I'm just that guy Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 My girlfriend broke up with me towards the start of January. We had been seeing each other for about a year. She had broken up with me before over the summer when she was away for almost a month. We work together and at that point she said that we shouldn't be together and that she hadn't seen me but when we went back to work all these feelings came back. After that, everything was good for a long time, she took me out for my birthday in December and saw her a lot over Christmas. Then I said to her in January that I didn't feel that close to her and she thinks about it and then tells me she needs time to think. A few days pass and she wants to meet up and tell me that she can't be with me and that she needs to be single (she's 23 and I'm 28). When she broke up with me she couldn't stop crying and kept saying if she was 28 she would marry me and all that jazz about how I'm the best guy she's ever met. I gave it a week and then spoke to her again but I just get the vibe that she was over it and had already moved on. So I told her that I'm not sure I can care about her as a friend and we ultimately end with me saying that she should do whatever makes her happy and say Goodbye. I haven't spoken to her since, and when I see her around work she smiles but we don't talk. I have noticed that she has been looking at my snapchat stories too. I'm not sure what to do now. I've been no contact to work on myself for a few weeks now. Any help?
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Forget the 'friends' idea. No more than absolutely necessary communication at work, and NC the rest of the time. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care.
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 What you do now is accept that it's over & figure out how you will move on. Find something to distract yourself over Valentines but really, pull yourself together & get on with your life. 2
Been Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 The only thing you can do is maintain NC. It's funny because I dated a woman who would say I was the "greatest" man and then she cheated on me. If she knew you wet so great then why leave ? She will at some point contact you. They ALWAYS do. But if I were you I think I might just move on. She seems the type that would run back to you because something else didn't workout. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Stay No Contact. I think she felt guilty knowing she was hurting you, but ultimately, we ladies don't break up with a guy we really want to be with. She is right that she is young and probably wants to date around more and have unattached fun. I suspect that's why she broke up with you when she went away. She's not ready to commit to one person. Don't try to be friends right now, either. It's too fresh and you still have feelings. Keep your distance, be professional at work, and leave it at that. 1
Author I'm just that guy Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 It's just really strange how things developed like this. She said to me at the time that she'll probably regret doing so. I actually want her back even though I know that I shouldn't. I guess I'm wondering if she'll ever get back in touch with me. 1
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 It's just really strange how things developed like this. She said to me at the time that she'll probably regret doing so. I actually want her back even though I know that I shouldn't. *I guess I'm wondering if she'll ever get back in touch with me. *I hope she doesn't. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 . I guess I'm wondering if she'll ever get back in touch with me. It's highly unlikely that she will. Don't waste time holding out hope. If it happens AND You are both free & still interested, fine, but it's improbable. 2
Mrin Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 What you do now is accept that it's over & figure out how you will move on. Find something to distract yourself over Valentines but really, pull yourself together & get on with your life. This. Move on and fill your life with novelty to keep your brain off of her. 1
Mrin Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 It's highly unlikely that she will. Don't waste time holding out hope. If it happens AND You are both free & still interested, fine, but it's improbable. The other thing I'd suggest considering is the old saying, "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Not sure what comes after that but you'd be moving into that sort of doormat territory. 1
Author I'm just that guy Posted February 12, 2016 Author Posted February 12, 2016 Well I forgot to mention that at the time she decided to end things she was saying that she'll probably end up regretting making this decision Also, today was our last day of term, I was thinking that she might come by and say hi or bye or something along those lines but she didn't. All she did was do what she usually does and that involves her looking into my room to see if I'm there. So disappointing...
Been Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 I know you hurt. And I am sorry for how you feel. You need to pretend she doesn't exist. Block everything. Because if you don't your always be checking your cellphone for a text that isn't coming. Or breaking down everything she does in the hopes that thier is a sliver of hope she did it for you. You'll start to read into everything she does. And then one day either you'll hear it or see it-she'll be with another man. And that my friend will hurt ALOT more simply because in the back of your mind you feel like she'll comeback.
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