BLF04 Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Me and my ex just broke up a month ago for the 2nd time in 3.5 yrs. She did it, but it was mutual in the way that we needed to our own thing for a while (were going to be seniors in college and ive wanted a break for months). She made it clear that she wanted to stay in touch and not say it was over. She has told me since the breakup that she still loves me (i still love her too). i bought concert tickets for both of us months ago when we were together. 2 days ago i told her we should go NC and that i cant take her to the concert. She was NOT happy. I did this bc i found out shes hangin w/ another dude who she tells me is nothing, i think its more behind my back... any who... is this the best strategy for us to work in the future? should i ask her to goto the concert again w/ little/ or NC until the concert? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Tell her you're taking some other girl to the concert. If you take your ex you might as well hand her your balls in a jar while you're at it. Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 I would not take her. You guys broke up over a month ago, I would go for the no contact thing and see how that works for you. I like what TanBark813 said. That is totally the truth. That is like opening the door to let her back in!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Yeah dude, make it a date (and not with her). My friend had the same problem, and it was just a couple days before the concert so he had an idea. He went out and introduced himself to 5 different girls (cute ones, too) and told them "Hi, I have two tickets to a concert I was going to go to with my girlfriend. We're not together anymore, and I need somebody to bring." He got 4 phone numbers from those 5 girls, and ended up having his pick of who to take to the concert - and he went out to dinner with one of the other girls. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen_Angel Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Why should you do her any favors? My best friend took his ex to a concert (one he was REALLY looking forward to) a few days after they broke up. He said her presence almost ruined the whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 I've done this too! I took an ex to the Theatre (to see something I had been dying to see) after we broke up and it was pure torture! I felt miserable the whole time, had to fight back tears and went home feeling like sticking my head in the oven! Another time I went see Tony Bennett (what a legend) with an ex and sat there with tears running down my face... it was just too grim for words. She's angry cos she's missing out - do yourself a favour and go with someone else so you can at least have a good time. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 My ex actually called me up and asked me to get some tickets to a concert (she couldn't get on line when they were going on sale) for us to go to in a month or so..... And me, like an idiot, bought them. Although I'd love to have her back - we are "just friends" now, and I'm sure that the experience is going to be a torture. But.... I don't want to just give her both the tickets -- that's almost worse, because she'll have a date to go with in no time! Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Why do people do this. My rule of thumb is, if you decide to stay friends after breaking up (which is debateble how well this ever works) then you never do anything alone as friends. You add other friends to the mix. Even then, not reccomended. Had a friend once, who's gf broke up with him, but they decided to stay friends. That last a whole 3 weeks. By the third week they went out to a club and his ex with some other guy were groping each other on the dance florr. Lets just say I hated waking up at 2:00 in the morning to bail my buddy out. Just because they have been part of your life for so many years months days, does not entitle you or them to be carried on like luggage. Relationships are not mortgages. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by BLF04 i bought concert tickets for both of us months ago when we were together. 2 days ago i told her we should go NC and that i cant take her to the concert. She was NOT happy. You bought the tickets = you decide who gets to go with you. Don't take her. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted June 10, 2005 Share Posted June 10, 2005 Yeah -- the whole "staying friends" thing is usually just a big facade for one or the other wanting to re-kindle things. I've never tried to do this before (either as the dumper or dumpee). Don't know why this is different. Something about how hard I fell for her, and something about how torn I think she is over the decision to break-up. Either way, it is pain -- in every sense. I mean, how much can I really talk to her about our lives? What -- discuss how things are going with her latest date? F-that! Link to post Share on other sites
BLF04 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 i havent talked to her since last week when i told her she isnt going w/ me. asking my friends its pretty much unanamous not to take her, but i still feel bad about it bc i think we would have a good time as weve been broken up before. i agree the whole "stayin friends" thing is a ploy to re-kindle things. said thing is, its both of us who where doing it until i told her off. i still plan not to take her unless i get different advice. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Originally posted by BLF04 i still plan not to take her unless i get different advice. You won't get it here, at least not from me. Link to post Share on other sites
BLF04 Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 well i spoke/saw my ex for the first time in a couple weeks. we hung w/ friends and got along pretty well w/ the exception of her asking who ive been w, etc... i do miss her after one month & i think she misses me too but prob has the impression she can get me back when she wants (happened before). i think we broke up before bc we grew apart at the end of the semester, arguing, etc... so if want us to work, do i... A. take her, maybe have a good time, spark up old feelings, maybe she'll remember the experience. B. not take her, maybe she'll get jealous of the other girl or despise me? which would be the better choice to get her back, concerts in 2 weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 B (Don't pussy out now) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Going with A = Your heart will ache. You're going to over analize anything and everything she says, looking for a sign of possibly getting back together or both of you will feel really uncomfortable. Going with B= Less pain, less worry, more fun by bringing a friend. So, I suggest sticking with plan B! Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Plan B Plan B Plan B If you guys are meant to work things out and get together, then what's the rush? You have your whole lives ahead of you - one concert ain't going to matter.... Force her hand by taking someone else and see if she does come back to you. By not taking her you are showing that you have moved on and become a stronger person.... chicks dig that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Go the concert and have a good time.......wtihout her. The last thing you need to do is bring her along with all your hopes and dreams, and then after the concert is over to find out it all falls apart, even if its unintentionally. So not only will be heart broken, you will also feel used. Be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
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