How to tell if someone is just looking to sleep around or if they are down for more?

[adilaurentis]

Just through experience, I've learned signs to look for which in fact make it obvious that casual is on the cards even though he doesn't mention it. He'll be keen to meet up with you quickly in a bar at night - rather than plan something for another day. When you talk to each other, the conversation will just feel a lot more shallow. He won't ask you very in depth questions about yourself. Then obviously he'll try to accelerate close contact and lead it to the bedroom. He'll try and get you to go back to his place and that sort of thing. Another sign is when a guy asks you on a non-date type of date - like he asks you to join him and his friends for a drink.

 

I agree with other advice here about trying to set boundaries regarding anything sexually suggestive otherwise the guy's brain connects the dots and he naturally assumes he's in with a chance. It sucks but that's the way it is.

 

True. I'm usually pretty good at reading signs when the dating process is more "traditional" - dinner, drinks, movies, etc. With this new guy I'm thrown into a new territory that everything seemed too casual right from the start - chatting on a dating app (and we still haven't exchanged phone numbers yet), meeting up at a club both times, some occasional contact in between, etc. The only "comforting" thing that I've noticed is that we've had some interesting and deep conversations about our hometowns, education background, work, hobbies, friend circles, family, culture, and some other obscure topics. He'd also ask interesting and personal questions. What surprised me more is that he said he calls his parents every day and reads and cooks a lot at home, citing some recipes as "how my mom taught me."