i am so sad....

[winterkoning]

I am soooo sad......long story I am sorry..

I have met this wonderful guy that swept me initially off my feet. I was hesitant in the beginning but he completely won me over. Found out later he just came out of a long term relationship of 8 years, and was only 2 weeks single when he met me. We discussed this and since that relationship started going downhill 2 years ago because she cheated on him, he felt he was ready because it had been 2 years. After 3,5 months of happiness he started to have doubts. He said he really loved me but he also felt fear. He couldn't really tell what he felt. He asked me to take it slow and give him some time, because he didn't want to lose me which I did for 5 weeks. But the connection just got less and less because of the distance he implemented. I felt really bad because I couldn’t handle that distance, not knowing when I would see him again, his sudden lack of initiative, well, his distance. When we did date it was all perfect.

 

So I tried to talk about that last week and we both said we actually didn’t want to loose each other. He mentioned considering going to a shrink as he never felt this fear before and didn't understand it. he only had 3 long term relationships in his life, he is a serious guy. After a wonderful weekend I felt him taking distance again already the next day. In that weekend he told me he loves me…asked me to look at him and said it. We were supposed to meet again the week after and the day before I noticed something was off ( through chat) and he said he was struggling with us. He again said he just could’t give himself right now and he didn’t know why. It seemed commitment problems to me. Then i decided to stop this as I couldn’t handle the emotions anymore. Hot and cold, hot and cold…He then texted me the next day, and that made me feel bad again as I thought we broke up and I told him to leave me alone, that i did not want any contact anymore, wanted to go on with my life and forget him as soon as possible. I blocked him on whatsapp, disconnected from Facebook and blocked him from my email. I saw that he had been checking my dating profile ( where we met, and which we both closed one we were committed. I opened it again which he must have seen and his is still closed) and my linked in profile.

 

Then I thought that because we really had a beautiful start, my way of ending it without an explanation wasn't very respectful. after a little over one week i sent him this email :

 

Daer X,

As my last email was not very open and because I dot want to end things so unclear between us, I am sending you another email to explain myself better, and because of my respect for you.

 

You know me so well that you must have realized how sad I was when I wrote you that email.

A couple of weeks ago I could not imagine a future without you, but now I realize that is how it will be, as sad as that makes me. You have shown me again how beautiful love can be and i am happy that I have felt that again.

 

Unfortunately I couldn’t handle your doubts. It made me doubt and fear as well, and I could not be myself anymore. Because the way we both behaved ( i think) we started losing our connection more and more, even when that was so special and strong in the beginning.

 

Last week I realized I couldn’t handle it anymore and that it had to stop. I almost felt dependent on you and as an independent woman that made me feel very uncomfortable, to love somebody who doesn’t seem to be convinced of his feelings.

 

Thats when I decided to send you that strong email and even blocked you on whatsapp, email and Facebook , so that I could get some space and would know for sure you would not contact me.

 

Maybe I have hurt you with that email, if that is the case I do sincerely apologize and ask for your understanding.

 

I understand that you need time, and that you are not ready to fully commit at this moment.

When you think you are ready to do that, let me know and I will be willing to talk about it. If I am still single at that time, who knows what can happen.

 

Until that time or in case that never happens, I do think that we should not have contact, so I can forget you and allow somebody else to enter my life. I do think it would not be good for either of us having contact without the wish on both sides to check if what we had in the beginning, is still there and a possible basis for a future together. That is in any case the best for me, as I can more easily move on without contact.

 

I do hope that you will feel better soon, and that you will be able to continue wit your life. I wish you happiness, love and success because that is what you deserve. You are a beautiful person.

 

I will cherish our memories. Thank you for the good times !

 

AND THEN HIS ANSWER :

 

Dear x

 

You are a beautiful and special woman. Yes you did hurt me with your last email and I am very happy that you explain yourself to me now.

 

You are right, we had such a wonderful beautiful start. I felt a connection with you like I never felt before in my life. At the same time it became clear that I am more damaged than I imagined as I started to feel more and more afraid. That must have hurt you, I realize that, and I do understand you want to continue to live your life.

 

I have lost you now and that is really really hard for me. But I need to fix myself first before I can move on.

 

I will give you the peace you ask for, because I understand you and respect you. We have something so beautiful together and I do not want to ruin this memories.

 

Big kiss for you.

 

 

And now I am so sad....he does not leave any room for doubt. I need to move on but I miss him like crazy.

[DarkHorizon]

And now I am so sad....he does not leave any room for doubt. I need to move on but I miss him like crazy.

 

I am sorry, but now you have everything you need to move on.

Concentrate on that. The sadness will go away in time.

Don't look back - keep moving forward, even if a little step at a time; one day at a time.

[Satu]

“Women may fall when there's no strength in men."

 

― Romeo and Juliet, Act II.

[winterkoning]

well that helps Satu. I am so sick and grieving iike hell. Thanks

[Satu]

Grief is a noble thing that deserves to respected.