266696687 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 How do i break up with her now?? I already forgave her...idk Just tell her this isn't going to work for you. Cheating is a deal breaker and she should move on with her life as you can no longer be her boyfriend. 2
Author JaredP Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 Is it all beacuse I didn't see her enough?..I feel like a lot of the relationship was developed on the phone..granted we did talk basically every day...why can't I give her a second chance?
Author JaredP Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 It's like...I truly believe she has learned. And that it will never happen again...
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Is it all beacuse I didn't see her enough?..I feel like a lot of the relationship was developed on the phone..granted we did talk basically every day...*why can't I give her a second chance? You can give her as many chances as you like, but it's not you she wants. She wants the other guy. Thats why she jumped in bed with him. Can you really not understand that? 1
Author JaredP Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 This is what she said after i sent her that whole thing......."That doesn't make anything worse. And me asking for space isn't going to distance us... You think I can just forget about us? And all the memories we made and all the feelings I have for you? That's not something that I can get over that easily so please don't be scared. I still love you"
Author JaredP Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 *I mentioned beforehand that it might make things worse..*
266696687 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Is it all beacuse I didn't see her enough?..I feel like a lot of the relationship was developed on the phone..granted we did talk basically every day...why can't I give her a second chance? It's your decision. If you want to give her a second chance you can absolutely. The people here and are just giving you advice. Just based on the fact that your girlfriend of only three months cheated on you and is now asking for space tells everyone here that this relationship is on its way out. If she was genuinely sorry she would be trying to make the relationship work not distancing herself from you further. We are just trying to save you further heartache. Based on our own experiences. Chances are that at the end of the 'space' she has asked for she will finish with you anyway. Sometimes you have to walk away for yourself as you realise you are more invested in the relationship than she is. Loving someone who doesn't love and respect you back is painful. 1
266696687 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 This is what she said after i sent her that whole thing......."That doesn't make anything worse. And me asking for space isn't going to distance us... You think I can just forget about us? And all the memories we made and all the feelings I have for you? That's not something that I can get over that easily so please don't be scared. I still love you" Yes she wants you to believe all is okay and that she loves you. This is how people get strung along. Space is distance. There is no getting around that. She is using the time to emotionally detach from you (while keeping you on the back burner just in case). You are going to get burned. If it was really a mistake she would be asking you what she can do to fix and repair the trust she lost by cheating. She would not be asking for space. 3
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 How do i break up with her now?? I already forgave her...idk After you forgave her she said she needs "space" to "get him out of her system." You give her that space, permanently. It's not about forgiving her. It's about self preservation. 2
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 This is what she said after i sent her that whole thing......."That doesn't make anything worse. And me asking for space isn't going to distance us... You think I can just forget about us? And all the memories we made and all the feelings I have for you? That's not something that I can get over that easily so please don't be scared. I still love you" You are so desperate to be with her, that if she turned up at your door hand-in-hand with the other guy, you'd probably invite him in and give him cake and coffee while they kiss. Have some self-respect. Have you heard of the word, cuckold? You're halfway to being one. 2
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 How do i break up with her now?? I already forgave her...idk The hell do you mean how do you breakup with her now? Meet up with her face to face cause I don't dig this texting ****, just tell her straight up why you're breaking up with her and do not, I repeat do not give in if she starts asking for another chance or some crap like that. Just be honest with her of why you're ending the relationship, cause I truthfully don't see a reason why you wanna stay with her. She ain't all that. 1
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Is it all beacuse I didn't see her enough?..I feel like a lot of the relationship was developed on the phone..granted we did talk basically every day...why can't I give her a second chance? I swear to god, if I was your friend, lived in the same area as you, you'd call me a b*tch cause of my bluntness. The hell you mean why can't you give her a second chance? What do you mean? What chance does she deserve? She doesn't deserve a second chance, giving her a second chance is basically saying you're welcome home mat and nah, f*ck that. Truthfully it is your decision, all I and everyone else can do is tell you to end it. However, I can't stand seeing people doing this. I get it, you love them and all, but what about yourself? Why settle? You're 17 or whatever. Realize that you have so much ahead of you instead of some girl you might not even remember years later. That you might not even give her a second thought years later. I don't understand, you don't deserve that. Again, overall, it is your choice, but my goodness, do you really think you deserve someone who cheats on you, try to come up with bullsh*t excuses to why she cheated when the real reason is that she made the choice. Get it through your head. Honestly, I don't even know if it's love, scared of not having someone or just desperate. And lemme tell you, the last one ain't cute. 1
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 This is what she said after i sent her that whole thing......."That doesn't make anything worse. And me asking for space isn't going to distance us... You think I can just forget about us? And all the memories we made and all the feelings I have for you? That's not something that I can get over that easily so please don't be scared. I still love you" I call bullsh*t, she's saying these things in hopes to keep you around and guess what, sadly..it's working. Drop her like flies, bro. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 How do i break up with her now?? I already forgave her...idk You just do it. Or you just ghost out without saying a word. Either would be a better idea than doing what you're doing. I mean, have some self-respect and dignity man. I realize you're young, way too young to be chasing after a cheater. 1
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 You just do it. Or you just ghost out without saying a word. Either would be a better idea than doing what you're doing. I mean, have some self-respect and dignity man. I realize you're young, way too young to be chasing after a cheater. I personally don't agree with going ghost. I see it as rude personally and just wrong. I totally get that she cheated and all the gist but I think he should just tell her, the truth is gonna hurt, however, it could help her on her side to know cheating isn't okay, it's a choice that she made and, Jared...and if she does that running back to you thing that's if you do breakup with her, don't even bother with her if she does that. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 I personally don't agree with going ghost. I see it as rude personally and just wrong. I totally get that she cheated and all the gist but I think he should just tell her, the truth is gonna hurt, however, it could help her on her side to know cheating isn't okay, it's a choice that she made and, Jared...and if she does that running back to you thing that's if you do breakup with her, don't even bother with her if she does that. I normally would agree, but she cheated. I'm not exactly worried about her feelings and honestly, I don't think him telling her that cheating is wrong is going to matter one iota in this case. If anything, him completely going ghost would be a more powerful statement that what she did was completely unacceptable over having an overdramatic breakup conversation. That being said, there isn't a chance in hell he goes ghost. Hell, I don't think he'll execute a proper break correctly. 1
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 I normally would agree, but she cheated. I'm not exactly worried about her feelings and honestly, I don't think him telling her that cheating is wrong is going to matter one iota in this case. If anything, him completely going ghost would be a more powerful statement that what she did was completely unacceptable over having an overdramatic breakup conversation. That being said, there isn't a chance in hell he goes ghost. Hell, I don't think he'll execute a proper break correctly. Sadly, I agree with what you said, hell I agree with everything. I honestly don't know what else to say, it's sad because he reminds me of myself when my first boyfriend left me and I really don't want him to go through what I went through. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Sadly, I agree with what you said, hell I agree with everything. I honestly don't know what else to say, it's sad because he reminds me of myself when my first boyfriend left me and I really don't want him to go through what I went through. Yeah, I'm afraid this kid is going to be put through the emotional wringer even more than he already has. He has a combo of youth, naivety, and desperation, along with poor self-esteem and no boundaries. Unfortunately I think he's going to have to learn the hard way not to let people treat him like crap. 2
VintageWine Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 Yeah, I'm afraid this kid is going to be put through the emotional wringer even more than he already has. He has a combo of youth, naivety, and desperation, along with poor self-esteem and no boundaries. Unfortunately I think he's going to have to learn the hard way not to let people treat him like crap. The sad truth, because the way he's sounding in his response doesn't seem like he really gets it. Which sucks because me and I think everyone on here have been there before, we can give all the advice that we can, it's up to him to follow the advice. 2
Captivating Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 But I know her. And she genuinely feels terrible about it all and the guy just took advantage of her cause she's young and nieve..should I wait and see what happens and if thinks aren't changing any or if she's never going to get over it then make the final decision? I feel like it won't ever happen again and that she just needs time to forgive herself after I had already forgiven her...so that she can look at me without feeling the immense guilt she feels gripping around her throat. So she cheats on you and she wants to have space deciding whether she wants you back or not. It's a love triangle : the guy doesn't show any interest in her, she wants him, and you want her . She is not in the position to make this decision whether she wants you or not, while you are waiting for HER to decide WHAT ??!! This is ridiculous !!!! Make this decision for her and dump her butt. She should be remorseful and being all over you for your forgiveness, if she loves you. That's not happening though. You need to value yourself and shouldn't put up with her. Walk away! You won't be able to fully trust her after this anyway, you will be always wondering what she is up to, you will be suspicious of her. This is certainly not a good way to start a relationship. You need to have standards and boundaries in a relationship, establish them. 2
Chi townD Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) This is what she said after i sent her that whole thing......."That doesn't make anything worse. And me asking for space isn't going to distance us... You think I can just forget about us? And all the memories we made and all the feelings I have for you? That's not something that I can get over that easily so please don't be scared. I still love you" Wow dude, I hate to say it, but she's got you wrapped around her little finger. AND SHE KNOWS IT!! Here's the harsh truth. She banged this other dude. She broke your trust and threw your relationship away for a roll in the hay. But, you are so desperate not to lose her that you are quick to forgive her and let bygones be bygones. But, she gave herself to another guy without any thought of you. But, this guy just wanted to "hit it and quit it". When a girl gives herself to a guy; not all, but a lot girls have a hard time separating emotional attachment from sex. So, this douche rocket doesn't want anything to do with her and she doesn't understand why. He's an enigma to her. A nut she has to crack. To get him back to being interested in her. So, she told you that she wants to "have space" is a lie. She wants space to pursuit this other dude without any interruptions from you! And if she can't land this guy, she KNOWS that she has you waiting on the sidelines pining away for her. She knows she can go running back to you anytime and you'll take her back. But she doesn't know about this other guy. I mean, she's already told you that the "spark" she once had for you now belongs to him. Why the hell would you want to stick around after that?!?! I mean, that's a MASSIVE slap to your face! Dude, you're getting played and you don't even know it. She needs space from you, the guy she "loves", but I guarantee you that she's contacting this other dude. Does that seem like love to you? Okay, look....you're a virgin and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You want to wait for marriage and that's admirable. And to be honest, there are a LOT of girls that are going to respect that and would love to date you for it. Because you would be interested in them and not what you can get off of them. Dude, you need to let this one go. She chose her own path and that path was betrayal. You need to start NC. Let her go. Heal from this. Start making positive changes to your life. Know that you did nothing wrong. Her choices are not your failures, they're hers. It's time to move on to something better. There are girls out there that know how to stay loyal to the guy they choose. They're out there and waiting for you to find them. Edited February 10, 2016 by Chi townD 4
Author JaredP Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Okay...so this is what she said.. "Look, since I am better at expressing my self through text I'm just gonna tell you how I feel right now... These past couple days have been drama free for me and I really like that.. Not only that but I can focus on myself and actually get my homework.. And I enjoyed that space to myself.. So I think right now I'm better off by myself"
Author JaredP Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 Then This is what i said Okay...I really didn't want to say this over text but it's what you want so okay. Alright, so first you kick me in the balls with the mistake you made(for which I completely forgive and I still do)...then you spit in my face while I'm down with "ummm sorry Jared...but im having a hard time deciding between you, and nothing..." wow. And i still forgive you. Youre feeding me bull****. there isn't a single girl on earth who would choose nothing over arms around her, a kiss on her cheek and "you're beautiful" whispered into her ear. So dont bull**** me with that. Granted, you do need time to forgive yourself and move on from your mistake...but the fact remains that you're keeping me in limbo beacuse you'd "rather be alone" so you go right ahead. You do you honey. Rejoice in your alone time. Your "oh so desperately needed" solitude. But answer me something, How the hell did all of this happen? Did you forget Target? Did you forget chasing each other down the street downtown? Did you forget our first kiss down by the falls? Did you forget all the nights we stayed up talking when we knew we should've been sleeping beacuse we couldn't get enough of each other? Did you forget every kiss on the cheek I ever gave you? Apparently you did. And apparently I'm a fool. Cause it seems to me I've been played. I was more than willing to comply with anything you wanted to change in our relationship even after your mistake. I wanted this to go back to normal. Desperately. I never forgot one single second I was with you. I had everything to give you. Anything you could ever want. And you knew it. You put me on the backburner even after I forgave you for your mistake. And it all hurt. It really did. But guess what. Maybe your mom was right. That this was all just a fling. And you're the one who made it that way Liza,..no matter how badly you wanted her to be wrong, you cried your eyes out over her not believing you when you told her this was real but in the end...she convinced you. And
Author JaredP Posted February 10, 2016 Author Posted February 10, 2016 it's not the mistake you made that proved that, I forgave you for that and I tried to be the sweetest boyfriend I could possibly be about it all..it's how you're acting right now. So thanks for that
266696687 Posted February 10, 2016 Posted February 10, 2016 it's not the mistake you made that proved that, I forgave you for that and I tried to be the sweetest boyfriend I could possibly be about it all..it's how you're acting right now. So thanks for that I'm sorry I hope you can learn from the situation and move on now. Block and delete her everywhere and keep her out of your life. She doesn't deserve anymore chances. This girl doesn't love or respect you. The best thing you can do is let her go and learn from it. You need to figure out why you forgave her so easily for committing such a serious offence against your relationship. In this situation you've allowed this girl to walk all over you, disrespect you and cheat on you and get away with it. You need to take some time to figure out why you let her treat you so poorly. You deserve better and you should expect people to treat you better. The fact that you don't believe that means you've got to do some work on your self and your self confidence. You should never allow someone to treat you this way.
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