road Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 I read a thread where the OW was not happy that her OM was still having sex with his BW. This got me thinking how many WW, WH, were asked by their AP to not sleep with their BS. Also how many WW, WH asked by their AP to cut off their BS. So who cut off sex during the affair with their BS? Who asked for it the AP or the WS? How long did the affair go on before the BS got cut off?
MJJean Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 It's been many years since my first marriage, but I don't remember any AP asking me to stop having sex with my exH. I never asked them to stop dating or having sex, either. I did stop having sex with him when I met my then AP/now DH, but that wasn't by request. And it was just a few weeks before I ended the marriage.
Babs22 Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 My AP did not ask me to stop having sex with my H. It was something that I did on my own simply because I could not have sex with both my AP and my H at the same time. My AP actually told me that we should continue to have sex with our spouses and that I needed to "take one for the team" so as not to draw suspicions. I, of course, just could not do it. His wife was not that interested in sex anymore so he didn't have to do that much to not draw suspicions. Ten months after our affair he had surgery and had total ED, so he no longer needed an excuse. His wife knew this could be a result of the surgery and never seemed interested in trying to help him recover from it. It took well over a year and a lot of patience, practice and trying different things, but the ED has recovered. My H is pissed that we don't have sex and treats me like ****. His wife, who was not that interested in sex (at least not with him), seems happy as can be. She doesn't have to have sex, but has a happily married H (or so it appears). Anyways, my AP never told me not to have sex with my H, I just couldn't do it. 1
Popsicle Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 (edited) I never asked my xMM to not have sex with his wife, but I'll be honest, I definitely didn't want him to. I just kept that to myself though. I never knew if he was or wasn't having sex with her because it wasn't spoken about. I have seen some AP's have a hissy fit about it if it comes up though. When I've seen this happen, it's the MP who voluntarily offers up the info on their own whether or not they are having sex with their spouse, OR someone hints at it as an attempt to sciphen out info about it, and is either successful in getting it or not. Then there are some married AP's who have don't have a problem with it because they are in the same boat. I always got the impression that there were definitely problems in xMM's marriage, but he worked hard to mask them, not only to me, but to himself, and everyone else. He seemed embarrassed because he's so perfect and all. I didn't want to know about any problems anyway. The last thing I wanted to do is spend our little time together listening to him whine about his marriage that he does nothing about. I don't like whiny men anyway. Edited February 14, 2016 by Popsicle 1
joseb Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I read a thread where the OW was not happy that her OM was still having sex with his BW. This got me thinking how many WW, WH, were asked by their AP to not sleep with their BS. Also how many WW, WH asked by their AP to cut off their BS. So who cut off sex during the affair with their BS? Who asked for it the AP or the WS? How long did the affair go on before the BS got cut off? Is there a list of what these acronymous mean somewhere? I only just learned "OW", I have nfi what BS AP WW WS or WH could possibly mean! I actually thought it was a joke post, but as others seem to understand, I guess it's not. 1
sandylee1 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Is there a list of what these acronymous mean somewhere? I only just learned "OW", I have nfi what BS AP WW WS or WH could possibly mean! I actually thought it was a joke post, but as others seem to understand, I guess it's not. All in relation to infidelity BS = betrayed spouse BW /BH = betrayed wife/betrayed husband WS = wayward spouse (the cheater ) WW = wayward wife WH = wayward husband AP = affair partner (can be either gender) 3
whichwayisup Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I read a thread where the OW was not happy that her OM was still having sex with his BW. This got me thinking how many WW, WH, were asked by their AP to not sleep with their BS. Also how many WW, WH asked by their AP to cut off their BS. So who cut off sex during the affair with their BS? Who asked for it the AP or the WS? How long did the affair go on before the BS got cut off? How would an OW know 100% that their MM cut sex off at home? All they have is his word! 4
RecentChange Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 We encouraged each other to have more sex at home.... I gave him some tips on things I thought his wife would like... I told him how he teased me up - and I would go home and pounce my BS - he said good, made him feel a bit better that he wasnt taking me away from my BS. Our affair was physical - it was agreed to remain just physical before we ever embarced on it.
Whoknew30 Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 My OM stopped having sex with his gf at the time, I never asked him that, I found through mutual friends that she was complaining that he quit sleeping with her. He never asked about my H & I sex life.
still_an_Angel Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I've never asked my MM to stop having sex with his W. According to him, they have stopped having sex long before I came into his life.
WaitingForBardot Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I thought this was going to be a thread about Lysistrata... 3
gettingstronger Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Yes, our OW asked my husband not to have sex with me and he said OK, I won't-read an email exchange where we were going on a trip and she told him he could not sleep with me, to either get really drunk or pretend he was so he could sleep on the couch in the suite, he said "of course"- we did nothing but have sex that weekend- she texted Monday to see how it went- he said, I am hung over-It was an icky exchange and one he is not proud of, but said, it was all part of the game- figured she was pretending to be jealous as part of one big game they were playing-messaging each others egos-
cocorico Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 How would an OW know 100% that their MM cut sex off at home? All they have is his word! Not always. Sometimes there is other evidence, like accusatory emails from the BW, for example. 2
cocorico Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I read a thread where the OW was not happy that her OM was still having sex with his BW. This got me thinking how many WW, WH, were asked by their AP to not sleep with their BS. Also how many WW, WH asked by their AP to cut off their BS. So who cut off sex during the affair with their BS? Who asked for it the AP or the WS? How long did the affair go on before the BS got cut off? I always assumed he was having sex with the BW. I discovered later I'd been mistaken. He was sexually exclusive with me.
zanwalk Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Is there a list of what these acronymous mean somewhere? I only just learned "OW", I have nfi what BS AP WW WS or WH could possibly mean! I actually thought it was a joke post, but as others seem to understand, I guess it's not. Thanks for asking that, you were not alone in struggling to decipher the code!
soleilesquire Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I would think that an AP asking the WS to be "faithful" to them would be the ultimate irony. Just saying. 3
Author road Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 I would think that an AP asking the WS to be "faithful" to them would be the ultimate irony. Just saying. I have read numerous times where the OM has asked the WW to stop doing her BH and be faithful to her OM.
UpwardForward Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I couldn't understand why he wanted to continue sex after he told me he didn't want to be married anymore .. and before I found out about the OW. I later found out my husband had told the OW we were not sleeping together, when actually we had been. Amazing how outsiders are able to make demands - or dictate regarding someone else's marriage, isn't it? I remember years later, when he was in the hospital and I called him to see how he was. OW (now 'wife'), took it out on my children and lecturing them why I wasn't to call him. It had been her phone calls to our shop that began their affair to begin with.
soleilesquire Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I have read numerous times where the OM has asked the WW to stop doing her BH and be faithful to her OM. I'm sure it happens, I just think it takes a lot of gall for the person who is helping someone cheat to ask for faithfulness.
preraph Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I had remarkably frank bfs, two that were separated and in process of divorce. I certainly didn't want them coming to me if they weren't done with the wife. But this was not a BW. In fact, she cheated first. Still both guys told me with sad eyes they couldn't imagine never sleeping with their first wives ever again. Then I got tired of one letting her monopolize the weekends and when I asked about it got told "None of your business," upon which I broke if off. He had come to me really desperate during the separation. We'd been fine just as friends. He insisted on dating and wanted to move in and I wasn't even really wanting all that, and certainly not then, but just went along (dating, not moving in officially) because he seemed like he really needed me. I even asked him to date this other woman he liked first. I said, "Go date her first. I don't want to be the first." Anyway, don't know if they were still having sex, because "none of your business," but she certainly wanted me to think so because she was always dirty dancing right in front of him at gigs during that period of time. I ain't got time for that.
katiegrl Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Is there a list of what these acronymous mean somewhere? I only just learned "OW", I have nfi what BS AP WW WS or WH could possibly mean! I actually thought it was a joke post, but as others seem to understand, I guess it's not. I know me too! I thought it would make a funny SNL skit! SNL = Saturday Night Live. lol
Robert Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Is there a list of what these acronymous mean somewhere? I only just learned "OW", I have nfi what BS AP WW WS or WH could possibly mean! I actually thought it was a joke post, but as others seem to understand, I guess it's not. Folks, we have a consolidated thread on acronyms here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/367538-loveshack-terminology ~6
Daisy2013 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 My MM swore he and his W didn't have sex. He held to that and we were even together on their anniversary. I believed him because when we were together, he was always so quick, I wasn't sure if it was because he was telling me the truth or had something to do with his age (60). He never asked me to stop sleeping with my H, but admitted it bothered him to think about it. I didn't ask him, but would tell him if he would have sex at home, he would be happy a wouldn't need me. He craved intimacy. He'd just snort and say it wasn't happening. I don't really know. Our A wasn't about typical sex, we didn't have it often. Heavy intimacy and pleasure in other ways and friendship, but actual sex was rare. 1
cocorico Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I would think that an AP asking the WS to be "faithful" to them would be the ultimate irony. Just saying. I think it's perfectly reasonable, if you value sexual exclusivity. If the single AP is sexually exclusive with the MAP, on request of the MAP,my hey have the right to request and expect reciprocity. If the MAP is not prepared to offer it, they have no right to ask it. Fair's fair.
soleilesquire Posted February 19, 2016 Posted February 19, 2016 I think it's perfectly reasonable, if you value sexual exclusivity. If the single AP is sexually exclusive with the MAP, on request of the MAP,my hey have the right to request and expect reciprocity. If the MAP is not prepared to offer it, they have no right to ask it. Fair's fair. Except for that pesky little fact that they are CHEATING. The married person is already being unfaithful, and unless they are being lied to, the AP is happily enabling and participating.
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