Popsicle Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 I've experienced that kind of feeling once in my life. Chemistry definitely exists. It was really intense. We couldn't take our eyes off each other. I had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't act on it (but I actually felt tonnes more chemistry with him than that boyfriend). Looking back I wouldn't ignore this and I would definitely think that there either wasn't a strong enough attraction in my relationship or something was amiss in that relationship for this intense interaction with a stranger to occur. I still remember the feeling now - it was hugely intense and absolute bliss as you said. Looking back, I felt incredibly guilty about this boyfriend who I felt I was similar to in personality but there wasn't that spark and then I'd meet men every so often who I felt intense attraction for (it wasn't an old relationship either). I felt so bad that after we broke up I thought that I had to prioritise chemistry from then on. But I went down the wrong path of seeing it in terms of sexual attraction and picked the wrong men. Now I associate it more with your heart beating faster and a feeling of warmth and bliss. It's ineffable. Saying that I don't think anyone should go into a date over-analysing it and thinking "is there chemistry?" as you can really shoot yourself in the foot. I just think you know it instinctively when something is there. It's more about being open to it than looking for it as such. Sorry I am long-winded I agree. Sorry I am too short-winded 1
neowulf Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 "Sparks" or "Chemistry" are definitely real. I've had it with women where I *knew* we were going to get together. The pull of the attraction was simply magnetic. We *knew* we were going to get together. That kind of natural banter, flirtation. It happens. It's just very very uncommon. That said, finding a true kindred spirit is one of life's great joys. If you've got the time and the will, the search for it is more than worth it. 2
Popsicle Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 "Sparks" or "Chemistry" are definitely real. I've had it with women where I *knew* we were going to get together. The pull of the attraction was simply magnetic. We *knew* we were going to get together. That kind of natural banter, flirtation. It happens. It's just very very uncommon. That said, finding a true kindred spirit is one of life's great joys. If you've got the time and the will, the search for it is more than worth it. That's so true. You both just "know it" when it happens. That's how magnetic it is. And yes, it is not common, it's rare and special. That's why it's so gripping when it does happen. 2
neowulf Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 That's so true. You both just "know it" when it happens. That's how magnetic it is. And yes, it is not common, it's rare and special. That's why it's so gripping when it does happen. Sadly, it's been so long now that I've started to feel like I'm chasing unicorns. But it's wonderful when it happens that's for sure. 1
Robratory Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 Well, I just experienced a lack of "chemistry," but I'm thinking "chemistry" just means if you're attracted or not. Or maybe that's just how it is for simple creatures like us guys. What do you think, guys? Anyway, I met her online. I happened to mention in my profile that I was looking for a "pear-shaped cutie," and she was definitely not pear-shaped. Well, I thought, it's not a deal-breaker. I guess I'm not a leg-man or a boob-guy. To me, if I'm attracted to the face, the rest isn't as important (though I'd still like a pear-shaped cutie). I met her, and I was not attracted to her face. I wouldn't tell someone that she was ugly or unattractive in general. It's just that I didn't find her face attractive to me. We sat and chatted over coffee for a good hour, and then we had dinner about a week later. But not being attracted to her face made me critical of everything else. Everything that might have been endearing otherwise became another thing against her, unfortunately. I don't think she felt the same way because she was talking about future dates. I later sent her an email telling her that I was sorry, but I wasn't feeling it and good luck. So what this just attraction or chemistry? I don't see the difference. I can't imagine finding someone attractive and at the same time not feeling it.
Mrin Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Chemistry is indeed real and when you feel it, it is like magic. My soulmate and I have chemistry that puts the rom coms to shame 2
xxoo Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 So what this just attraction or chemistry? I don't see the difference. I can't imagine finding someone attractive and at the same time not feeling it. It's different for me. I've had it go both ways: attraction fizzles because there is no chemistry, and zero attraction upon meeting becomes magnetic attraction due to overwhelming chemistry.
Leigh 87 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Well, I just experienced a lack of "chemistry," but I'm thinking "chemistry" just means if you're attracted or not. Or maybe that's just how it is for simple creatures like us guys. What do you think, guys? Anyway, I met her online. I happened to mention in my profile that I was looking for a "pear-shaped cutie," and she was definitely not pear-shaped. Well, I thought, it's not a deal-breaker. I guess I'm not a leg-man or a boob-guy. To me, if I'm attracted to the face, the rest isn't as important (though I'd still like a pear-shaped cutie). I met her, and I was not attracted to her face. I wouldn't tell someone that she was ugly or unattractive in general. It's just that I didn't find her face attractive to me. We sat and chatted over coffee for a good hour, and then we had dinner about a week later. But not being attracted to her face made me critical of everything else. Everything that might have been endearing otherwise became another thing against her, unfortunately. I don't think she felt the same way because she was talking about future dates. I later sent her an email telling her that I was sorry, but I wasn't feeling it and good luck. So what this just attraction or chemistry? I don't see the difference. I can't imagine finding someone attractive and at the same time not feeling it. I have found many men cute and hot without feeling Chemistry. Finding someone attractive doez not mean you feel the magnetic connection and the butterflies. I simply wasn't excited about mnay attractive men. And the men I was naturally excited about ..... were actually less physically atrractive in general than the hotties I turned down.
preraph Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I feel compelled to share one of the true anecdotes from my journal. This guy and I had great chemistry but what was for him apparently an insurmountable age gap. This conversation was upon ending up at the same place at the same time 10 years into it after not seeing each other for a few months. “He said he was on his second day of not smoking and was bitching: ‘What else am I supposed to do when I’m at a bar drinking, hold my ****?’ I said, ‘Hmm, I’ll have to remember that if I ever quit smoking.’ After awhile, he said, ‘Give me a Parliament.’ I said, ‘No.’ And he said, ‘Then hold my ****.’"
Httm Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I think you're just looking for a woman with a captivating personality. It is not unrealistic. Don't try looking online because there, the odds work against you. I've found this to be absolutely untrue.
anna121 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 It is not unrealistic to search for genuine, knock your socks off, OMG I've never felt this way before chemistry. But it may take a long, long, LONG time. It is definitely unrealistic to search for relationships as portrayed in movies tho.
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