scooby-philly Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Maybe I'm hear to vent more than get advice. But I always welcome other perspectives so don't think I would not welcome it. Met a girl on Match. She winked at me first. I winked back and we talked online for about a week. Asked for her number and she gave it to me. We talked once and at the end she suggested we meet up soon. I said sure - I've learned there's no reason to pussy foot around and not get to the point! So, SHE suggested today - coffee, downtown 1pm. Great. I work literally 1 block from where she suggested so easy for me. I literally just got into my car at 1045 to drive to work get some stuff done then walk over to the place. She texted. She said "can we postpone the meet up till Wed. I have a lot of school work I'm trying to get done for tomorrow." I said "um ...okay I guess". Her response was simply "Ok. sorry for this". A few points about our conversations thus far: 1. We were emailing back and forth. I asked for her number....it took her two days to respond. She did give it to me, but claimed the increase was due to school. (I'm 34 she's 28 and going after a master's) 2. She was very, very nervous and said so when we talked on the phone. 3. We texted a few times after the first call and she said when we chatted briefly on the phone a second time that she hates calling 4. She was in another city yesterday and even texted me - but cancels last minute About our "date" 1. She cancels because of school? She's the one that suggested the date/time/location. 2. You cancel 2 hours before because of school? Then you don't even offer a real apology? And you don't even offer a clear time on Wed.? 3. She didn't even realize today was Valentine's Day when she suggested we meet up. Is she serious? 4. She said "meet up" - like it was two friends getting coffee. 5. Even if you hate talking on the phone - you call to cancel a date! Especially 2 hours before! Especially if you're in the early stages! Now, advice: My approach will be to not initiate contact. If she contacts me I will respond and keep it light and simple. She setup the date and couldn't stick to it and everything thus far (from 2 weeks of convo) makes it seem like she's a lot of work and I'm not interested in that. If she holds through to Wed great. If she postpones again or doesn't contact me and wednesday flies by - goodbye. Thoughts? 1
road Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 3. She didn't even realize today was Valentine's Day when she suggested we meet up. Is she serious? 4. She said "meet up" - like it was two friends getting coffee. If I was on the market for a GF: I don't care what day it is if I am free I am going to meet her. Yet you do not have a GF, yet you can not see her because it's Valentine's Day, what? Meet up! You are not BF-GF yet. Many people these days use coffee "dates" to see if real dates should happen. Again why are you being so critical? 1
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 I totally get it, this isn't leaving you with a good impression. Keep your options open and don't put anymore effort into this one. 1
Author scooby-philly Posted February 14, 2016 Author Posted February 14, 2016 @road. Read my post again. I said she chose today. Ihave no problem with it. I was saying that of all days to cancel a first date I wouldn't chose this one especially as this was her choice. @smackie9 That's exactly my point. I'm not going to put any effort into it until she does
thecrucible Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Either she is wishy washy about her interest or she's not very good at time management and anticipating when she is available. Some people are scatty like that. 1
Author scooby-philly Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 Agreed, My main argument was that I left the planning of when/where up to her and that's what she suggested. If she can't even suggest something based on her own schedule...... Over 24 hours and no follow up yet. I'll report back on Wednesday if she contacts or not. 1
Author scooby-philly Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 So I just broke down and sent her a note. Ok - that doesn't make me a sucker....but if she's not that into me....ugh...I hate myself sometimes... Oh well - we'll see what happens
Author scooby-philly Posted February 18, 2016 Author Posted February 18, 2016 so we finally met up. Not a lot of chemistry. At least my radar is on - i kind of felt that talking on the phone. Now to learn how to be polite and not waste my time and know it's okay - I don't have to worry about being a "nice guy"
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