Moremon Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 Hi all, Seeking some help, reassurance, guidence, anything that can help me through this demoralising period. We were together for 6 years and have a 16 month old child together, which is making things a lot harder for me. We see each other almost everyday as we share custody of our little one. Everytime i see her im reminded of how much i miss her. She ended it, beacause she's not in love with me no more! Its so hard to take, knowing that not that long ago she was besotted with me and worshiped the ground i walked on. I had a big part in the demise of the relationship as i never gave her the time she needed and was always concentrating on working hard to make money so we could have a more comfortable life and lost sight of the here and now. However i feel hard done by as we never really sat down and discussed our problems, the odd tongue and cheek comment was made but we never discussed things in depth and tried to put changes into action. Thats another point that makes it worse, i feel guilt and responsible for this and now the thought of not being with her is killing me. The breakup has been slowly happening for about a month, but only now im realising that its for good, i was in denial and hope of getting her back before now, i know that i have to let go of that to move on but its so hard to put that into practice. She seems to be coping and moving on far better and quicker than me which alsp hurts, she says she loves me but not in love anymore and it got to the point where she couldnt continue anymore. She's already got herself a new car and talked about getting her own place. Im constantly thinking of her, even dreaming of her, its affecting my work, im not eating and sleep is broken is everynight. There seems no escape from it. I know i need to stop it but i feel powerless to do so! Anyone going through or been through a similar situation who could provide any advice, help, comfort would be greatly appreciated. 1
Satu Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 In this situation you either adapt and swim, or fail to adapt and sink. Your circumstances have changed. You are now a single man who is also a father. You are looking into a big hole in your life where your girlfriend used to be. You need to fill that hole with new things that are good for you and your child. Pay attention to yourself. Do things that are good for you. Start here: Connect – connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships. Be active – you don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find an activity that you enjoy and make it a part of your life. Keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? Give to others – even the smallest act can count, whether it's a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing and help you build new social networks. Be mindful – be more aware of the present moment, including your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you. Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges. Source here. It can take some time to adapt to a new life situation, but you can do it, and you will. Take care.
Recommended Posts