I think I may have been lied to by a friend about a life threatening illness...

[Superdad1927]

A close friend of mine has been suffering from a life threatening illness for over 7 months. I have reason to believe that I have been lied to......

 

I have confronted the person via text and the response was typical of someone who was stringing me along.

 

Advice please.

 

Listed below is what I know

I was originally told they had a car accident and had a bleed on the brain which meant they needed 3 major surgical procedures in a week, I 100% believed this however saw no physical injuries or her hair being shaved.

 

A month later she was allegedly diagnosed with bowel cancer which had already spread to the breast and lung, again she ad more surgery including a double mastectomy. Once again no physical changes and still signs of breasts.

 

The others things which followed included septecimia, pneumonia twice, lost sight which came back, a brain tumour removed (again no scars on hair shaved) several infections where she was resuscitated 4 times (i've since read cpr isn't effective on terminally ill cancer patients). A couple of months ago it had spread to all vital organs and bones.

 

Her chemo treatment was sporadic and never lost her hair (continuing to hair lash extension) she never stopped driving which I believe you should following the sight and brain tumour.

 

I was told in July she had 3-6 months and again in December only weeks left, I

spoke to her last week and was told she was back in work 2 days a week and moved out of her home to live alone and reiterated she didn't have long left.

 

Finally I have always asked to speak to her mum and best friend to help me though, as none of my family including my wife believed her so times I've found it hard, she always made excuses about contacting them and became panicked when I had her mums landline number.

I contacted her friend on Facebook last week regarding her illness and received an abusive text to which I implied she had lied to me about her illness and all I got back was great text, thanks.

 

Sorry my message is so long but these are a few of the examples.

[RRM321]

What is it you have invested into this person's life that makes this question so important - a relationship, affair, sex, or money?

 

How is it you know the long list of diagnoses and procedures but, have never transported, or accompanied this patient to treatments or cared for them at home?

 

Is this someone you know only online?

[Superdad1927]

What is it you have invested into this person's life that makes this question so important - a relationship, affair, sex, or money?

 

How is it you know the long list of diagnoses and procedures but, have never transported, or accompanied this patient to treatments or cared for them at home?

 

Is this someone you know only online?

 

A year long relationship.

 

She told me about the long list of procedures. I have never transported , accompanied the patient to treatments or seen them at home.

[RRM321]

A year long relationship.

 

She told me about the long list of procedures. I have never transported , accompanied the patient to treatments or seen them at home.

 

How is this relationship conducted? Do you meet in person?

[Superdad1927]

How is this relationship conducted? Do you meet in person?

 

Yes, in person for 8 hours a day about twice a month

[preraph]

Hypochondriacs lie for attention. You can surely tell if her boobs are real or not, though some of those "chicken breast" falsies feel real. She can't have had brain surgery and kept her hair. Not everyone loses their hair to chemo. If she had a bleed in her brain, it's unlikely all these other procedures would have been done because it might be too dangerous to put her under, I'm thinking.

 

Why not just do the slow fade on her. You won't be able to make her confess or fix her if she's that mental.

[Superdad1927]

She and I no longer speak and she is back in work 2 days a week, has moved over into her own place and has met a new guy.

 

I'm delighted that she has moved forward, however ,considering all that's gone on, I am shocked that I could have been so manipulated, infact if this is true (that she has lied ) then it's horrific.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

She sounds crazy. Honestly if things don't seem to add up...it's usually bc it's not right. Let the friendship go and leave her be.

[RRM321]

Yes, in person for 8 hours a day about twice a month

 

This is a co-worker and a friend?

 

What have you lost, sacrificed, or risked that makes the lie particularly damaging to you?

 

I'm not minimizing the lie, I'm just trying to understand it's significance?

[preraph]

It's dishonest and sick and manipulative.

[Superdad1927]

We were having sex now and again, she wanted me to end my marriage...

 

I known it's weird that I didn't click.

[TheArtist]

It is all a bit strange, but the part that gets me is that if she's terminal, why in the name of all that's holy does she work 2 days a week?! I remember when people wanted to swim with dolphins, not make sure their filing is done.

 

I'd just keep out of it all.

[dreamingoftigers]

I had a friend that faked cancer.

 

It is a VERY messed up. She was a pathological liar long before that too.

 

Even got a scholarship because of it and was VERY selective about who could come to the ceremony. As in, NOT her parents and we better not talk to them about it either.

[RRM321]

We were having sex now and again, she wanted me to end my marriage...

 

I known it's weird that I didn't click.

 

That's the missing information, now it makes sense to me.

 

I think you may have volunteered to be deceived. I don't disagree there was a twisted level of deception but, it sounds like you had your skeptical sensors turned off for a while.

[Superdad1927]

Would you contact her mum to tell her what her daughter has done, or is it best to leave it, I guess that would be what she wants x