Indicator23 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 More than a year ago, I met this girl on a forum. We started talking on a daily basis. I used to be this shy guy, who people adored but despite that I didn't have any close friends because I just wasn't social enough. I prefered staying home rather than going out with friends. I had been shy my whole life. I never had the guts to even talk to a girl. So back to this girl.. She initiated contact with me like 95% of the times and you could tell she was really into me. A couple of weeks after we started talking she also admitted that she had feelings for me. At that point I was very happy, because I did also have feelings for her. We talked about it and decided that we should be exclusive, basically that we're in a relationship. I know that it was stupid. We hadn't even met. We had to wait more than a year before we could meet. At that point I was 16 and she was 15. I was about to turn 17 but my parents wouldn't let me travel on my own before I was 18. However this wasn't a problem, she was willing to wait. When she entered my life, I started caring a lot about the way I look. I started getting a haircut every month, buying expensive clothes, working out and even tanning (lol). Anyway, I rarely texted people before I started talking to her. But now I had this girl who I would text with during the day and every night before I'd go to sleep. We texted like this for around a year. Can you imagine? We would talk about everything, and became really close to each other. We were both very excited about meeting each other. But a week ago, she told me that she had lost interest. Well, not only that, she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. We broke up, and we haven't spoken ever since that. I'm not gonna lie, I actually saw it coming. We hadn't been talking like we used to do the last few weeks. I can't blame her, we had been camming and speaking on the phone for a year but it gets boring after a while. Deep inside I knew that our so called relationship would never work out. Mainly because of the distance but also because we're so young. It's too early to settle with somebody. But what really hurts, and bothers me, is that we never met. We were just months away from meeting. I've never had a girlfriend so I was looking forward to spend my time with someone I really love. What sucks is that after talking with her for a year, I will never find out what it would be like if we would have met IRL. I know that there's a high risk that we would meet and things just wouldn't feel right, but I still wanted to find out if she was right for me. I feel lonely. She was always there and we would talk throughout the day. But now I don't have anyone I'm close with. I'm not worried that I won't find anyone. I'm honestly good-looking and have a good personality so it's not that. But I'm worried that I might not find someone like her. She was really mature and special, even if she had some flaws as well. But I gotta say, she did have a good impact on my life. I'm not that shy anymore and I get a lot of female attention, which never happened before I met her. I'm looking for any advice or feedback... thanks in advance.
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 You are young & this felt real. You risked. You got a glimpse of love. Going forward be a little more circumspect about who you place your trust in. Try to invest it in people who deserve it and who are physically present in your life. A relationship over the computer is not all that real so be very careful. Take the things you learned and apply them to a real girl who goes to your school or who lives near you. In no time you will fill the void left by your internet friend's departure.
coolheadal Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Nice story, but you should finally meet her in person to see how things would develop. Now she's out of your life for good. But in all this LDR was a good learning experience for you. If you should do it again you will know the warning signs and not let it get out of hand. The texting each day all throughout the day is a lot different than in person most people don't text so much. I know I am not much of text person I usually let the phone do the typing for me. I just hope it made sense though? LOL LDR world is a different type of world you win and loose some. A few of us get real lucky and can have a normal life. But in all it takes two to make it right and work. Sure you will find someone who appreciates you for being you. Good Luck!
Author Indicator23 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 Thanks for your responses. It was a very good learning experience for me and will surely help me out IRL. But as I said, what hurts the most is that after I've planned so much and been excited about meeting her, it won't happen. I'll never find out what it would've been like to be with her. I guess time will heal everything.
Day Dreaming Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 you've had a great positive experience and it sounds like it has helped you develop confidence too. You are both young and it naturally fizzled out - probably due to the distance. Hopefully you can move on and will find someone in real life you can feel as close to, and this online girl will become a happy memory. Get out there and meet girls who are closer to home
Zippy2000 Posted March 17, 2016 Posted March 17, 2016 Sorry to hear about your loss. I know its hard for you an a year is along time. That said it reminds me of an online relationship I had many years ago. I never met her and she is still on my Facebook but people do eventually drift apart. One of the reasons i found was if you re never around or you dont eventually meet. People will sooner or later doubt or question the relationship as they dont see where its going. You needed to have "gaols" in your relationship. For example have a set date where you would meet. If its long distance like 1 a month or depending how far you live once every six months. Anyone can write a letter, send a text or call but without being physically there its tough and it becomes a challenge. I d lose interst too as Id ask where all this would be going in the end.
Author Indicator23 Posted April 28, 2016 Author Posted April 28, 2016 Thanks for your kind responses. I agree with everything you said above. Looking back at it, I feel kinda pathetic for having a so called "relationship" with someone I've never met. I still think of her every day for some reason, but it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did before and I don't miss her anymore. I feel good. I just find it a bit weird that I still think of her every day. We talked every single day for a year, perhaps that's why.
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