Wife sexting for 7 months + more.. how to proceed?

[spanz1]

Cheating with witnesses around speaks to a certain level of comfort with cheating. It's not something a novice cheater does.

 

 

it also says she has very toxic friends! Sounds like "ladies night out" was for finding men to screw!

 

 

but before you bail on her, try to find out more. maybe the counselor can figure out why she did it.

 

 

for instance, she might be alcoholic, and when drunk loses all inhibition and common sense. If so, get her to AA classes.

 

 

maybe her friends do drugs, like cocaine, that make her sexy/wild and remove her inhibitions. In this case abandoning her old friends would be required for a big change to happen.

 

 

At this point though it could go both ways, so MAKE SURE she does not get pregnant!

[TX-SC]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their input.

 

To answer ShatteredLady, it was two different men. And the one in October was a friend of a friend.

 

Update: After reading all of the posts, speaking with family and close friends, I've made my decision and I'm going through with seperation and divorce. I've already made the necessary steps of opening up my own account and taking half. I'm hoping she will be civil about this, but I highly doubt it. So I have made necessary precautions to protect myself.

 

Currently she is staying with a girlfriend tonight and I'm at home. She will be home in the morning, which will probably be the time to break the news.

 

On a side note, she left me a hand written letter stating how sorry she is, blah, blah, blah. If she really wanted to reconcile, these words would have been said the other night when I confronted her. The fact that she needed the time to think of what to say doesn't sit right with me and gives me more of a reason to just get out while I can.

 

I'm going to stand strong, respect myself and my decision.

 

Stay strong. Be one of the smarter ones here on this foruum and dump her sorry ass and move on with your life. She simply isn't capable of being monogamous.

[aliveagain]

Stay strong this morning, do what's best for you. The other thing to remember is that some of these people you thought were friends weren't friends of your marriage. They must of seen what was going on between your wife and the one night stand guy yet did nothing to stop them or talk sense into her. She must have ended up at one of their houses to do her dirty deeds with him. The sexting guy was exchanging 35 emails/texts per day with your wife for over 7 months and she had no problem setting up a sex date with him for your next business trip out of town. If any of these guys are married or in a relationship their spouses should be told about their hook ups. Don't forget to get tested for STD's, talk to a lawyer.

[bubbaganoosh]

There comes a point in time where you have to think of yourself first and everything else second including her.

 

One time cheating is bad enough but twice is the end. Not to mention that her apology seems very hollow and not too convincing.

 

I think you made the right choice but what ever you do, stick to your guns and never let her try to hang the blame on you. This was her choice to make and now she has to live with it.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Adam, I am sorry that you find yourself in such a difficult place. Many posters have given you excellent advice on how to handle your situation and quite frankly, kudos to you for your decision inspite of the pain you must be feeling right now. If you have close family living in the vicinity take emotional refuge in their company. However as others have said dig down deep to find the strength and courage to face the situation ahead of you with grace and dignity. Your wife has proved herself to be unfit to be a wife whether she is married to you or anyone else. She needs to first discover the reasons for her infidelity and remedy them before she even thinks of marrying again. Of course once you are divorced from her she is no more your concern.

Take care of yourself in the days ahead and be prepared for a tornado to hit you. However, having read your posts I get the feeling that you are strong both mentally and emotionally and will be able to weather the rough times ahead with equanimity. All the very best to you!

Edited February 16, 2016 by Just a Guy

[thummper]

Adam, have you dropped the "bomb" yet, and if you have, how did she react?

[adamj854]

Update: I did drop the bomb and it scared her to death. She tried to reconcile and be an open book while crying her eyes out. We separated and I agreed to go see a therapist on her dime. In the end, it didn't work out as I suspected since I've lost all hope and trust. I've realized that she was manipulative and just using me as a doormat. Anyways, we are divorced.

[Marc878]

Good for you. Lose a cheater and gain a life.

 

If everything is settled/over block her on everything and don't look back. There's nothing there.

[Superchicken]

Just read your first post.

all I can say is ..

 

 

YES, YES, YES. Well freakin done !.

Hurray, I'm glad no Therapist changed your mind, as the things she did.. Jesus, its happened to you, and I'm getting angry here now !.

 

 

Your one strong, and smart bloke. For others in the same situation, READ HIS POST !.

 

 

Wow, you made me lay an egg !. I tell you no yoke.

 

 

Ted.

[Jersey born raised]

Thank you for the update. Really big thank you. So many posters just vanish without saying a word leaving one hopeful for them but sure they chose to just quit and give up in despair.

 

Why did you comeback? What made you decide to keep on the path to divorce?

[40somethingGuy]

Update: I did drop the bomb and it scared her to death. She tried to reconcile and be an open book while crying her eyes out. We separated and I agreed to go see a therapist on her dime. In the end, it didn't work out as I suspected since I've lost all hope and trust. I've realized that she was manipulative and just using me as a doormat. Anyways, we are divorced.

 

Can you let on a little in the process it took as far as her trying to reconcile? What did she say or do? Did she do something else that violated you again?