iphone_user1 Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 A week ago I met a cool girl, we did get along pretty well and everything. So I was considering going into a FWB relationship, but then, in one of our convos, she told she was very emotional and sentimental. So when I got home I was thinking if she was gonna be able to handle her emotions and didn't get attached too fast since she's a person like the title says. So I wouldn't like to hurt her cause she's really nice. She may say yes, but she's young and probably doesn't know what to expect or how to handle a situation like this. Should stay away and save myself future problems? 1
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 A week ago I met a cool girl, we did get along pretty well and everything. So I was considering going into a FWB relationship, but then, in one of our convos, she told she was very emotional and sentimental. So when I got home I was thinking if she was gonna be able to handle her emotions and didn't get attached too fast since she's a person like the title says. So I wouldn't like to hurt her cause she's really nice. She may say yes, but she's young and probably doesn't know what to expect or how to handle a situation like this. Should stay away and save myself future problems? Probably. Though, why just be FWBs, why not BF/GF? Glad you're actually giving this some thought instead of jumping right in. 2
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Snip Should stay away and save myself future problems? Be a gentleman, and stay away to save her future problems. 5
stillafool Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Should stay away and save myself future problems? Yes, get a more experienced girl to be your FWB. 3
Author iphone_user1 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Posted February 11, 2016 Probably. Though, why just be FWBs, why not BF/GF? Glad you're actually giving this some thought instead of jumping right in. Because I'm a not mushy at all and I think we wouldn't match as a couple. Besides she's very young (20) I am almost 26 and sometimes she sounds very immature and idealistic, like she must experience a lot more things and see how the real world is, not only in love relationships but in general. 1
losangelena Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Because I'm a not mushy at all and I think we wouldn't match as a couple. Besides she's very young (20) I am almost 26 and sometimes she sounds very immature and idealistic, like she must experience a lot more things and see how the real world is, not only in love relationships but in general. If I were you I'd take a hard pass. 5
Yankee99 Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 No. I managed to pull this off over last spring and summer because the girl was very busy (single parent) and had limited free time. She also new she was leaving the state and there was a set date on that. We liked each other very much but knew it could never grow into a relationship just due to the circumstances. FWB fills the void by the way and is nice in a lot of ways, but it doesn't replace the desire for a real relationship. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 While this girl may want to date you, the way you have described her psychiatric profile tells me she would not be a good candidate for a FWB encounter. She wants more. You don't. It would be wrong of you to use her so don't. 2
Lorenza Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Ok so one more time: Can a young and immature girl, who on top of that is very sensitive, emotional, idealistic and haven't yet experienced how neither life nor love works, be a good material for a detached, no-feelings-involved sexual relationship with a guy who is more experienced and not interested in her as a girlfriend? Really OP? Do you not realise yourself that she is NOT a good material for a fwb? 2
RecentChange Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) No. FWB situations take a special mentality for it to work well. First, both need to talk and agree - sex only, no emotions getting involved. Boundaries established, rules set - in mine, usually it was agreed that either could end it at any point, no questions asked - could she handle that?. She needs to know how to keep her walls up and emotions in check. Even AFTER sex induced hormones encroage otherwise. I love FWB situations, but I compartmentalize, I keep sex and emotions separate. It's very deliberate on my part, and take a bit of work. This takes maturity and being "wired" a certain way. This girl is NOT FWB material, and in my experience, despite their instance that they can sperate sex from emotion, a lot of men find FWB situations difficult as well. Not a game for the emotional and sentimental. But rather the emotionally distant and horny Edited February 11, 2016 by RecentChange 2
Author iphone_user1 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Posted February 11, 2016 Thank you all. I'll pass. I'll have her as an acquaintance for now since she's really fun to hang out with. Let's see how she does in the next few years... Of course I'm not gonna sit and wait LOL.
jen1447 Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Just to note - not all ppl who do well at FB or FWB are emotionless drones. It's just that being emotional and lack of maturity can be a really toxic combination with casual sex. 3
lana-banana Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Jen's post is spot-on. Plenty of deeply emotional, sentimental people are perfectly fine with FWB arrangements; spend five minutes in a hippie city and you'll see lots of girls wailing over crushed flowers that would never want to be confined by a boyfriend. The bigger issue is her age. She's super young and you're quite a bit older. The difference between 20 and 26 is night and day. I would avoid it in this case because it's more likely than not to end in a lot of miscommunication, confusion and hurt feelings.
joseb Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Thank you all. I'll pass. I'll have her as an acquaintance for now since she's really fun to hang out with. Let's see how she does in the next few years... Of course I'm not gonna sit and wait LOL. Young immature girls are poor candidates for FB relationships. You need someone with experience who knows they are not looking for a traditional relationship (not someone saying 'i'm not sure what I want', etc). Not many women(people?) are good candidates tbh.
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