back. Don't go making guys tell you what the issue is. It's just their preferences, just like you have preferences. It isn't a universal truth about you or anything, just one man's preferences. The next may love you just like you are.

Posted
Guy I've been dating dumped me last weekend. We got along well, sex was good, never really fought, so it was out of blue. He has job / financial problems, so I somewhat expect thing this attributed to his mood swings, etc.

 

Frustrating is that he couldn't give me a real reason for the break-up. He just kept saying he didn't think this would work, etc.

 

Here's my question: I just wanted a few words of kindness at the end. "Listen, you're great. I think you x, y, z....." Instead, he could say one damn thing. why can't the throw you a bone?

 

Sorry this happened to you. I guess his internal issues have got something to do with not being able to verbalise how he feels. Sometimes a person can get so low that they can barely function, let alone communicate.

Posted (edited)
Guy I've been dating dumped me last weekend. We got along well, sex was good, never really fought, so it was out of blue. He has job / financial problems, so I somewhat expect thing this attributed to his mood swings, etc.

 

Frustrating is that he couldn't give me a real reason for the break-up. He just kept saying he didn't think this would work, etc.

 

Here's my question: I just wanted a few words of kindness at the end. "Listen, you're great. I think you x, y, z....." Instead, he could say one damn thing. why can't the throw you a bone?

 

Kindness is in short supply these days. It's sad that people are more afraid to be nice to someone than to be mean to them. Ask yourself why that is? Hint: they are thinking of themselves more than you.

 

It's not too much to ask to be kind and compassionate to someone when you reject or dump them. Some people are nicer to door-to-door salesmen.

 

Sorry this happened to you.

Edited by Popsicle
Posted

No matter what . . . ending a relationship hurts.

 

 

If he "threw you a bone" it kind of would have been a mixed message. There is the idea that it's cruel to be kind.

 

 

I doubt he meant to intentional hurt you even more then you were hurt by the BU. Nobody is ever really good at breaking up with somebody.

 

 

Hang in there.

Posted
Guy I've been dating dumped me last weekend. We got along well, sex was good, never really fought, so it was out of blue. He has job / financial problems, so I somewhat expect thing this attributed to his mood swings, etc.

 

Frustrating is that he couldn't give me a real reason for the break-up. He just kept saying he didn't think this would work, etc.

 

Here's my question: I just wanted a few words of kindness at the end. "Listen, you're great. I think you x, y, z....." Instead, he could say one damn thing. why can't the throw you a bone?

 

Try not to place importance on words, but rather actions. Otherwise, you'll be driven crazy.

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