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Guys: why would you not answer the phone?


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Posted
We just talked on phone, had a an argument and he told me it's not working and he can't do it any longer. So I guess it's over and I won't have to break it off myself...

 

I'm sorry, Lorenza. You're going to be fine. Just breathe. Try to feel some relief at least. This has been a struggle for you.

Posted
We just talked on phone, had a an argument and he told me it's not working and he can't do it any longer. So I guess it's over and I won't have to break it off myself...

 

I'm sorry honey.

 

As you see your last 3 contacts were filled with drama. Like I said earlier this relationship is on life support. It's not viable on its own. I know you must be really sad but it's for the best.

 

How about you block his number for the rest of the day? you don't need anymore drama.

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm sorry honey.

 

As you see your last 3 contacts were filled with drama. Like I said earlier this relationship is on life support. It's not viable on its own. I know you must be really sad but it's for the best.

 

How about you block his number for the rest of the day? you don't need anymore drama.

 

Block it permanently and remove it from your phone. No temptation for you to reach out. It's really important to do that.

  • Author
Posted

Hey guys!

 

A little sad update...

During the night I started having problems with my heart and had to go to emergency room. Texted my ex... He answered quite fast and seemed concerned, I told him what happened and the conversation ended with me needing to rest before the ECG which would show if its atrial defibrillation as the doctor suspected.

It's a next day now, I wrote to him the results, he's online but didn't read nor asked how I am. All that freaking love he claimed disappeared within 2 days and now I mean nothing to him... It makes me sick in the stomach :(

  • Like 1
Posted

I feel so sorry for you. But you will get over him and find someone who is there for you!

Posted

Be good to yourself now as much as possible. We know how difficult it is and will be for a little while.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
What arguments could I have to make him realize that this habit of ignoring my calls is damaging and disrespectful towards me?

I guess it's moot now, but if something like this comes up again, you could tell him, "your habit of ignoring my calls is damaging and disrespectful towards me".

Edited by PegNosePete
Posted

Lorenza, I am sorry I hope you're okay.

 

But wondering... why did you text him? He broke up with you, remember?

 

Why would you think he would respond ...he has been ignoring your texts for the better part of four months, why would you expect it to be different now?

 

Please stop texting him....take steps to get better and stronger, physically and emotionally, and move on.

 

He is never going to be who you need him to be and once you accept this, the moving on process will be a lot easier.

 

Try and get some sleep.... you must be exhausted.

 

Take care of you!!!!

  • Like 2
Posted
Hey guys!

 

A little sad update...

During the night I started having problems with my heart and had to go to emergency room. Texted my ex... He answered quite fast and seemed concerned, I told him what happened and the conversation ended with me needing to rest before the ECG which would show if its atrial defibrillation as the doctor suspected.

It's a next day now, I wrote to him the results, he's online but didn't read nor asked how I am. All that freaking love he claimed disappeared within 2 days and now I mean nothing to him... It makes me sick in the stomach :(

 

The power of suggestion.

 

Hon, you made yourself sick in the hope he'd come running back to you.

 

It's enough harm done to yourself.

 

This needs to end now.

 

Block him.

 

It will be like getting over a drug addiction for a couple of weeks then you'll be ok.

  • Like 5
Posted

I would NEVER, EVER do this to anyone, let alone a girlfriend. It is a massive sign of disrespect and of manyother negative things. He is not mature enough for a real relationship.

Posted
I was in therapy at that time and completed it with my therapist telling me I'm good to go. All this happened 4 years ago and its never ever that bad, but I still have problems with someone not answering/ignoring as it makes me nervous and cant relax until they answer.

 

Time to go back.

Posted
Time to go back.

 

Yup. In Denmark, the process may be harder, but with this latest experience, being rushed to emergency immediately after your bf broke up with you (which was no coincidence), it may be easier to get approved.

 

And hopefully, they will assign you a new different therapist.

Posted

Lorenza: Do you have any family or friends you can lean on?

Posted

Hon, today I would like you to do something for yourself. I would like you look up a support group for yourself. Those are usually free and very helpful. I have a lot of faith in support groups even more than in therapy.

 

I believe what you need is a support group for codependency. If you cannot find them online then call your social support department they will have the coordinates.

 

They are managed like AA groups. You will find there a place of support, friends, and tools to help you through this.

 

Codependents Anonymous ? 12-Step Codependency Support Group

 

Home

 

Recovery Codependency

  • Author
Posted

Hey guys,

 

Had to go to the hospital today for various tests and asked my doctor if I could get sent to the phychiatry clinic again to get some anti-anxiety pills prescribed, but she said I need to wait for my blood test results, as they suspect I might be having various deficiencies (I've been off any animalistic products for almost a year and did not take suplements) that add to or cause anxiety, since b12 deficiency affects the nervous system. Other than that, my ex called me not much later after I posted here, asking many questions about what happened, how I feel and telling he is worried about me etc. We ended up talking for an hour about things not related to the relationship.

 

Well I do think that all the stress made me sick, but I've been having issues with my heart for a long time, so does my dad and his mom. So it's not like I just suddenly talked a heart disease into myself. But worry and lack of sleep made a huge impact.

 

I appreciate the advice about seeking a support community, but I honestly don't believe that it's the right way to go for me at this moment, I feel like getting back into all the therapy is severely demotivating. Instead I renewed my group for sonwriters and musicians and created an open mic event. I'd rather spend that little free time I have on things that are fun with happy, creative people

  • Author
Posted
Lorenza: Do you have any family or friends you can lean on?

 

Got my dad, our contacts has been pretty good for the last 2 years. Not many close friends, just a lot of contacts who I barely put any effort to keep. There's a cousin my age, but she's only there when she's having love problems. So yeah, I'm basically quite lonely and many ppl I had deeper connection with were expats and moved back to their countries

Posted
Instead I renewed my group for sonwriters and musicians and created an open mic event. I'd rather spend that little free time I have on things that are fun with happy, creative people

 

That is a great idea. :)

  • Like 3
Posted
Hey guys,

 

Had to go to the hospital today for various tests and asked my doctor if I could get sent to the phychiatry clinic again to get some anti-anxiety pills prescribed, but she said I need to wait for my blood test results, as they suspect I might be having various deficiencies (I've been off any animalistic products for almost a year and did not take suplements) that add to or cause anxiety, since b12 deficiency affects the nervous system. Other than that, my ex called me not much later after I posted here, asking many questions about what happened, how I feel and telling he is worried about me etc. We ended up talking for an hour about things not related to the relationship.

 

Well I do think that all the stress made me sick, but I've been having issues with my heart for a long time, so does my dad and his mom. So it's not like I just suddenly talked a heart disease into myself. But worry and lack of sleep made a huge impact.

 

I appreciate the advice about seeking a support community, but I honestly don't believe that it's the right way to go for me at this moment, I feel like getting back into all the therapy is severely demotivating. Instead I renewed my group for sonwriters and musicians and created an open mic event. I'd rather spend that little free time I have on things that are fun with happy, creative people

 

That sounds like a great plan!! And maybe stay away from dating for awhile?

 

Focus on you!

 

All the best...

Posted

I appreciate the advice about seeking a support community, but I honestly don't believe that it's the right way to go for me at this moment, I feel like getting back into all the therapy is severely demotivating. Instead I renewed my group for sonwriters and musicians and created an open mic event. I'd rather spend that little free time I have on things that are fun with happy, creative people

 

A support group is not therapy.

 

Please go back to eating healthy. If you did not eat protein for a year then yes you may be in serious vitamins, enzymes and minerals deficiency. Protein feeds muscles, the heart is a muscle.

  • Like 1
Posted
Hey guys,

 

Had to go to the hospital today for various tests and asked my doctor if I could get sent to the phychiatry clinic again to get some anti-anxiety pills prescribed, but she said I need to wait for my blood test results, as they suspect I might be having various deficiencies (I've been off any animalistic products for almost a year and did not take suplements) that add to or cause anxiety, since b12 deficiency affects the nervous system. Other than that, my ex called me not much later after I posted here, asking many questions about what happened, how I feel and telling he is worried about me etc. We ended up talking for an hour about things not related to the relationship.

 

Well I do think that all the stress made me sick, but I've been having issues with my heart for a long time, so does my dad and his mom. So it's not like I just suddenly talked a heart disease into myself. But worry and lack of sleep made a huge impact.

 

I appreciate the advice about seeking a support community, but I honestly don't believe that it's the right way to go for me at this moment, I feel like getting back into all the therapy is severely demotivating. Instead I renewed my group for sonwriters and musicians and created an open mic event. I'd rather spend that little free time I have on things that are fun with happy, creative people

 

You'd rather have fun than be introspective and work on yourself. Duh. Sometimes easy and fun isn't what we need to actually make progress. It is just avoidance of doing something hard and necessary. You will continue to repeat your mistakes. You might wake up one day and take it seriously or you may not. It is up to you in the end.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
You'd rather have fun than be introspective and work on yourself. Duh. Sometimes easy and fun isn't what we need to actually make progress. It is just avoidance of doing something hard and necessary. You will continue to repeat your mistakes. You might wake up one day and take it seriously or you may not. It is up to you in the end.

 

I've done 1,5 years of therapy and didn't feel better neither during the process nor afterwards. The thought of going back makes me feel sick and demotivated, even the last time I had to exaggerate my situation, since the phychiatrist was doubtful if I need care just because of my anxiety and relationship problems. I had to lie about suicide thoughts which I didnt have just to get admitted. I'm not gonna do that again, cause it feels terrible.

  • Author
Posted
A support group is not therapy.

 

Please go back to eating healthy. If you did not eat protein for a year then yes you may be in serious vitamins, enzymes and minerals deficiency. Protein feeds muscles, the heart is a muscle.

 

There's plenty of protein in vegan diet. The problem is usually just the B12

  • Like 2
Posted
I've done 1,5 years of therapy and didn't feel better neither during the process nor afterwards. The thought of going back makes me feel sick and demotivated, even the last time I had to exaggerate my situation, since the phychiatrist was doubtful if I need care just because of my anxiety and relationship problems. I had to lie about suicide thoughts which I didnt have just to get admitted. I'm not gonna do that again, cause it feels terrible.

 

"nor afterwards. "

 

I suggest you read this thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/569557-guys-why-would-you-not-answer-phone

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