Modelling

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

My gf really enjoys being in front of a camera. She is an amateur model (i.e. she's not making any loot from it, and she doesn't really do much with the pictures but save them or send to friends/other photographers. If either her or the photographer make money with the photos, they are to share the profit 50/50) and she's a performer of sorts (all amatuer, but she likes to sing, show choir, theater since high school and does them in free social groups now).

 

The thing is, most of the pictures are fine, her being cute/sexy with clothes. A couple racey good ones I've seen. Then she was going through them the other day and she had dozens of topless ones. She says that's as far as she goes. She also told me, she really likes following instructions and pleasing the photographers but they are professional.

 

The thing I see it is, none of these people are professional photographers or making money in real life with any of these photos. I see no reason for her to please other camera toting men by taking off her shirt any longer. Is this a jealousy thing? Or is it reasonable for me? She said she might have a hard time conforming to this, as she has always been a topless exhibitionist and she enjoys taking such photos but they aren't sexual or sent to any men, and the photographers are professional and respectful and it's not about 'pleasing them' (but that's what she said she liked earlier, so now I'm confused) but about her being a free spirit and doing what she enjoys uninhibited.

 

I told her it makes me highly uncomfortable, but (as she has always stated, I'm always invited to watch) I think I will give it a shot and go with her to one and see if I can tolerate it. I told her if I can't, I would break up with her for it, and she said that I don't need to do that, that I can just say not to do topless photos anymore. (but then why did she say she wasn't sure if she couldn't handle not being able to do that?)

 

Any advice LS?

[SSJROMANCE]

And when the photographer tells her he can get her into movies if she has sex with him is she going to please him then?

[PegNosePete]

is it reasonable for me?

Well, the last 2 words are what's important. It doesn't matter if it's reasonable to me or to anyone else on here. Is it reasonable to you?

 

Personally I would not want my gf taking her top off for anyone.

 

they aren't sexual or sent to any men

she doesn't really do much with the pictures but save them or send to friends/other photographers.

Confused - which is it? Both can't be true. The photos are either given to other people, or they aren't. If they are given to other people then they may end up being distributed a lot more widely than she knows/wants.

 

Yeah, she does seem to be giving you mixed messages here. I think you need to play it by ear. First, decide if you can handle her doing this or not. If not, tell her, and see if she chooses to stop.

[MightyPen]

No offense, but she sounds like she feeds off attention (from men).

 

You need to figure out if you can deal with that. I would think it would be difficult, especially the topless stuff. Good luck, man.

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

Well, the last 2 words are what's important. It doesn't matter if it's reasonable to me or to anyone else on here. Is it reasonable to you?

 

Personally I would not want my gf taking her top off for anyone.

 

 

 

Confused - which is it? Both can't be true. The photos are either given to other people, or they aren't. If they are given to other people then they may end up being distributed a lot more widely than she knows/wants.

 

Yeah, she does seem to be giving you mixed messages here. I think you need to play it by ear. First, decide if you can handle her doing this or not. If not, tell her, and see if she chooses to stop.

 

She sends the clothed pictures to friends/other photographers. A bunch of them are really cool/artistic. Most of them are like senior pictures. Those are the ones she sends.

 

The ones of her topless do not get sent.

 

 

Yes, I see that she does feed off the attention of other men and that is what I told her. That she needs to worry about pleasing one man, me. That I don't give a **** if these guys are pleased or not, if she needs to be topless for pictures, I can buy a 600 dollar DSLR and take her topless photos and they can deal with clothed ones only.

 

I don't see why that's not a good compromise.

 

 

 

The movies/sex comment- these dudes are OLD MEN. I mean one is a 300 lb 60 year old, one is an amputee 80 year old. I met the youngest one and his wife and he was into bondage and **** and he's super respectful. I've talked to him and he doesn't make any sexually misplaced comments about my gf. They also have no contacts to make such a claim AND I trust my gf not to cheat on me.

 

However, I find the need to please other men by taking off your top to be really insecure and a character trait that bothers me. That's when she brought up that she doesn't do it for them feeling satisfied but for her feeling of being free and 'acting/performing' and the attention one receives from performance.

 

Just wondered if I was being overly jealous of this or not since these dudes aren't touching her breasts, never have, and never will. They just get to take the pictures in a manner which is professional (why I will be attending the next few shoots to ensure they are indeed, professional).

[elaine567]

I guess she really wants to break into the glamour model circuit or entertainment industry and these men are probably offering contacts and incentives to allow her to do that.

How genuine those contacts are, is questionable though.

Many aspiring actresses have been embarrassed by saucy pics pulled from their past, so she needs to be careful and not get carried away.

[TheBathWater]

This doesn't sound good to me at all. She started taking her top off for other men without telling you about it prior, and then she rationalized it as being in the name of art. So you have a liar on your hands a well.

 

She does sound attention-seeking and is starting to use her sexuality more as a currency for this outside of your relationship. I don't know how you feel about being with a woman (I'm guessing a young woman too) who behaves this way, but I don't think I could tolerate being in a relationship with someone like that.

[amaysngrace]

If she was any good at what she does she'd be getting paid to do it.

 

Usually the ones who need to take their clothes off are the ones who lack what the others who don't need to get nude possess.

 

But she's not even getting paid.

[Versacehottie]

No offense, but she sounds like she feeds off attention (from men).

 

You need to figure out if you can deal with that. I would think it would be difficult, especially the topless stuff. Good luck, man.

 

Yeah, I agree with a lot of what has been said. I usually think sometimes guys who write about this kind of stuff on here actually have a particularly jealous side. I think you are being reasonable though and a slight jealousy--or really are at an impasse with her choices in life. That happens sometimes.

 

I think she is fooling herself and/or actually enjoys it and doesn't care that posing topless in amateur photos won't lead anywhere. If she takes hot enough photos and they lead up to a professional entity asking her to pose like that for sports illustrated swimsuit edition, for example, maybe THAT is the time to tell her you would reconsider it. The rest of the stuff is unnecessary and she should actually research some of the careers of real models she admires--most of them don't do topless until they are famous models/know in the modeling world and THEN only if the "reveal" itself is with a famous photographer, in a known publication. If she is revealing beforehand with amateur photogs, she is actually limiting how far or professionally she can take her modeling career.

[salparadise]

I can tell you exactly what's going on here. There is a whole weird sub-culture of shutterbugs (aka sleezy camera nuts) and amateur models. It's all obsession-delusion and the motivation is sexual titillation. Nobody has ever made a dime off of any legitimate sale of these photographs. There is no market beyond the shutterbugs being willing to pay pocket change for the models to pose, or to shoot nudies and sell them to the model as a vanity thing (like glamor shots). The shutterbugs are typically filthy old men who can't get laid, but are obsessed with sex, fresh young girls, and photo gadgets. There are model websites where these photographs are displayed and models and shutterbugs can connect. Here's a link to one of those modeling sites, and the unfortunate story of an incident involving one photographer and model that turned tragic.

[Popsicle]

We have a poster here named Goldpile. He can let your model GF take topless pictures at his mansion.

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

This doesn't sound good to me at all. She started taking her top off for other men without telling you about it prior, and then she rationalized it as being in the name of art. So you have a liar on your hands a well.

 

She does sound attention-seeking and is starting to use her sexuality more as a currency for this outside of your relationship. I don't know how you feel about being with a woman (I'm guessing a young woman too) who behaves this way, but I don't think I could tolerate being in a relationship with someone like that.

 

She did not lie to me about anything or start doing this behind my back. She told me she liked to model, liked the attention of the camera and it gave her her confidence back after her divorce. She says she likes to see her photos and see that she's attractive.

 

Most of the pictures are not topless. She has only done one, which I was aware of before hand, and I like the photo, but I also know the photographer. It was very artsy. The set I saw of just topless ones were when I got bothered. Those are from her past, before us.

 

She as admitted to liking the attention and that it's not because it's a mans attention, but she likes to be the camera's attention, the crowds attention, etc. She likes performing.

 

If she was any good at what she does she'd be getting paid to do it.

 

Usually the ones who need to take their clothes off are the ones who lack what the others who don't need to get nude possess.

 

But she's not even getting paid.

 

 

Yeah, I agree with a lot of what has been said. I usually think sometimes guys who write about this kind of stuff on here actually have a particularly jealous side. I think you are being reasonable though and a slight jealousy--or really are at an impasse with her choices in life. That happens sometimes.

 

I think she is fooling herself and/or actually enjoys it and doesn't care that posing topless in amateur photos won't lead anywhere. If she takes hot enough photos and they lead up to a professional entity asking her to pose like that for sports illustrated swimsuit edition, for example, maybe THAT is the time to tell her you would reconsider it. The rest of the stuff is unnecessary and she should actually research some of the careers of real models she admires--most of them don't do topless until they are famous models/know in the modeling world and THEN only if the "reveal" itself is with a famous photographer, in a known publication. If she is revealing beforehand with amateur photogs, she is actually limiting how far or professionally she can take her modeling career.

 

I agree with both you. I question the validity of his professionalism. However, I have seen his website and he has several female models taking such photos and he has won awards, just not with her photos.

 

I am concerned he's some greasy sweat ball wanking it to my gf or that she gets excited from some weirdo's sexual interest. We talked about it yesterday and she says it's not like that. She really encourages me to come with her. She also messaged the guy telling him "I really like this one, so he's going to come along and see what he is comfortable with. I want to make sure he's comfortable with everything we do or we won't do it".

 

The thing is though I have a hard time understanding doing this if she's not getting paid, but she also has told me that she is a huge exhibitionist and has always been. When she was in her early 20s, she just would hangout with her friends and be topless. That she likes the feeling of the sun on her and stuff.

 

In reality, I think there are a lot of rigid view points as seen with the comment below. The truth is that it's her body to do with what she pleases, and I really don't care about the thought of someone seeing her tits. It's really about the motives behind it- Is she getting joy from another man's sexual interest. She says no, but I'm going to go see the nature of this man's professionalism before I decide if I can or can not deal.

 

We have a poster here named Goldpile. He can let your model GF take topless pictures at his mansion.

 

This post is not helpful. You are one of the most bitter people sometimes popsicle. Sometimes I like your views, other times they seem spiteful and inspired by bourbon. Goldpile could if I were there and he were professional and used those photos in contests or tried to sell them. If he were disrespectful or jerking off next to his butler to photos of my gf, I'd be perturbed and not let him take photos of her again.

[mrs rubble]

I don't have a problem with topless or nude modelling at all. It's the pose or state of semi dress/props than can turn a beautiful tasteful shot of the human body into trashy porn.

I wish the world would start to accept the natural human form as the beautiful and natural creation it is. If these photographers are achieving that and you trust them and your girlfriend. I see absolutely no harm in it.

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

I don't have a problem with topless or nude modelling at all. It's the pose or state of semi dress/props than can turn a beautiful tasteful shot of the human body into trashy porn.

I wish the world would start to accept the natural human form as the beautiful and natural creation it is. If these photographers are achieving that and you trust them and your girlfriend. I see absolutely no harm in it.

 

Thank you.

 

It really does boil down to that. I didn't know until I talked it out with her and posted some here and read it.

 

I think I can handle it so long as she isn't serving some sexual satisfaction to these guys or she is getting jollies from them being sexually hot for her (which she said is absolutely not the case, even if she is an attention whore. She likes non-sexual attention and just has no issues being topless)

 

So meh, We left it as "I'm uncomfortable with it, but I'll go to the next shoot and see how it is".

[stillafool]

Why would your gf want to be that type of model who takes her clothes off? Why doesn't she want to be a real professional model who models high fashion clothes on runways and magazines? I find what she is doing low class modeling and screams of someone who wants the wrong type of attention.

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

Why would your gf want to be that type of model who takes her clothes off? Why doesn't she want to be a real professional model who models high fashion clothes on runways and magazines? I find what she is doing low class modeling and screams of someone who wants the wrong type of attention.

 

She rarely takes her clothes off. Why do people continue to read selectively? The majority of her shoots are fulllllly clothed. Sweaters, skirts, pants, t shirts, dresses. Sometimes they become a bit more sexy and I really like them. There are just some where she likes to be topless and that is it. She said herself that she is uncomfortable with any more than that. There are no bottomless shots or anything along that line.

 

The thing about understanding others is thinking outside how you think. My view on a woman being topless is generations of patriarchy telling us that we own our girlfriends. It really is not a big deal to be topless in other cultures- Look at those countries that are still living more of a tribal life style- women sit around topless just like dudes. Look at cultures like France and Germany where topless/nudist parks and beaches exist.

 

I have issues with the nature of that attention, however. As you indicated in your response, but just because I have a jealous and uncomfortable feeling, it doesn't mean it's true. That's why I am going with her, so I can make judgement if it is truly a respectful and professional atmosphere or if it's some dirty fat man trying to collect nudes of my gf.

[Gold Pile]

You're a guy, you know that most of these (confirmed non professionals) are doing what guys do...trying to get laid. Perhaps they often have to settle for just hot pics, but they want to score.

 

You haven't posted enough about her personality for us to guess her motives. If she is promiscuous by nature, she may consider these as erotic encounters. Or perhaps she just enjoys the attention from the cameraman and the future picture viewers. Finally, maybe she really hopes to be discovered as a model.

[Gold Pile]

Back in the film days, the old photographer ploy was the domain of guys geeky enough to understand fancy cameras and (more importantly) have a darkroom. Employees of commercial film developers were notorious for keeping copies of hot pictures.

 

The darkroom bit put me off the idea, but I do regret that I didn't pursue it. I had a friend who scored quite well with some very attractive women. He also scored very, very well with less than perfect women who were flattered that he considered them model material. Surely many (or most) would-be models posed only, but his picture collection of hot, half nude, posers were worth their weight in gold to a horny guy before the availability of the internet at home.

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

Back in the film days, the old photographer ploy was the domain of guys geeky enough to understand fancy cameras and (more importantly) have a darkroom. Employees of commercial film developers were notorious for keeping copies of hot pictures.

 

The darkroom bit put me off the idea, but I do regret that I didn't pursue it. I had a friend who scored quite well with some very attractive women. He also scored very, very well with less than perfect women who were flattered that he considered them model material. Surely many (or most) would-be models posed only, but his picture collection of hot, half nude, posers were worth their weight in gold to a horny guy before the availability of the internet at home.

 

Right. I don't want this guy wanking it to my gf like some pathetic perv and I want her to know that's what's going on.. if that is indeed what it is, and then put an end to it. Which is what we have discussed. However, he does have a very professional surface right now.

 

In terms of 'scoring', literally, he is a 60/70 year old fatty with no chance of seeing his dick before death. I really am not worried about her ****ing him or anything of that nature.

[VeveCakes]

FYI this isn't modelling - so please don't call it that

 

It's TFP - time for pics. Girls who want to model take their clothes off for pics and the guys build their portfolio (and their spank bank).

 

I worked in the industry for years - real models get paid. Real photogs don't ask you to take your top off unless it's required for the shoot. Also, theses pics will be laughed at by agents. She should hire a professional to take her pics ($$$), get a portfolio, and an agent. That's how you become an actual model.

[stillafool]

She rarely takes her clothes off. Why do people continue to read selectively? The majority of her shoots are fulllllly clothed. Sweaters, skirts, pants, t shirts, dresses. Sometimes they become a bit more sexy and I really like them. There are just some where she likes to be topless and that is it. She said herself that she is uncomfortable with any more than that. There are no bottomless shots or anything along that line.

 

The thing about understanding others is thinking outside how you think. My view on a woman being topless is generations of patriarchy telling us that we own our girlfriends. It really is not a big deal to be topless in other cultures- Look at those countries that are still living more of a tribal life style- women sit around topless just like dudes. Look at cultures like France and Germany where topless/nudist parks and beaches exist.

 

I have issues with the nature of that attention, however. As you indicated in your response, but just because I have a jealous and uncomfortable feeling, it doesn't mean it's true. That's why I am going with her, so I can make judgement if it is truly a respectful and professional atmosphere or if it's some dirty fat man trying to collect nudes of my gf.

 

I don't care that she likes to show her breasts off. That's her business but when it comes to modeling I would think most young women would want to be a high fashion model but perhaps as someone else said she may not qualify for that. Those models make the big bucks. I just think sexy shots for men to view are tacky and women who do this are looking for attention from males. Hey, but that's just me.

[Popsicle]

This post is not helpful. You are one of the most bitter people sometimes popsicle. Sometimes I like your views, other times they seem spiteful and inspired by bourbon. Goldpile could if I were there and he were professional and used those photos in contests or tried to sell them. If he were disrespectful or jerking off next to his butler to photos of my gf, I'd be perturbed and not let him take photos of her again.

 

That was a joke. And I thought your opening post was a joke too, but I guess it was not. I apologize.

[Versacehottie]

I agree with both you. I question the validity of his professionalism. However, I have seen his website and he has several female models taking such photos and he has won awards, just not with her photos.

 

I am concerned he's some greasy sweat ball wanking it to my gf or that she gets excited from some weirdo's sexual interest. We talked about it yesterday and she says it's not like that. She really encourages me to come with her. She also messaged the guy telling him "I really like this one, so he's going to come along and see what he is comfortable with. I want to make sure he's comfortable with everything we do or we won't do it".

 

The thing is though I have a hard time understanding doing this if she's not getting paid, but she also has told me that she is a huge exhibitionist and has always been. When she was in her early 20s, she just would hangout with her friends and be topless. That she likes the feeling of the sun on her and stuff.

 

In reality, I think there are a lot of rigid view points as seen with the comment below. The truth is that it's her body to do with what she pleases, and I really don't care about the thought of someone seeing her tits. It's really about the motives behind it- Is she getting joy from another man's sexual interest. She says no, but I'm going to go see the nature of this man's professionalism before I decide if I can or can not deal.

 

Yeah well, to me, it sounds like you are at an impasse with your values vs her values. You may be able to deal with it begrudgingly (which I understand). If she is not in her young 20s or younger (which it sounds like she isn't), there is no real chance for her to make it in modeling which inherently you must understand--thus has propelled you to understand the real motives behind wanting "modeling" photos taken this way. They sound more like vanity photos or a hobby--nothing wrong with that or she is overly hopeful and naive that she will be "discovered". But if you say she enjoys being an exhibitionist, she is probably not that naive or doesn't mind either way--the attention at any level is a high for her.

 

I think she has done her best to include you in her choice by asking you to come to the next shoot. I don't think she will or wants to stop doing what she is doing. I think unfortunately you are focusing your attention in the wrong place to want to vet this photog. Is he the only one she shoots with? If not, basically you will be trying to control or vet each person she comes into contact with as a matter of controlling her, which is jealousy or misplaced jealousy rearing its ugly head. Bottom line this is between you and her and what each of you is willing to compromise and accept about the other. I don't know the answer about that--only the two of you can decide what is right for each of you and you together. And make peace with it. Basically you are at one of the many forks in a road that is a relationship. Good luck.

[PegNosePete]

She rarely takes her clothes off. Why do people continue to read selectively?

They're not. They are focussing on the part you have a problem with. If she didn't take her clothes off then you'd be perfectly fine with her modelling, and you wouldn't have needed to create this thread, right?

 

Look at cultures like France and Germany where topless/nudist parks and beaches exist.

Yes, but context is everything. It is one thing to be topless on a beach where you're enjoying the freedom and lack of tan lines, or naked in a sauna where nudity is required for hygiene reasons (that's their belief, whether it's true or not is immaterial and is off topic). Couples, work colleagues and families regularly partake without issues.

 

But it's another matter entirely to take your top off with the sole purpose of sexually exciting someone, whether it's another man, a photographer, viewers, the "public", or just yourself. To me, that is a privilege that should be kept exclusively to your partner, and I would not be OK with a partner who does that.

Edited February 12, 2016 by PegNosePete

[VengeanceGuidesMe]

Everyone has good input here, and I guess I like to hear it.

 

And yea, she has 3 photographers, but only one does these topless shots. The others are always clothed.

 

And I understand and we have talked openly for 2 hours yesterday about it.

 

Yes, she does it solely for the attention she is receiving.

She claims it's not sexual attention, rather just the attention of the camera and being the performer. So yes, it is for the attention, not a naïve hope of becoming a discovered model.

 

She also claims she does them for herself. For her to feel beautiful and sexy. I told her that she shouldn't rely on extrinsic attention from random men for that and she told me it's not that. That she sees the photos of herself and gets more confidence.

 

I do not want to be controlling and jealous. I want her to make her decisions, and I want to see if I can be comfortable with this. I think if I told her to stop or I am leaving, I think she would stop. However, I'm balancing the line of being controlling versus demanding respect for me and our relationship. I was aware of the 'modelling' when we started dating, and aware of sexy shots. I just didn't know about the topless ones necessarily, but she did sort of tell me she likes to be an exhibitionist before we started dating.

 

I was okay with it.. until I get close. Now I'm less okay with her taking off her top for other dudes. I think if I have rational reasons to be uncomfortable and voice them after seeing the shoot, she would stop it for me.

 

Thanks everyone for the input.