strawberryshortstack Posted February 14, 2016 Posted February 14, 2016 Don't play games to try and get what you want' date=' just be honest. You need to spell out exactly what you want. You want to be exclusive and close your online profiles. If he doesn't want that then it is time to move on.[/quote'] but she needs to meet him first!
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 but she needs to meet him first! I agree, that would make sense if this was a conventional relationship, but it isn't. They aren't able to meet yet for whatever reason, but it doesn't change the fact that she still wants them to be exclusive. Whether you or I agree with it doesn't matter to her in the least. Rather the pointing out the obvious problems with this arrangement, I am just suggesting that she be upfront and honest about what she wants from this, rather than playing games. It is up to her to decide if this will work for her or not, but it might at least ease some of the anxiety she is feeling right now. 1
Author veganpilot Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 (edited) He said he would call me to discuss our relationship today. But he didn't and I understood because he's so busy in the army and fieldcraft can get unpredictable at times. I wanted to settle this once and for all. I hope he will contact me later. I have written out what I needed to say, and what I want. I want to tell him directly exactly what I feel in my situation and what he really wants. This will determine the outcome of our "relationship". We are unable to visit each other yet. We have made plans going to Sydney next year. This is because I'm too busy flying and working on my license while he is in the army and he has to ask for leave, I think. We do live so far apart. He lives in Texas while I live in Adelaide. Wow. But what gave you the impression that we are acting like teenagers? I am trying to be mature as I can. Why cringe at mine and not his message? What is wrong with mine? By the way, I am 19 and he is 20, so I am still practically a teenager. I wish I could grow to have the mentality and calm collectiveness professional pilots have. EDIT: I screwed up real bad. Found that his profile is inactive I really want him to call me so we can speak about this. I am scared that the later he contacts me, the more likely he'll be getting over me quickly. Edited February 15, 2016 by veganpilot
elizabetk Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 If I were you, I would have an honest and open discussion with him saying that you have (or had which was the case of his dating profile) doubts and fears. Voice out your emotions and put things on the table that way you can both decide what is best in the situation. One more thing, your professional backgrounds and distance could be an inconvenience for many reasons, but trust me you cannot base your identity on your vocation when you are still a teenager. Best of luck and try to keep calm!
ChickiePops Posted February 15, 2016 Posted February 15, 2016 He said he would call me to discuss our relationship today. But he didn't and I understood because he's so busy in the army and fieldcraft can get unpredictable at times. I wanted to settle this once and for all. I hope he will contact me later. I have written out what I needed to say, and what I want. I want to tell him directly exactly what I feel in my situation and what he really wants. This will determine the outcome of our "relationship". We are unable to visit each other yet. We have made plans going to Sydney next year. This is because I'm too busy flying and working on my license while he is in the army and he has to ask for leave, I think. We do live so far apart. He lives in Texas while I live in Adelaide. Wow. But what gave you the impression that we are acting like teenagers? I am trying to be mature as I can. Why cringe at mine and not his message? What is wrong with mine? By the way, I am 19 and he is 20, so I am still practically a teenager. I wish I could grow to have the mentality and calm collectiveness professional pilots have. EDIT: I screwed up real bad. Found that his profile is inactive I really want him to call me so we can speak about this. I am scared that the later he contacts me, the more likely he'll be getting over me quickly. Actually at 19 you're not practically a teenager..ARE a teenager. The mature thing to do would have been to ask him about it calmly. You threw a hissy fit and refused to tell him why you were dancing around dumping him. You're only 19..you're allowed to be a little immature. But next time, say what you mean..don't play silly, passive-aggressive games. You will grow up. Don't stress. It'll be ok.
Author veganpilot Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) So today, he called me for the first time. He said he loves hearing my voice (apparently, his voice was deeper than I expected. But he said he isn't feeling well) , and he was so flirty when he called. We talked for about 2 hours before I've decided to hang up. I said I don't want to be a substitute, but he said he'd never do that to me. He said once he found the right one, he would only speak to that one girl. I asked him what he wanted. He directly told me he wants a relationship. He liked that I was funny, smart, pretty and also a pilot. Then, I got nervous and asked him if I could call him my boyfriend. He said yes. And I said I was scared he doesn't what to commit so I didn't pressure him. He said no, he does commit and was so happy I asked for this. He said he was really worried that day when I tried to break up with him. I said I was really worried too and wasn't concentrating, but he said: it was your call, you've done it (he was actually pretty pissed about that day). I promised him no more games and I would learn to trust him more. So I'm not sure how this would work out, but I hope he does! He said he is definitely sure it would work out and I would end up falling for him. Such a happy ending. Edited February 16, 2016 by veganpilot
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