Jayyy Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) My ex and I broke up in August and have been broken up for now 6 months. we stayed in contacts for 4 months and it was so ridiculous. First of all I don't have a clear explanation as to why we broke up because it was sudden and random. All that was said was "I don't feel the same way" and he didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. It was hard for me because I really liked him and still do. It was a great relationship with a ****** excuse breakup. Yet during those 4 months of contact we would mostly message each other over facebook and sometimes he would be formal, friendly or flirty. Towards the end of year it became more flirty. This was really screwing me up as I still liked him, so I would find myself sending paragraphs asking why he was behaving like that and I even told him I still had feelings. I found myself repeating this more than once during that time period and he would read the message and either totally ignore it or change the subject and avoid answering anything to do with our relationship. He would still flirt with me even after saying all of that. My emotions kept going up and down and it hurt me so much. It hurt me that when I asked for answers he wouldn't give them to me and still play with my feelings. It's funny that he knows he's wrong because a few days before the end of December he said something that to him was silly/flirty and I got upset and told him how this fake "friendship" was stupid since he wasn't even treating me like a normal friend. He admitted and said "if someone did the stuff to me that I did to you I'd be pissed at them". He knew he was wrong! And I still said thank you! -__- So the day after New Year I blocked him on facebook and instagram. It's been a month and a few days and I know that isn't long but I just miss him. He hasn't tried to text, call or email me. Last night I kinda caved into my emotions and unblocked him but I didn't add him on any of my social media or contacted him so unless he's been checking my profile (which I doubt), he probably won't know I unblocked him. I know people will say it's good to not talk to him but I can't help but feel this way I guess. I've been feeling better because I didn't have to deal with these emotional ups and downs but I miss everything else about him I'm afraid that he won't take me seriously if I contact him after going to the extent of blocking him on social media and now running back and texting "hi". Is it worth contacting him? Edited February 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for paragraphs ~ V 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) Either way, no, why the hell would you contact this person? He clearly told you he was using you and he doesn't seem to bothered about your blocking and doesn't seem to regret his decision to break up with you. I mean, there's literally no point to blocking him and of course he won't take you seriously -- he didn't before. Edited February 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
sandylee1 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 If a man wants you in his life...you'll be there. You shouldn't have to be left hanging when he clearly doesn't feel the same way for you. You need to block him again and move on from this. When you meet the right man..you'll never have to suffer this hurt of being dumped like that. You deserve way better than he's going to give you. 1
Satu Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Snip Is it worth contacting him? Only if you want to be unhappy, and I don't think you do.
Author Jayyy Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 anyone else want to give me their input? feel free to do so!
Simon Phoenix Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 anyone else want to give me their input? feel free to do so! I'm not sure you're going to find what you want to hear. It's just a really bad idea.
BeFierce Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 (edited) lol Don't Do It Jay. I wouldn't be surprised if the man you speak of, turns out to be the guy I cut off or if that's his identical twin. Why are you putting importance on wanting his company? Sure, there were some fleeting moments of good time, but the sound of it he was playing with your emotions, making you have doubts and insecure Why do you want to go back to that? You'll be cheating yourself out of a real relationship. It will be as if you were investing all your savings in a fixed carni game, where you aim for the bucket, but the ball keeps bouncing back, because it's been rigged. You get excitement that your almost there, and maybe you even come close to the target a couple of times, and you get cheap prizes to reaffirm that you are almost going to win the big one. But are the cheap wholesale less than a dollar prizes worth it when you've ended up spending $100 ? Was the thrill of that worth it? Of course not. Same thing would happen if you go back into this relationship. While you'd invest into the relationship more, he will only toss you pennies, that you'd have to bend over and look for on the ground. Are those fleeting moments of what you think is happiness really worth it? He will not advance the relationship into what you want, you will be only left hurt when you find out he's pursuing someone else. Because he will not regard your effort and love for him, he will dismiss it entirely, and if you dare mention it he will say your the one read things too deeply, I did nothing to lead you on. He will just mock you. A man who cannot be clear with you is a coward and doesnt care about your feelings. A true friend will be clear and firm. Edited February 15, 2016 by BeFierce
Author Jayyy Posted March 12, 2016 Author Posted March 12, 2016 update: so I ended up contacting him...twice. I did it in Feburary but chickened out which is why I felt like redoing it again now. In February, I called him and as the phone rang I suddenly chickened out and ended it before he could pick up. I got so nervous! He texted me saying "you called?" And I was like "sorry wrong person" (which was stupid as I defeated my purpose of contacting him). Then I asked how he was and he said he was ok but didn't answer anything further when I asked about school. I though I was right and decided to not contact him. However as time went on I've been missing him. I went back and thought about my attempt and realized it wasn't a very good or honest one. It was lame. So yesterday I straight up texted him saying "hey what's up? :)" and we talked for awhile! He was nice and we talked really general things going on, nothing too interesting as it is our 1st convo in awhile. He was talking about his thoughts of joining a sport team at his college and I suggested a sport that he was playing when I first met him in HS and he laughed. It was my lowkey attempt at sliding something old without being too hard on it. I really want advice on how to carry out things from here. Should I make more attempts? Does this look like a decent sign? We were more than civil. Nice and towards the end of the convo pretty friendly
triple-s Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 update: so I ended up contacting him...twice. Everyone wrote Don't contact him ... yet you still contact him. Whats the point in giving you advice when youre not gonna listen ? You're only fooling yourself .
Simon Phoenix Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 update: so I ended up contacting him...twice. I did it in Feburary but chickened out which is why I felt like redoing it again now. In February, I called him and as the phone rang I suddenly chickened out and ended it before he could pick up. I got so nervous! He texted me saying "you called?" And I was like "sorry wrong person" (which was stupid as I defeated my purpose of contacting him). Then I asked how he was and he said he was ok but didn't answer anything further when I asked about school. I though I was right and decided to not contact him. However as time went on I've been missing him. I went back and thought about my attempt and realized it wasn't a very good or honest one. It was lame. So yesterday I straight up texted him saying "hey what's up? :)" and we talked for awhile! He was nice and we talked really general things going on, nothing too interesting as it is our 1st convo in awhile. He was talking about his thoughts of joining a sport team at his college and I suggested a sport that he was playing when I first met him in HS and he laughed. It was my lowkey attempt at sliding something old without being too hard on it. I really want advice on how to carry out things from here. Should I make more attempts? Does this look like a decent sign? We were more than civil. Nice and towards the end of the convo pretty friendly Ugh really? The advice is to leave it be. He was being friendly to you, doesn't mean he wants to date you.
Shiggs Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Ugh really? The advice is to leave it be. He was being friendly to you, doesn't mean he wants to date you. This.. I mean if he wanted to be with you, he would've made it way more clear. I know if I wanted to be with someone, I'd initiate and make it pretty damn clear that I want them in my life as more than just friends. I think you're grasping at straws here and it's only hurting you in the end, so please for the sake of your dignity and self-respect, please stop.
YWGMan Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 OMG talk about self respect and dignity? You should stop contacting him!!! End of story.
elaine567 Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Having been a dumper, I can tell you your nice conversation meant little TO HIM. Yes, it is nice to hear that they do not hate you, that they didn't curl up and die after you dumped them, even good to hear what they are doing now in their lives, great to catch up in a friendly way, but as for wanting them back. NO WAY! He has had 6 long months to regret his decision, he hasn't reached out to you in all that time and said "I made a terrible mistake, let's get back together, Jayyy" has he? Leave him be. Stop opening up your old wounds. Move on
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