Author road Posted February 19, 2016 Author Posted February 19, 2016 I think it's perfectly reasonable, if you value sexual exclusivity. If the single AP is sexually exclusive with the MAP, on request of the MAP,my hey have the right to request and expect reciprocity. If the MAP is not prepared to offer it, they have no right to ask it. Fair's fair. This ignores the fact that the BS does not know about the affair, and knows of no reason to be cut off. So you are saying that the AP's needs must come before the BS's.
SolG Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 At about the one year mark MM and I had a conversation about sexual exclusivity. I remember it vividly because we were away and it was his birthday. There was no request from either per se, just an agreement we reached that that was what we would like. And so we did. And for the next four years I was sexually monogomous for the first time in my life. In an A. Life can be unusual sometimes. 1
Author road Posted February 20, 2016 Author Posted February 20, 2016 At about the one year mark MM and I had a conversation about sexual exclusivity. I remember it vividly because we were away and it was his birthday. There was no request from either per se, just an agreement we reached that that was what we would like. And so we did. And for the next four years I was sexually monogomous for the first time in my life. In an A. Life can be unusual sometimes. This statement does not make clear if he cut off his BW or if you had a BH and cut him off. You assume that we know your story.
SolG Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 This statement does not make clear if he cut off his BW or if you had a BH and cut him off. You assume that we know your story. Sorry road. I'm a SOW with a MM. I stopped dating and he stopped having sex with his W. And yes, I do know it is true beyond his say so.
cocorico Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 This ignores the fact that the BS does not know about the affair, and knows of no reason to be cut off. So you are saying that the AP's needs must come before the BS's. De facto, they already do - the APs' need for the affair comes before the BS's need for sexual exclusivity. Besides, given a choice of sharing their WS sexually with the AP, or eschewing sex with a non-exclusive partner, I'm sure many BS would willingly opt to go without - at least, according to what I've read on these boards.
cocorico Posted February 20, 2016 Posted February 20, 2016 Except for that pesky little fact that they are CHEATING. The married person is already being unfaithful, and unless they are being lied to, the AP is happily enabling and participating. The WS may be unfaithful, but they are not necessarily sexually non-exclusive - if the M is sexless, for example, or the WS is serially monogamous and stops having sex with one partner (the BS) when acquiring a new one (the AP).
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