CDPara Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Ok people, I've made a terrible mistake and I need some advice. I'm a reason person over an emotional one. Always has been this way since the beginning of my adulthood because I wouldn't worry about anything related to emotions and relationship. But 3 years ago I've met this girl, we had something and almost a year later we had a relationship that ending this November, 2 years later. This is not the problem, the problem is it ended on November 13. First of all, I realised then I wasn't happy anymore in the relationship even though I loved her very much, but she didn't know how to feel about us anymore so I break up, she came back and wanted to start over again a week later and that's the last "Love" time we had together because 2 days later she told me that she may be interested in another guy and I deserved better than that so we broke up again. That seriously affected me hardcore obviously because it's like I've put trust in her just to get betrayed, which is true in a way, but we are on good terms now and she was confused about everything and she's still feeling bad about it. But That leads up to November 22 where I talked to this girl, a girl I was matched up with back in 2011 which didn't go anywhere because I didn't really want to be in a relationship at that time period. After one facebook conversation, I felt something, it was really confusing at first and I talked about it to my friends, I feared something might go wrong if this leads up anywhere, and it did end up somewhere. This one girl became my new girlfriend unfortunately for her on December 26 officially even if we were kind of together before that. Still we fell in love so fast and it was really really a strong feeling on both sides. It didn't continue that way for long because I may be did go on a cloud for a while, but when I fell down on the ground and faced reality again, our relationship took a completely different turn. This girl was also after a break up with a guy she's been 4 years with, around 6 months ago. What happened, is that I became completely unstable, intense. I started around beginning of January to have Anxiety attacks, to cry for no reason and hyperventilation while I was still with her, which is not the case now. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship and she realized that which made me realized that too, the thing is maybe she was ready for a relationship and commitment, just not with me that the time while I was in the mental state. After the break up in late January we continue to talked and ended on good terms and stayed friends, but I was still unstable and intense which caused some disturbance to our relationship even if it wasn't a romantic one because we still had feelings. She detached herself from me because I was really intense and unstable and immature emotionally. Which is fine, but I still have feelings for her, and now I realized all the problems I had, I blocked my emotions with reasons and logic which doesn't fit at all and prove that I was completely not ready for that relationship. Love isn't something that logic and reason can define or explain, it just happen and you must let it go. I didn't, because I was afraid to get betrayed again, to get hurt again, so yeah I still love her and now that I realised I must focus myself again and be confident with myself again because having the capacity to be in a relationship again. I'm seeing a psychologist to help out about my Identity crisis in all of this and find myself again, it works out, I'm starting to do what I love again, drawing, piano, working on videos, etc. I'm starting to get better and be more confident and I have anxiety sometimes when I think of her but not all the time and it gets better. I was just wondering what should I do with her? I don't think I should approach her romantically at all, but at least seeing her, spend time with her, talk with her, get to know her better like she will be able to now because I am myself again. What do you guys think? Is this a bond worth fighting for or something I must just move on from? It was a rebound, but we love each other so much, she said I was the best thing that happened in her life, that I was the man of her dream and the man of her life and that she was never this happy, maybe it was just the hooneymoon phase, but my ex never said somethings like that to me and it shocked me when she said these things. I think she still loves me even if she says she doesn't in a way to detached the romantic bond for now. She's a girl and I don't know how to understand girls sometimes. Anyway let me know your opinions!
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