falxmanolo Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Hey guys! Happy Valentine's Day! So I met this guy online who I have been texting for the past one month. We live in different cities and I travel a lot on work so we were meant to meet this weekend. After a very long time, I finally got along with a guy completely fine and it was so natural. Last week, he texted me saying he was feeling emotional because he was going to run into his ex of a year at a social event. He also said that he only realised how much she meant to him only after she was gone and that the thought of meeting her paralyses him. So, I told him politely that I don't wish to complicate our lives and deleted the messaging account I used to text him. I have learnt from my mistakes and I decided to take the situation under my control and walked away letting him deal with his issues with his ex. But I can't stop thinking about him?! This is absolutely strange! I'm second guessing if I was too quick to cut him off? I mean, we hadn't even met. We just got along so well!! Given the fact that he's emotionally unavailable, is there anything I could've done different? And is it normal to miss somebody you haven't even met?! Aargh!!! 1
Robratory Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Well, you got emotionally invested when you texted him for a month. As a rule, do not do that! The initial online contact should be followed up with a meeting with a few days, no more than a week. And if you live in an actual city as opposed to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, don't even consider people who live farther than you would commute. As for this guy, who knows what his deal is. There's lots of weirdos on the internet. That' why you don't get involved or invested before you meet them in real life. 2
truth_seeker Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 There's lots of weirdos on the internet. That' why you don't get involved or invested before you meet them in real life. I couldn't agree more. I don't know what's worse: being a man dating or a woman dating? 1
Redhead14 Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Hey guys! Happy Valentine's Day! So I met this guy online who I have been texting for the past one month. We live in different cities and I travel a lot on work so we were meant to meet this weekend. After a very long time, I finally got along with a guy completely fine and it was so natural. Last week, he texted me saying he was feeling emotional because he was going to run into his ex of a year at a social event. He also said that he only realised how much she meant to him only after she was gone and that the thought of meeting her paralyses him. So, I told him politely that I don't wish to complicate our lives and deleted the messaging account I used to text him. I have learnt from my mistakes and I decided to take the situation under my control and walked away letting him deal with his issues with his ex. But I can't stop thinking about him?! This is absolutely strange! I'm second guessing if I was too quick to cut him off? I mean, we hadn't even met. We just got along so well!! Given the fact that he's emotionally unavailable, is there anything I could've done different? And is it normal to miss somebody you haven't even met?! Aargh!!! Well, if you read some of the posts on this board, yes, it appears, at least, to be normal to miss somebody you have even met Really, though, you aren't missing him, you're missing the vision, the idea you had of him and thinking about possibilities, etc. You're missing your pen pal. Just start telling yourself that essentially he was a daydream and keep moving. 1
Author falxmanolo Posted February 14, 2016 Author Posted February 14, 2016 Well, you got emotionally invested when you texted him for a month. As a rule, do not do that! The initial online contact should be followed up with a meeting with a few days, no more than a week. And if you live in an actual city as opposed to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, don't even consider people who live farther than you would commute. As for this guy, who knows what his deal is. There's lots of weirdos on the internet. That' why you don't get involved or invested before you meet them in real life. Yep, I am in total agreement. I'm very new to online dating and I'm learning my way haha. I think I am just missing the idea of someone like him. Thank you for your insight! 1
Author falxmanolo Posted February 14, 2016 Author Posted February 14, 2016 Well, if you read some of the posts on this board, yes, it appears, at least, to be normal to miss somebody you have even met Really, though, you aren't missing him, you're missing the vision, the idea you had of him and thinking about possibilities, etc. You're missing your pen pal. Just start telling yourself that essentially he was a daydream and keep moving. Absolutely, thank you! I completely get what you mean and I do think you're right. I liked how effortlessly we got along virtually and I am just sad to see the possibility of a relationship failing. Oh well, we live and learn. Thank you! 1
joseb Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 It seems like there are more and more posts these dates about failed "relationships" between people that never have met up. I don't know what's going on. Perhaps these dating sites need some basic guidelines or warnings, like "hey, looks like this 'match' is 3000k from you, are you sure you want to waste your time?" Agree with other posters, a couple of messages and meet up. Online is not real.
Author falxmanolo Posted February 14, 2016 Author Posted February 14, 2016 It seems like there are more and more posts these dates about failed "relationships" between people that never have met up. I don't know what's going on. Perhaps these dating sites need some basic guidelines or warnings, like "hey, looks like this 'match' is 3000k from you, are you sure you want to waste your time?" Agree with other posters, a couple of messages and meet up. Online is not real. Yup, i do cringe at how I feel. It's strange though because as one of the users mentioned, once you're emotionally invested, it's hard?! I think I'll get over it by tomorrow but it's just a nagging feeling you know! Ugh. I could be in high school
joseb Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Yup, i do cringe at how I feel. It's strange though because as one of the users mentioned, once you're emotionally invested, it's hard?! I think I'll get over it by tomorrow but it's just a nagging feeling you know! Ugh. I could be in high school Yeah I can see once your invested it could be painful. The easiest way to avoid that is not to get invested with anyone you have not met. Limit contact till you do meet.
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