mark1210 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 So on Wednesday a girl I went on a date with 2 days earlier calls me late at night and wants to set up plans for drinks and a movie on Friday. I say sure no problem, what time would you like for me to pick you up. She says good question I will find out the time the movie begins and call you back tomorrow. Well tomorrow is now, and as of this moment (10:15 P CST) she hasn't called. My question is should I make other plans for Friday or wait it out? What if I do make other plans and she calls tomorrow. My friends here say there is no way a girl could forget to call a guy back that she is truly interested in and that I should make other plans. If she does call tomorrow that I should tell her that since I never heard back I made other plans. Is that right? Sounds like a mind game to me.... Would it be best just to call it a loss and move on already?
Marshbear Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Make other plans. Do not wait on someone who can't even give you the respect to call and tell you something. Peace...
kellyp1 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 I don't consider this a game as much as other games. Make other plans, do something fun for yourself. When she calls (if she calls), you will legitimately say I didn't hear from you and had an opportunity to do whatever it is you are going to do, so I took it. You are establishing that she can't keep you as her backup guy, if that is what she is trying to do and letting her know you demand respect.
curiousnycgirl Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Is there a reason you can't call her to follow up? Could be she got busy and/or caught up in whatever she was doing and forgot. I seriously wouldn't assume she's not interested since she initiated by calling you to schedule tomorrow nite.
Author mark1210 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Curiousnycgirl-- Unlikely, she is a teacher and gets paid during the summer without actually working. On Monday (out last date) she already said she has so much free time during the days. Maybe she forgot to call but if she was truly that interested in me I'm not buying that. She alluded to the fact on Monday that she hates guys that are a pushover, so I don't wanna come across that way to her. Maybe she is playing the field who knows, definately mixed signals.
kellyp1 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 To me it sounds like she is juggling several men. Seriously, make plans. You deserve better. I would only call if you had been dating a few weeks and since you haven't, she should not make the cut.
Author mark1210 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Just a follow up to my original post. At 11:15P yesterday she sent me a text message stating: "Sorry I didn't call, Call me if you are still awake =). I do hope you had a good day, talk with you tomorrow. =)" Does this change anything? Should I call her tomorrow or let her sweat it out until its closer to the evening tomorrow or just tell her she waited too long? Thanks
snoop_dawg22 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 I don't think she's that intrested in you. She would of called instead of txt you. But maybe she has her reasons though. Also I think she wants you to chase her. By her saying call me if you're still awake, heck she could of called you. Just my 2 cents.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by snoop_dawg22 I don't think she's that intrested in you. She would of called instead of txt you. By her saying call me if you're still awake, heck she could of called you. She texted so as not to wake him up - she was being polite! I'd call back the next morning saying "sorry, didn't get your text until too late... have made other plans, but would love to hook up next week sometime". Tease her for having little to do, but still forgetting to ring. Ask her in a jokey way if she ever loses children. Say you wouldn't want to be a parent on one of her zoo trips. If she's still laughing, ask if she ever took a penguin home one time instead of a child... and did the parents notice the difference?
snoop_dawg22 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 True she probably didn't want to wake him but she was already making contact so she could of called. Plus she told him that she was going to anyway. I've done this before and I think she is game playing. I would purposely not call just to see if the other party will call. When she noticed that he didn't contact her she txt apologizing. I still think that she wants him to chase her. Like I said just my 2 cents.
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by snoop_dawg22 I've done this before and I think she is game playing. I think you're probably right. When she noticed that he didn't contact her she txt apologizing. Maybe... I'd still be tempted to reply out of politeness. But not to go tonight.
Author mark1210 Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Well I kinda figured it was probably a game or test to see if I would reach out and call first. So is it a good thing I didn't call her? I didn't want to come across as desperate and I think calling would have given her that appearance. Mind games suck! =(
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by mark1210 So is it a good thing I didn't call her? I didn't want to come across as desperate and I think calling would have given her that appearance. Mind games suck! =( Calling her back straight away, maybe. Although I would have done this, but said I already had plans. Calling her back today is just politeness. You are already being firm by having made other plans.
snoop_dawg22 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Did you call her yet? I agree w/ RR when he said to call back and say you got the txt late and that other plans have been made. If she sounds genuinely disappointed then try to set something up for next weekend or maybe she'll try to hang out with you sometime sooner, if she's intrested. Yeah mind games suck!
Cecelius Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by curiousnycgirl Is there a reason you can't call her to follow up? Could be she got busy and/or caught up in whatever she was doing and forgot. I seriously wouldn't assume she's not interested since she initiated by calling you to schedule tomorrow nite. It's her idea to go out a second time, so it's double bad that she forgot. Plus, a woman who is interested will not forget. Lastly, a man doesn't "confirm" his dates.
Guest Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Hi Mark, It sounds to me like you are not interested in her. If you were interested in her, why didn't you ask her out for a second date? She shouldn't have to do the asking Anyway, update us on whether you two went out with her or not how do you feel about her? Do you like her?
Author mark1210 Posted June 11, 2005 Author Posted June 11, 2005 Yes, this date did materialize, her delay was that she lost track of time so she says. She thought a text message was less likely to wake me than her calling so she went for the text message. The date itself was tons of fun, $75.00 worth of drinks just between us two, so we were drinking pretty good quantities there. Watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith (dumb movie btw) and talked. I held her hand at the movie and at the end of the date I walked her to her apartment door and proceeded to kiss her. I think I may have over done the kissing bit personally. I just couldn't stop lol, it was 3 kisses. She already wants to go out with me today, she told me she could play the game of waiting a few days but she doesn't play games. She says "if I really like someone and they really like me, there is no point in waiting for some dumb rule". I dunno..tempting to go back out with her tonight but I'm debating it. I don't want her to think she is my only means of fun and entertainment.
Guest Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 whoa $75 in drinks seems a bit much.... if you decide to go out with her tonite i would do something that doesn't involve drinking. but i would really wait and give this some thought to whether you want to see her again or not....and call her next week. it definitely sounds like she is interested...but i still feel that you are not interested in her. take time away to think about it. why do you keep going out with her if your not interested? It sounds like she is the one in control here. Are you sure you don't need some time to get away and think about how you feel? i mean you did spend 75 getting drunk with each other...not exactly smart in my opinion.
johan Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 Originally posted by mark1210 I don't want her to think she is my only means of fun and entertainment. Why would she think that? And why do you think she would care? I do see the need to not move too fast, and that should be your motive. Doing things or not because of what you think she might think is a bad way to start/run a relationship. You'll be playing games soon. And you'll be bummed out when they don't work.
Mary3 Posted June 12, 2005 Posted June 12, 2005 Wow 75.00 for drinks ? I would have rented a blockbuster movie and bought some wine coolers...could have done the whole thing for $ 10.00..lol... Next time see if she is a lush and wants to do some heavy drinking again ....if she does , then offer her the blockbuster nite
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by johan I do see the need to not move too fast, and that should be your motive. Doing things or not because of what you think she might think is a bad way to start/run a relationship. My thoughts exactly. Don't make her the centre of your life and don't move too fast. But don't play games and put on an act for her either - if you're free go for it! But then try to pace the dates after.
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