Silence, then bad news...

[Shanex]

Short story: been talking to this lady, a bit younger that I knew from an OLD site for over a month now through texts, but we even called a couple times and it was good, we planned to meet up but being both sorta busy and the distance (60 miles) made it difficult. That said I didn't give up and was waiting for availability on her side on weekends or vacation.

 

Since a week, almost no update from her, a few texts from me asking what was she up to, at least if she was fine etc, and received this morning a simple text 'I met someone'. Well, it's only dating, we didn't meet and she kept her options open, fine. I didn't reply though, what am I supposed to reply...? And a moment ago by the way she text me 'no reply?'

 

Not sure where she's getting at and that's my question for this thread, tell her happy for you? Can we still be friends? I really don't know. What do you guys think she wants me to tell her?

[Mrin]

No worries dude. The correct response to something like this is: That's fantastic news! I am happy for you. I really am. Best of luck!

 

No need to say anything else because by handling it in a mature and supportive manner you've already said it.

[jen1447]

Yeah, do the dignified thing and say sth happy/congatulatory. (Don't give into the temptation to be snarky.)

 

She's probably assuming you 'owe' her a reply since she replied to you, just in terms of basic civility, and she has a point. (Also you look like a baby if you don't.) Only exception is did she actually not reply to your texts all week? If not then I wouldn't be real worried about replying to her if you don't feel like it, since she set the tone so to speak.

[GR4]

Yeah, I agree with the other two above. Wish her luck and leave on a good note. You'll come across as a decent, mature guy and you never know when she'll be back. Don't burn your bridges. You wouldn't leave a job on bad terms, no different for a woman.

[Shanex]

I think you three are right and I'm indeed a grown up dude. I'll avoid being snarky... I'm not mad or upset or anything, it's only dating and we didn't even meet. Thanks I needed another perspective from my Irl pals. Time to be a gentleman, maybe that will pay off someday.

[Zippy2000]

Ive been here before. We dont know if she has met someone. She could be just saying that.

 

I had a girl do this to me. She couldnt basically say "Im not what your looking for". Only for me to find out she lied to me. I found out through a friend in common.

 

I did the exact same thing. Ignored her message initially as I thought I didnt owe her anything and she asked if I was okay.

 

I told one my friend about what happened and asked for his opinion.

 

I was told some girls do this they dont want to end on a bad note. Some want to stay friends with you and they will come back to check on you to see what they done to you was somewhat ok. Of course not.

 

The best way is to handle it maturely. Let her go and wish her luck.

[SmartDude]

She might be hinting towards you that you did not move quick enough or take initiative. That is the only time when I get a new prospect telling me she is interested in some one else...To rub it in my face.

[Shanex]

Thanks zippy. I thought the same thing (goddammed overthinking) it might just be an excuse for 'I'm not interested anymore'.. and that's why I didnt reply this morning.

 

Also yeah I was slightly taken aback to not hear from her all week, that said I'll finish off on a good note and don't burn my bridge as said before, I really have no ways to verify her version as she's not in my acquaintance but I'll leave it at that I guess.

[Robratory]

Yes, I concur -- it's nice to end things with a "Great! Good luck to you!"