Author em88 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Share Posted June 10, 2005 thanks for answering all my q's. it helped alot Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 em88 i can totally relate to you because i didnt get any explanation either, he just told me he felt "something was missing" from our relationship. I told him I dont understand because our relationship was great, had trips planned etc.. he told me if i needed a specific reason then no i would never understand.. go figure! So after hearing all of that i just decided, screw it, i tried i was nice, i gave him his space yet still he wasnt willing to give me a reason, why because i almost dont think they always have a reason, sometimes i think they freak themselves out causing them to break up with us with no warning.. Of course im just speculating tho... Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by em88 well what if she was still in love with you? would u still not give it to her? If I just didn't want to be with the girl anymore I would be up for talking to her. But if she f*cked me over or cheated on me then I don't want anything to do with her. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Appropriate to this discussion is a quote (from Teddy Roosevelt, I think. Maybe Mark Twain... whatever. Some dead guy) "Neber ascribe to malice that which can be adequately attributed to incompentence" Don't assume they're doin it to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella82 Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 My ex also did the samething to me, he broke up with me with no explanation. I asked him why, and he blamed the whole thing on me, which didn't make any sense. I think a lot of the reason why he didn't give me a good enough answer was not only because he didn't have one, but also because he just didn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 I think as others have said it depends on the circumstances for the reason of the break up. If the girl is playing games, really horrible, or cheated I don't think you owe them anything, in fact they should know why you're leaving. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Originally posted by Sal Paradise I think as others have said it depends on the circumstances for the reason of the break up. If the girl is playing games, really horrible, or cheated I don't think you owe them anything, in fact they should know why you're leaving. One girl I broke up with cried the night I said it was over, saying she wasn't sure. As if this lukewarm effort was going to soften my heart after all she put me through. Too late. Next day she spoke to my sister, crying, and said it was all her fault. Too late. A short while after, she sends me a letter because she was too afraid to call. Too late. Four months later, she saw my sister and told her she's still waiting for me to call. Too late. Too late. Too bad. I don't even have her number anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2005 Share Posted June 12, 2005 Uhmmm, after 4 months I think she should have gotten the hint that there ain't gonna be a phone call! Link to post Share on other sites
zack121 Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 westernxer I don't understand your logic, but respect what you have to do, Question, have you ever wondered why a girl has broken up with you? have you never felt that you wanted/needed an answer? whats your take on mine dude? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t64907/ love to hear what u think, prolly think I am softc**k, sucker moron, what have you done in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
Jadey Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 This is one thing that really really pisses me off! Why the hell guys cant give youanswers after theyve broke your heart. Take my guy, i was wonderful to him, we had no problems, argued like onceover something silly, i would have done anything for him. He said he loved me so much and was so happy we were together, we made plans etc etc etc. Then he just dimped me. I asked him why and he said hes worried about what others think. Yep totally totally immature boyish answer huh! He said how i run his friends down. Now me and some of his friends get on really bad, but i have good reasons to not like them,we have issues. Its not like i dont like themfor no reason. I dont even believe for a minute thats the reason why he dumped me.I begged him for answers,cried on the phone, text him endless ect but he woud keep saying he doesnt really know why he dumped me.Hesmore confused than me! lmao. But hed avoid any questions about us,alli needed was answers. I mean thats the LEAST i deserved since he broke my heart for no real good reason I totallyunderstand if a girl has treatedyou bad,why should give them answers inface they should KNOW why you ended it!But people like me that woulda gave them the world,its unfair and very cruel IMO. I sometimes even wonder if i was too nice for his liking, well nomore! Its been 15 days of NC now. By me. Yay go me Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Why the hell guys cant give youanswers after theyve broke your heart... But hed avoid any questions about us,alli needed was answers. I mean thats the LEAST i deserved since he broke my heart for no real good reason I agree that you deserve a reasonable explanation but we don't always get this. Btw, this is true from girls as often as from guys - it has little to do with gender IME. It may well be that he genuinely doesn't know - one of my guy friends dumped his long term gf a few months back, and he genuinely can't explain it. Just a gut feeling. This shocked the rest of us guys, I can tell you. He's not the kind of guy that's in touch with his feelings. Or it may be that your guy doesn't have the guts to face you with it. Either of these options offers you a bit more closure - he's either making random decisions he can't explain or he is gutless and can't face you with honesty. Are either of them traits you want in your man? Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella82 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Yeah I totally agree, I mean just like what was said before if the girl cheats on you or treats you like crap then it makes sense to break up with her with no explanation, because it would be obvious. In my situation I also treated my ex very good, we barely fought, mostly about me catching him in stupid lies. It seemed like the only time we really talked after we broke up, I asked him why basically, and he put me down on everything about myself. What I do not understand is that he knew how much I loved him, and he knew how much I was hurting. Why did he have to go as far as making me feel even worse, when I did nothing wrong?? He could have made it at least a little better by maybe saying I am not ready even though I thought I was or etc.... But why push me down even more when I was already falling to pieces??? It is so cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
jiltedbutlearning Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 i can relate. my ex did the same thing to me told me all the bad things. and it was like beating me down more . then i asked him if there was any good and he listed how i kept a clean house (lmao) and how i tired hard in bed (because i have a medical condition and could tire easily) but whoopie, he gave me points for that. but the bottom line is he didnt care how much i cried and begged and tried to reason. he was done, made up his mind , moved on to someone else. i didnt (to my knowledge really hurt him either). and he knew how much i loved him. i think he had been thinking of leaving me for awhile. and i wish he gave me more of a hint upfront then, before the break-up. that would be nice guys. <wink wink>. but i think he held things in and waited till he was stronger. and set himself up with another woman, but he didnt want me thinking he did this so he pretended that he found this person afterwards. what it really comes down to is this..... (for me anyway).... if they do this to us....and dont care how we feel they really didnt love us. not the kind of love that adheres and is finer. it was thin love (if we did not cheat or anything like that). it was just thin. and i think they might not have any real substance to their brand of love. ...........and we then ladies are worthy of more. it just really hurts and is majorly shocking, to realize the loved we thought we shared with someone, comes down to they dont even show us now that they would even care if we are dead or alive. it's really a sad thing. recently, i prayed on this because my pain went so deep. i was thinking omg how could he completely cut me out just like that. (i used to think i was his best friend) it made me feel even more physically weak than i am. just sick. and while i was praying...i got an instant message from my ex who blocked themselves from my buddylist a year.ago. (they are engaged now) and the message said. ok youre alive thats a good thing. so that felt like some kind of medicine to my soul....(i tried to take the good out of it even though it seemed like a new plot to hurt me) i thought , ok thank you Lord for helping me get that much. i didnt answer thought, because truthfully, not only was i in shock, but i was still afraid this could lead to more pain. its amazing how much trust i lost and what lengths i will go to to protect my heart now...but i am thinking maybe just leave it at that. this was a good post and i am glad i came to it and its nice the males have been responding so openly. : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Jadey Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo I agree that you deserve a reasonable explanation but we don't always get this. Btw, this is true from girls as often as from guys - it has little to do with gender IME. It may well be that he genuinely doesn't know - one of my guy friends dumped his long term gf a few months back, and he genuinely can't explain it. Just a gut feeling. This shocked the rest of us guys, I can tell you. He's not the kind of guy that's in touch with his feelings. Or it may be that your guy doesn't have the guts to face you with it. Either of these options offers you a bit more closure - he's either making random decisions he can't explain or he is gutless and can't face you with honesty. Are either of them traits you want in your man? Yeah i get what you mean. But he is actually a nice guy, really. Thats the hardest thing about him like most people that break up with their SO can say their bad points and recall bad arguments or whatever but with us we had no proper arguments and he is a nice boy. But very confused. I dont know what the real reason is but i know he has lots of home issues. His dad is an abusive twat and keeps gambeling money away and his mum is a wreck cos of it an i know this gives him lots of inscurities and hes scared, sad, etc. But i was the one that tried to help him with it! I was always there for him, and would been for his mum too. I know what its like to have an abusive dad, me and my ex have very simaliar backgrounds and life experiences. But i think hes at a point in his life where hes making changes and is very confused. 70% of me says he'll be back for me. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey 70% of me says he'll be back for me. This happens to me a lot too. Question is: do you want him? I've come to the conclusion that I need someone I can count on when the chips are down, not someone who'll leave without warning and without trying to work it out first. Link to post Share on other sites
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