justified Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 For the guys: would you lie to your partner about a female friend if there was nothing going on between the two of you? Like my bf will text me at times and say "hey im going to Dons to help him just wanted to let you know." he has a new female friend that hes been hanging with I found out the other day when I got this feeling that something was up. And this feeling was about this new friend i met months ago when I had stopped by. So I toldhim what is A*y car doing there. He said I was lying that it wasnt. So I go over there and there they are sitting on the couch. She throws me a look dont say hi nothing so i sat down feeling akward. So he tells me he is going with her to find a friend of his. And I said i'll wait til you get back. He never came back. So i was asking him why she was here and how she got there. He said she wreaked her car and was using his truck and just got back. I said thats fine. Then he text I going up north with her dont know how long its going to take. And never heard from him til the following morning 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 I think you can do better, don't you? 2
Satu Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Are you familiar with the term, 'gaslighting?' 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 For the guys: would you lie to your partner about a female friend if there was nothing going on between the two of you? Not a guy, but seeing as lying to your partner is pretty much gender-neutral, I'll answer no. 1
Author justified Posted February 13, 2016 Author Posted February 13, 2016 Are you familiar with the term, 'gaslighting?' No whats that 1
Satu Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 No whats that Follow the link if you want to know, or google it.
RRM321 Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 (edited) Regardless of gender, I think some basic common sense comes into play. It's healthy for each party in a couple to have their own friendships. However, when we are a couple - to truly be healthy our friendships must be friendly to us as a couple. We don't have to hang out together, as we might have some different interests but, my partner should know and be comforted that my friends support and defend our relationship. If I am being pursued by a friend, those ulterior motives are hostile to me and my partner as a couple. If I'm aware of the chase, allow it to continue while denying it to my partner, then I am already having an emotional affair and testing the waters. For the OP, the lack of parity between what you witness and what you are being told suggests your relationship is not as close as you believe. You do not appear to be the priority, or someone he keeps "in the know." Edited February 14, 2016 by RRM321 1
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