TessaM Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 My on and off boyfriend of many years and I just got back together. This time he's serious about making things right and wants us to really work out. The problem, however, is that my family refuses to see him. At first they were totally against the idea of us getting back together at all because of how much he has hurt me in the past. we got together anyway, and my family eventually came to accept it, but they won't interact with him. When he comes over, they'd go to their room or make some excuse that they're going out. When he invites them out to eat with us or offer to cook for my family, they say no. I understand where my family is coming from so I don't try to push them into seeing him. But now this is starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend because he feels that we can't ever truly be together if my family hates him. What should I do?? I understand both sides' reasoning for feeling the way that they do but I'm clueless as to how to make them get along. 1
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 I understand where my family is coming from so I don't try to push them into seeing him. But now this is starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend because he feels that we can't ever truly be together if my family hates him. What should I do?? I understand both sides' reasoning for feeling the way that they do but I'm clueless as to how to make them get along. He must have hurt you a great deal for your family to act this way. What did he do to you? As a mother I can tell you there are things I would never ever forgive. If her boyfriend ever hit her, steal from her, degrade her, control her, belittle her, he would be on my black list for the rest of his life and I don't care if that ruined her relationship with him. In fact I'd be happy if it ruined her relationship with him. 3
Author TessaM Posted February 14, 2016 Author Posted February 14, 2016 He never hit or stole from me, but I've gone into depression twice over the years because of him, to where I wanted to quit school and even life. Long story short, he had nothing when we first got together and my family welcomed him with open arms. He eventually made something of himself, started getting cocky and flirty with other girls, and eventually left me. My family hates him because they saw how depressed I can get when it comes to him and they don't want me to ever experience that again. I completely understand that. It's just, this time is different. I can tell he has matured significantly. And even if it doesn't work out, my self-esteem is way better than it was years ago, so I know so wouldn't get depressed over him again. I don't know how to get my family to understand that. 1
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 I have a few more questions. How many times did you break up? How long ago you broke up with him last time? How long ago did you get back together? 1
yxalitis Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Whatever the story is, your family's behavior is very telling. If they can't accept him to the point that they leave the room, may I suggest you never take him over, good God! However, from what tiny clues you've revealed, I'm guessing this guy is Bad News with a capital "B", and your family is sick of you making the same mistakes over and over. 3
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 I agree with the above post.... IMO you have never benefited having him in your life. I really can't understand why you want risk being in an unhealthy situation again because of him. Trust me on this, there is way better out there...you can do better. 1
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