GR4 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 She sounds unhinged. She stormed off and got a train home because you asked her where she was? I'd drop her without hesitation. 2
normal person Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Where the hell did you pull this answer from?! If you actually read the post you can see that i havent treated her in any way and she says so all the time and apologises for "she doesnt know what came over her". This is a girl who throws a strop and refuses to talk to me for a week if i cant turn up 2 hours late to work so i can drop her off at work and drop her to the station instead. This is the girl who wanders off when shopping and when text asking where she is says to "come here or im going home" "well where is here and ill come" "whatever im going home" and leaves. This is the girl who tells me all about her friends being all over guys in clubs yet when i tell her that my friend messaged the group chat saying hes the best at pulling she flips out. This is the girl who was messaging guys on facebook and then told me he was gay without me even asking, only for the next week to start bitching about how ugly his gf is. This is the girl who plasters all her nights out with friends and lads ive never seen before over her instagram and facebook but refuses to put any mention of me anywhere near any profile. This is the girl who flipped out and demanded i apologise, told all her friends and family im cheating and shes leaving me because i messaged my friends gf asking where they were. This is the girl that will always tell anyone who asks what shes doing or up to later when were together or have plans, tell them that shes just "going home" or "having a night in" This is the girl who told everyone at her work that im cheating because i went out with friends and had a photo with my 2 mates and the 2 girls they were seeing. She broke up with me previously cause i apparently looked at a girl despite me pointing out she looks at guys all the time and i dont mind or make a fuss. And you tell me that i treat her wrong? She sounds awful. It seems you've got a lot of reasons to break up with her and seemingly no reason not to. I don't see why you don't just do that, whatever the alternative is has got to be better than dealing with this sort of thing. If something was affecting your life adversely, wouldn't you do what you could to remove it from your life? I don't see why this should be any different. Please stop subjecting yourself to this. Best of luck.
Author chaddercheese Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Because when it is good its good, everything in my life seems to devote around doing everything for her and when were happy and i havent turned her expectations on their head then i have to deal with her wrath and to be honest talking to this forum gives me the motivational boost to get through a breakup that i dont have available when here, the mind numbing boredom of being sat in my office on base or in my room, no computers only my phone. The only person ive really messaged is her. Cutting it all off is hard when its cutting it off into mind numbing boredom and sitting alone.
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Because when it is good its good, everything in my life seems to devote around doing everything for her and when were happy and i havent turned her expectations on their head then i have to deal with her wrath and to be honest talking to this forum gives me the motivational boost to get through a breakup that i dont have available when here, the mind numbing boredom of being sat in my office on base or in my room, no computers only my phone. The only person ive really messaged is her. Cutting it all off is hard when its cutting it off into mind numbing boredom and sitting alone. This is a very social place....it's a start don't you think??
Author chaddercheese Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Why would i do that, my jobs amazing. I design military aircraft. At this current time ive been called onto the base to shadow the air force processes to see the operation of the aircraft in current use. This job also has the issue that every employee is f*ucking up themselves they want to knock you down at every opportunity. When i work with the services though theyre greay guys they never includ me cause im not one of them really.
Toodaloo Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Why would i do that, my jobs amazing. I design military aircraft. At this current time ive been called onto the base to shadow the air force processes to see the operation of the aircraft in current use. This job also has the issue that every employee is f*ucking up themselves they want to knock you down at every opportunity. When i work with the services though theyre greay guys they never includ me cause im not one of them really. Time to get a life. "Hey guys - I really need to get out for a run - do you know of any good routes you can show me?" "Any good bars round here? Been a long day and I need a drink" "The big game is on tonight know of any places that are good to go and watch it" You instigate. You take an interest in them. Heck even just take to the streets and go looking for yourself. Talk to people while you are out there. I have had some amazing nights out and met fantastic people this way. Get rid of the girlfriend. She is no good for you. Time to find a more suitable one. 2
Author chaddercheese Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Time to get a life. "Hey guys - I really need to get out for a run - do you know of any good routes you can show me?" "Any good bars round here? Been a long day and I need a drink" "The big game is on tonight know of any places that are good to go and watch it" You instigate. You take an interest in them. Heck even just take to the streets and go looking for yourself. Talk to people while you are out there. I have had some amazing nights out and met fantastic people this way. Get rid of the girlfriend. She is no good for you. Time to find a more suitable one. I have work drinks tomorrow with the lads but they all have their gfs live on base with them. I join the gym classes, i try to socialise but the omly issue is i stay in the officers mess with the old guys and theyre all in service mess which means we cant socialise outside!
GR4 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Sounds like you should leave your job. Not sure why he should leave his job?
Zahara Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Where the hell did you pull this answer from?! If you actually read the post you can see that i havent treated her in any way and she says so all the time and apologises for "she doesnt know what came over her". This is a girl who throws a strop and refuses to talk to me for a week if i cant turn up 2 hours late to work so i can drop her off at work and drop her to the station instead. This is the girl who wanders off when shopping and when text asking where she is says to "come here or im going home" "well where is here and ill come" "whatever im going home" and leaves. This is the girl who tells me all about her friends being all over guys in clubs yet when i tell her that my friend messaged the group chat saying hes the best at pulling she flips out. This is the girl who was messaging guys on facebook and then told me he was gay without me even asking, only for the next week to start bitching about how ugly his gf is. This is the girl who plasters all her nights out with friends and lads ive never seen before over her instagram and facebook but refuses to put any mention of me anywhere near any profile. This is the girl who flipped out and demanded i apologise, told all her friends and family im cheating and shes leaving me because i messaged my friends gf asking where they were. This is the girl that will always tell anyone who asks what shes doing or up to later when were together or have plans, tell them that shes just "going home" or "having a night in" This is the girl who told everyone at her work that im cheating because i went out with friends and had a photo with my 2 mates and the 2 girls they were seeing. She broke up with me previously cause i apparently looked at a girl despite me pointing out she looks at guys all the time and i dont mind or make a fuss. And you tell me that i treat her wrong? Yikes!!! Only two ways about it. She's NOT changing no matter how much you gripe about it. So you can either accept it because you're too afraid of experiencing independence and would rather settle for a few happy moments lost in a lot of misery. OR Feel that discomfort of facing life on your own and in time, allowing yourself opportunities to be in a healthier and happier state of mind. Nothing could be worse than what you're going through now. Being alone isn't so bad. It's daunting at first but when you're healed and in a healthier emotional and mental space, you'll look at aloneness with very different eyes. You can't see that right now because you've become so dependent on someone to make you whole. Edited February 10, 2016 by Zahara 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 The problem is you're both trying to get the other person to be someone they aren't. You're both, on some level, attracted to drama. She instigates. You keep going back for more. You've created many threads under different accounts about this. At some point, you have to admit you're part of the problem. You contribute by continuing to cling to a woman who's not right for you. 1
dispatch3d Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Buy her a card and a gift rather than make her a card? She does sound dramatic but your response could be better. Also I probably wouldn't tell a girl I hate valentines day even if I did. If the girl is into valentines day she's going to want you to do stuff for it, and I'd prefer just to make her happy for that one day rather than take my moral stand against something. Take one for the team kind of thing.
dispatch3d Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Yikes she has a lot of issues from what you wrote in your reply. I didnt read the whole thread. You've got a lot of work to do if you decide to stay with her.
basil67 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Chaddercheese, everyone is pointing out that your girlfriend is a nutter. And I fully agree. However, your apparent anger and cynicism about other people puts you on an equally unhealthy level. I would understand you being angry about your girlfriend, but the way you speak about Valentines day and Cosmo articles is nothing short of judgmental and offensive. I happen to agree that it's manufactured holiday, but that does not make those who celebrate it "insecure, gold diggers and stupid". What about those who are happy to use the day for some fun romance? Cosmo articles aren't exactly highbrow reading, but they are no more BS than the old Penthouse articles. It's just a bit of fun. What's going on which makes you so judgmental about those who's choices don't impact you? Deeper issues?
kendahke Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 And you tell me that i treat her wrong? No. I'm telling you that the way she wants to be treated isn't in line with the way you think she should be treated, which is why she bounced. And no, I didn't read your past threads on the messiness of your relationship with her because I got a life--I don't live on this board. If you two are as incompatible as your response comes across, then you should be happy that you no longer have to deal with it.
Author chaddercheese Posted February 11, 2016 Author Posted February 11, 2016 No. I'm telling you that the way she wants to be treated isn't in line with the way you think she should be treated, which is why she bounced. And no, I didn't read your past threads on the messiness of your relationship with her because I got a life--I don't live on this board. If you two are as incompatible as your response comes across, then you should be happy that you no longer have to deal with it. The way she wants to be treated changes constantly, we meet up she says she cant imagine her life without me, im perfect, she loves my personality, she doesnt ever want anyone but me. I tell her i love her all the time and shes mine, i dont want anybody else because im hers, im noone elses. I do everything for her too, i pick her up from work everyday which is an hour and a half round trip to save her getting the bus back to her parents for an hour. I drop her to work all the time and ill drive the 2 and a half hour round trip to pick her up from her house and then take her back to mine most days. If she had a long day at work ill always get her a present to cheer her up, i cook her favouritre foods every day for when she gets back after work. I work 7 - 5 she works 1 - 9pm. I dont go out with my friends as much because she doesnt like me going out back home. She says im horrible about her friends because im pushing her to make new friends that live near. Her only friends live 4 hours away, they constantly tell her to leave me and live with them because "drugs and clubs everynight" is an actual quote. When she had to get an abortion last year, a time that can be mentally demanding on a girl, her friends vanished, she mentioned it to them they ignored what she said and her "best friend" carried on telling her about how cheap wine is in a bar near her and then stopped talking for a while, its so hard to watch when your the only one there for someone and then they talk about how great their friends are and they want to move away forever 4 hours away just to live with them (but im the bad guy because i said we will break up if she goes).
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 OP, why do you stay with someone who's so inconsistent? She's onbviously not happy. Your multiple threads indicate you aren't either. You need to ask yourself why you're so attached to drama. I'd have slammed that door shut a long time ago. Breaking up is only as difficult as you make it.
Gaeta Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 The way she wants to be treated changes constantly, we meet up she says she cant imagine her life without me, im perfect, she loves my personality, she doesnt ever want anyone but me. I tell her i love her all the time and shes mine, i dont want anybody else because im hers, im noone elses. I do everything for her too, i pick her up from work everyday which is an hour and a half round trip to save her getting the bus back to her parents for an hour. I drop her to work all the time and ill drive the 2 and a half hour round trip to pick her up from her house and then take her back to mine most days. If she had a long day at work ill always get her a present to cheer her up, i cook her favouritre foods every day for when she gets back after work. I work 7 - 5 she works 1 - 9pm. I dont go out with my friends as much because she doesnt like me going out back home. She says im horrible about her friends because im pushing her to make new friends that live near. Her only friends live 4 hours away, they constantly tell her to leave me and live with them because "drugs and clubs everynight" is an actual quote. When she had to get an abortion last year, a time that can be mentally demanding on a girl, her friends vanished, she mentioned it to them they ignored what she said and her "best friend" carried on telling her about how cheap wine is in a bar near her and then stopped talking for a while, its so hard to watch when your the only one there for someone and then they talk about how great their friends are and they want to move away forever 4 hours away just to live with them (but im the bad guy because i said we will break up if she goes). What do you want Chadder? We are at 3 pages of you telling us how badly she treats you. So I am asking, what do you want? If what you want means her changing than it's never going to happen. You can huff and puff all you want, she won't change and your future with her will only be filled with more and more of this. At the end she will be the one dropping you. So, how many more years do you have to waste on her?
Versacehottie Posted February 11, 2016 Posted February 11, 2016 I just read the OP but my initial feeling is that your sarcasm and cynicism are getting in the way of your relationships. Sometimes people take that part of their personalities too far and it causes problems. I can see some of it from her point of view---not saying she is completely right. And actually for a cynic you sound pretty sensitive or touchy as well which makes the situation with your gf pretty tough to sort out. Good luck
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