Jump to content

Lost trust in myself


Recommended Posts


Long time no post.

The short version of my story is: was in a relationship with a sociopath MM, broke up 4 years ago, got into a relationship with what seemed to be a perfect man, he cheated on me 6 months in (twice with different girls), i forgave him (yeah, no way im gonna do that again) cause i thought he was worth it. After a couple of years in this relationship i broke it off cause of other reasons(he had anger issues), only to realize that he apparently was talking to both of the girls all this time.


So now, i have met a guy who once again, seems awesome. I am being SO careful this time round. I mean, ok with the MM, what did i expect?but the huge hit was the other one. I trusted him so much. Before AND after the cheating. When i was with MM i never trusted him.


So my problem is, what the **** is wrong with me? I do not know who to trust apparently. My "gut feeling" is not working right? I had wrong role models growing up? I have no idea.


So the new guy seems trustworthy, but i am "checking" too much. I really think i have to. I'm extremely cautious. Fortunately im not getting into any panic attacks or anything, but still, not being able to trust myself is baaaad. He knows nothing of my insecurities, but still i think its unfair to him. On the other hand, i feel like im doing the right thing. Question is, when does it stop? when can i say "ok, this guy is the real deal." (at least when it comes to the trustworthy part) Never?


I know you can never be 100% sure about anything, ive been through anxiety (OCD) and thats actually the key to get over it, realizing you can not control the future. So i probably answered my own questions huh?


Darn it. Why cant it be simple?


How did you gain back your trust to yourselves?



edit: also notice my pattern, i went from a sociopath to a guy with anger issues. The new one seems to have none of the above, but who knows? :(

Edited by Capris
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

If you don't trust your gut.

You may not be ready to date yet.

I would sit him down and tell him how you feel.

Don't need to tell the complete story, just bits and pieces.

I also would put out having sex ..if you don't want to be used..waiting to have sex is always a good idea.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Create New...