Author VengeanceGuidesMe Posted February 12, 2016 Author Posted February 12, 2016 Oh and sorry popsicle! I didn't know it was a joke. I must have forgot something I wrote in my original post Heh, I can be such a dick at times.
PegNosePete Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Yes, she does it solely for the attention she is receiving. She claims it's not sexual attention Then why do the topless ones? She gets just as much attention and confidence whether her top is on or off, right? What she's saying doesn't seem to add up, to me. I think if I told her to stop or I am leaving, I think she would stop. Yes, but ultimatums rarely work when phrased like that, it will come back around to bite you in the ass one day. If you say it that way, you will seem jealous and controlling. Better: "It's totally up to you whether you do this or not. It's your body, your life, and your choice. But I am also free, and I am not OK dating a woman who takes her top off in front of another dude for sexual excitement/attention/titillation" Or as an alternative, tell her you would love to learn photography and for her to model topless for you. You can get a decent SLR, tripod and backgrounds pretty cheap these days. She should get all her exhibitionist/attention needs fulfilled by that, right, and thus not need to get her kit off for other dudes?
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 She told you she's always been "a topless exhibitionist." I can understand your feelings, but really, what is so bad about that? She thinks it's fun! I don't think it's immoral. It's harmless and doesn't mean at all that she's going to do anything sleazy. That's my opinion about it. But if it really bugs YOU then it probably won't work. You can't control her, and it would be wrong for you begin to resent her for it. Is there any way you can get okay with it, for real? How much do you like her?
jen1447 Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Couple things. First of all this - If she was any good at what she does she'd be getting paid to do it. Usually the ones who need to take their clothes off are the ones who lack what the others who don't need to get nude possess. But she's not even getting paid. - is spot on. My GF is an actual model (no, not Victoria's Secret or 'big time' at all, just a local who usually works w/a specific photog for swimsuit ads), and she gets paid. It's a regular job-job type job. Nothing shady or weird about it at all. If your GF was the same she'd get paid too, but she isn't, so sth isn't right. (If that's what she likes, fine, like RR said above, but it sounds like she's misrepresenting it to you w/this faux notion of legitimacy.) The other thing is don't go to a shoot. That's like BFs of strippers who go to the bars they work at - always ends up in a fight bc they can't deal. So don't go. 1
Versacehottie Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 I agree with Jen about the paid portion. This is more like a hobby under the guise of modeling to boost her ego. Fair enough. I also agree about going to the shoot. I think it's admirable what your gf has offered up to make you comfortable and come to a compromise with you. That said, since you will never be able to control what other guys think about or do with her photos (clothed or unclothed), it is a moot point to do that. I do get the sense that you are trying to get a general vibe as to what the one that takes the topless pics is like. Maybe you sincerely think it will be a "one time thing" to get you to sign off on it. What if you feel on the fence about him? My point is that you will never be able to control every little nuance of her "taking photos" interactions. I also think that at some point it might bother you if she is taking provocative but clothed photos and that applies to WHOEVER is taking the photos--those can be just as sexy/more so. The real question is whether you agree with her stance on wanting to do this hobby. I think you said in one of your first posts what your real judgement on things like this is (not so positive) and your position on that as well as the nudity aspect on this are really what you need to address and analyze. It kind of sounds like you yourself on are on the fence because then when some of the other posters brought up some opinions on your gf's photo taking/nudity, you came to her defense and to the defense of the idea of it. So it sounds like a bit of an internal struggle (which I can totally understand). The real answer to this dilemma is 100% within you. 1
pteromom Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Modeling as a hobby is a legitimate thing. Go on MM and you'll see a ton of girls who just love modeling - whether or not they are paid. It is fun to model. You feel beautiful doing it, and you get beautiful photos of yourself too. Whether they do nudes or not depends on their comfort levels with being nude. Obviously your gf doesn't see a big deal in being topless. When it comes to photographers, there are 2 kinds. There are the legitimate photographers, who may still only be hobbyists, but who are interested in making artistic photos (nude or not.) Then there are the GWCs (Guys With Cameras), who just want to be around hot girls and try to be laid. It actually isn't that difficult to tell them apart - look at their portfolios! Is the quality good? Do they put a lot of work into making a perfect photo, or are they just taking snapshots of hot naked chicks? As far as boyfriends tagging along on photo shoots, this is a no-no and is considered very unprofessional. NOT because the guys are trying to get laid (again, we are talking about real photographers, not GWCs) but because the boyfriends are distractions and sometimes have the nerve to start trying to direct a photo shoot. The boyfriends sit there looking jealous and insecure, and the whole situation is awkward. Sucks all the fun out of modeling - as a paid profession or as a hobby. So what does this mean for you? - You can ask your gf to stop doing topless shots, or stop working with the photographer who wants her to be topless... but know that it makes you look insecure and jealous. And you have to decide how to proceed if she says no. - You can trust your girlfriend enough to know that even if one of these guys makes a move on her, she will reject them. - You can realize that you have different perspective when it comes to being topless, and make a choice as to whether you can accept her perspective and move forward, or not accept it and move on. 2
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