Valentines day dissapointment

[Tuutuu22]

This is our second valentines day together. I'm not a very hard person to please. The little things mean a lot to me. Any ways he is working from 3-9 today so yesterday he took us out. i got in the car and he said instead of buying you flowers and stuff you're just going to throw out I'm taking you to the mall and you can pick out what you want. I got him a hat and a shirt. He told me he wanted to start getting me a ring every valentines day (last year he got me a pandora one). So we went to pandora and he told me to pick one out. They were all $90. I didn't want him spending that much so we left. He was telling me to just get it but I didn't want him to do that. We went out to dinner and had a lot of fun. But i have the idea of him getting me a ring for valentines day every year stuck in my head now and for some reason I'm very let down. Other girls get a lot more or their boyfriends are spontaneous. We ran into his aunt at the mall and her son (my boyfriends cousin) took his girlfriend on a helicopter ride. Which i would've loved. I don't ever ask for much, i just go out of my way with gifts form . I originally planned on just getting him chocolates. But here I am.. the girl with no present on valentines day and i bought him a present. He makes good money and spends it on himself often. I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish. Am i wrong for being let down by all of this? I feel like i sound like a brat.

[ASG]

You do, because he wanted you to choose a ring from Pandora and you refused.

A helicopter tide costs much more than 90 dollars...

[MidwestUSA]

You didn't want him to send $90, but you're jealous of those who got helicopter rides?

 

Why didn't you just pick out a ring? You have 'no gift' by your own choice.

 

Yes, you're a spoiled brat. Maybe he doesn't think a hat and shirt is all that either.

[smackie9]

You are a brat. You have contradicted yourself several times in your post. Look most men are not these big romantics where they plan and surprise you. Most, just like my husband, and my friend's fiance would rather have the gift picked out so they know you will enjoy it. he is who he is, and you picked him to be your BF.

[Blanco]

"I don't ask for much. I would just like the little things, like helicopter rides."

[Tuutuu22]

I didn't say I wanted a helicopter ride but any girl would agree thats ****ing awesome. I said I like spontaneity.

[Redhead14]

This is our second valentines day together. I'm not a very hard person to please. The little things mean a lot to me. Any ways he is working from 3-9 today so yesterday he took us out. i got in the car and he said instead of buying you flowers and stuff you're just going to throw out I'm taking you to the mall and you can pick out what you want. I got him a hat and a shirt. He told me he wanted to start getting me a ring every valentines day (last year he got me a pandora one). So we went to pandora and he told me to pick one out. They were all $90. I didn't want him spending that much so we left. He was telling me to just get it but I didn't want him to do that. We went out to dinner and had a lot of fun. But i have the idea of him getting me a ring for valentines day every year stuck in my head now and for some reason I'm very let down. Other girls get a lot more or their boyfriends are spontaneous. We ran into his aunt at the mall and her son (my boyfriends cousin) took his girlfriend on a helicopter ride. Which i would've loved. I don't ever ask for much, i just go out of my way with gifts form . I originally planned on just getting him chocolates. But here I am.. the girl with no present on valentines day and i bought him a present. He makes good money and spends it on himself often. I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish. Am i wrong for being let down by all of this? I feel like i sound like a brat.

 

Like it or not, most guys just don't get the whole Valentine's Day thing. Sure, some do because somewhere a long the line, a woman told him it was important to her, so he steps up. Some guys just are more romantic, it's how they are. It sounds like he was thinking about you anyway and in his way, he was trying to do something nice for you. He offered to buy you another ring. He got you one before so he knows how much it costs, but you declined because of the price. Guys aren't crazy about going to the mall, he made that effort.

 

If he's giving you gifts throughout the year, what difference does it make. One day negates the other 364 days when he's been there for you?

 

At some point, just have a conversation about how you feel about birthdays, holidays in general. Don't say "you didn't do much for me on Valentine's Day". Just say, I love special days and holidays. It's something to look forward to sometimes". And, just see how he feels about that stuff.

 

Personally, I don't want perfunctory expressions of love once a year. I want genuine, spontaneous expressions on a regular basis and if there's an extra bonus on Valentine's Day, I'll take it But, I don't fret over it or pressure. If it happens, it happens. My SO knows my feelings about Valentine's Day. He takes me to dinner, will call me in the morning and say Happy Valentine's Day but he doesn't always go big with it. It depends on what's going on around that day too. But, overall, he shows me he loves me on a regular basis with little things all the time and I let him know I appreciate what he does for me.

[MidwestUSA]

Are you 18 or 19 now?

 

Whatever, I hope you've decided to go away to school. This isn't going to be your only/last relationship. Being on your own may teach you what's important in life. Or not.

 

Good luck.

[TigerCub]

You screwed yourself out of the gift.

You bf sounds so sweet to actually want to start a tradition by getting you a ring every Valentines, what more do you want?

And you're the one that refused the ring because you didn't want him spending $90 - but you'd be ok if he spent more on a helicopter thing?

 

Even if you thought the helicopter thing would be nice, you could have mentioned that to your bf, and he might have kept that in mind and surprised you with it some other time. Or you coulda set somthing like that up for your anniversary.

 

Sucks that you feel so disappointed but facts are:

He took you out to dinner and offered to get you a nice ring and you turned the ring down.

[MidwestUSA]

I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish.

 

Sounds spontaneous to me.

 

As for selfish, is he earning his own money? Then that's his right.

 

Who is supporting you?

[Space Ritual]

This is our second valentines day together. I'm not a very hard person to please. The little things mean a lot to me. Any ways he is working from 3-9 today so yesterday he took us out. i got in the car and he said instead of buying you flowers and stuff you're just going to throw out I'm taking you to the mall and you can pick out what you want. I got him a hat and a shirt. He told me he wanted to start getting me a ring every valentines day (last year he got me a pandora one). So we went to pandora and he told me to pick one out. They were all $90. I didn't want him spending that much so we left. He was telling me to just get it but I didn't want him to do that. We went out to dinner and had a lot of fun. But i have the idea of him getting me a ring for valentines day every year stuck in my head now and for some reason I'm very let down. Other girls get a lot more or their boyfriends are spontaneous. We ran into his aunt at the mall and her son (my boyfriends cousin) took his girlfriend on a helicopter ride. Which i would've loved. I don't ever ask for much, i just go out of my way with gifts form . I originally planned on just getting him chocolates. But here I am.. the girl with no present on valentines day and i bought him a present. He makes good money and spends it on himself often. I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish. Am i wrong for being let down by all of this? I feel like i sound like a brat.

 

 

If you don't expect much you will never be disappointed.

 

It sucks to have to learn that lesson but I have a lot of experience in that.

 

 

It is Ironic because Today is my Fifty First Birthday. I always hated having a Valentines day birthday because I learned from an early age that there were always more important things to my friends and family than my Birthday. I did not exactly grow up in a real nurturing environment but I learned not to anticipate it at all as they were so worried about what someone else was going to do for them for Valentine's Day that I realized that as long as I never expected much I would not feel bad about it. And it still rings true today for me.

 

When people have a lot of expectations about the connotation of a certain day they are bound to be disappointed.

[MidwestUSA]

Happy #51, Space!

 

I feel you, I was born close to Christmas. We all know how that goes.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yep, you're being a brat.

 

He tried to get you a gift he thought you would actually like. And you refused that.

 

Try to show a little gratitude, OP. Sheesh.

[smackie9]

Happy #51, Space!

 

I feel you, I was born close to Christmas. We all know how that goes.

Hah lucky me mine lands on Good Friday this year....gonna get ****tered on the Thursday night!

 

Have a good one Space......it's true you do get better with age....just a little slower at it lol.

[health]

This is our second valentines day together. I'm not a very hard person to please. The little things mean a lot to me. Any ways he is working from 3-9 today so yesterday he took us out. i got in the car and he said instead of buying you flowers and stuff you're just going to throw out I'm taking you to the mall and you can pick out what you want. I got him a hat and a shirt. He told me he wanted to start getting me a ring every valentines day (last year he got me a pandora one). So we went to pandora and he told me to pick one out. They were all $90. I didn't want him spending that much so we left. He was telling me to just get it but I didn't want him to do that. We went out to dinner and had a lot of fun. But i have the idea of him getting me a ring for valentines day every year stuck in my head now and for some reason I'm very let down. Other girls get a lot more or their boyfriends are spontaneous. We ran into his aunt at the mall and her son (my boyfriends cousin) took his girlfriend on a helicopter ride. Which i would've loved. I don't ever ask for much, i just go out of my way with gifts form . I originally planned on just getting him chocolates. But here I am.. the girl with no present on valentines day and i bought him a present. He makes good money and spends it on himself often. I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish. Am i wrong for being let down by all of this? I feel like i sound like a brat.

 

Him getting you a ring every valentine's day sounds so blah. That's why you probably feel down about it. It's so monotonous. This whole thing kinda sounds lifeless to me - including that helicopter ride. I just feel he should give you something from his heart with more meaning. Something passionate. All these things to get and buy scream of materialism. Hey it's cool, but it could be empty as well.

I hope he does something to make you feel great.

[katiegrl]

OP...can you explain why exactly you feel "let down" and "the girlfriend left with no gift," when YOU were the one who said no to his gift?

 

That gift being the Pandora ring? Which by the way is a beautiful gift, not to mention his idea of giving you a ring every year for V- Day nearly brought tears to my eyes -- what a beautiful and sentimental gesture!

 

Having a ring every year to honor all the years you spend together. So sweet!

 

Any other woman would have loved that! Even the girl who got the helicopter ride.

 

What were you thinking when you turned down the ring? I'm not getting that, can you explain your thought process?

[Buddhist]

So we went to pandora and he told me to pick one out. They were all $90. I didn't want him spending that much so we left. He was telling me to just get it but I didn't want him to do that.

 

So you refused the gift he wanted to give you, for what reason? So you could feel disappointed?

 

Other girls get a lot more or their boyfriends are spontaneous.

Your boyfriend tried to give you something and you didn't appreciate it and refused it. That's your fault not his.

 

But here I am.. the girl with no present on valentines day and i bought him a present. He makes good money and spends it on himself often. I'm not saying he doesn't buy me beautiful gifts on other occasions but he can be selfish. Am i wrong for being let down by all of this? I feel like i sound like a brat.

 

You have no present because you refused it. It's not his fault but yours. What part of this concept do you not understand? It seems to me that yes you are being a brat, you pushed away the sentiment he wanted to give then visited LS to complain about it. Perhaps you should try appreciating the boyfriend you have and accepting his expression of affection. I'm pretty sure he's not at all happy that you don't seem to appreciate him and are pining for something else. It must seem incredibly ungrateful and manipulative to him.

 

And he took you out to dinner. Just how much $$ do you think he should spend?

[Buddhist]

I didn't say I wanted a helicopter ride but any girl would agree thats ****ing awesome. I said I like spontaneity.

 

Well I'm female and would hate a helicopter ride and would love a Pandora ring. :roll eyes: Who the hell cares about sitting in a chopper for 15mins....

[katiegrl]

Well I'm female and would hate a helicopter ride and would love a Pandora ring. :roll eyes: Who the hell cares about sitting in a chopper for 15mins....

 

I agree! Probably would have made me sick as well...literally!

 

Have you ever been in a helicopter or very small plane?

 

Ugh, it takes getting used to, and please don't eat anything greasy before flying, or anything at all for that matter.

 

Unless you have a very strong stomach!

[joseb]

I can just imagine the post if he had gotten the helicopter ride.....

 

My boyfriend got me a stupid helicopter ride for Valentine's day. It only lasted 15 minutes and I felt sick the whole time. Why couldn't he gave gotten me something nice, like a ring or something....

[GR4]

Boy offers to buy girl present. Girl refuses offer of present. Girl moans about not getting a present.

 

You couldn't make this stuff up could you!

 

I really don't understand your thought process here to be honest. You turned down the ring based on its price, right? Yet you say you would have loved a helicopter ride. Do you realise how expensive even a short helicopter ride is?

If he had offered you a helicopter ride would you have turned it down based on price? No, I didn't think you would.

 

Am I the only one who thinks that maybe you turned down his offer of a gift so you could play the victim and have a little whinge on Valentine's Day?

[thecrucible]

If you had a lot of fun otherwise, why worry about a gift? And if he wanted to buy you that ring, you should have let him as that would make him feel good too. Also spontaneity isn't as important as you think. As Smackie said, I also agree that most men aren't going to be that spontaneous. I prefer not to have tonnes of spontaneity now - it's nice to have consistency and know the man is reliable and taking your feelings into account. I've sometimes found spontaneity too much as I don't always want to be whisked away to do something or be surprised - spontaneity can backfire.

 

One of my exes was quite spontaneous but he was selfish about it - he would surprise me wanting to do something with me or go somewhere but it was because that was a time that he liked and not really because he wanted to surprise me. It meant I had no time to prepare for going out and I felt quite uncomfortable. So to me, I'd much rather a guy call me in advance and say "I'd like to take you out somewhere. How about I pick you up at 7pm?" than just turn up at my door. A guy who plans in advance and thinks about what also works for me is more considerate in my opinion.

[TaraMaiden2]

Boy offers to buy girl present. Girl refuses offer of present. Girl moans about not getting a present.

 

You couldn't make this stuff up could you!

"Dear Jerry Springer, please can I be on your programme...?"

[thecrucible]

I can just imagine the post if he had gotten the helicopter ride.....

 

My boyfriend got me a stupid helicopter ride for Valentine's day. It only lasted 15 minutes and I felt sick the whole time. Why couldn't he gave gotten me something nice, like a ring or something....

 

haha that's what I'd think. I don't like the idea of a helicopter ride on Valentines Day. I'd rather have something more low key. And you also have to think, why should the guy come up with huge gestures too soon in a relationship? That seems like the kind of thing for a proposal.

[coolheadal]

Valentines day is more for appreciations of what you the woman has done for her man last year. In return he gets to appreciates what you done. The gifts are roses candy and dinner out. Yours wanted to do something different and he knows what type of woman you are so he gone with mall shopping and rings. You should let him do what he wanted to do for appreciation of you. Just be happy to know he showing you how much he cares about you. Not your choice to pick what you want it's up to him to buy you things if that is the sort of man he is? If you don't like it then leave and go find someone who wants to spend a lot on you!