unluckie Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 So the other day I was up at the bar and my friend said. 'that guy having that beer over there was clearly interested. Why didn't you talk to him?' He was really cute and I hadn't noticed! A couple of years ago I was doing this course one evening a week and really liked this guy on it then he got a girlfriend towards the end. On the last evening we all went to a bar and one of the girls on the course said 'It's a pity you and Jake never got it together, he was totally in to you for months.' Again, I had had no idea and had been pining over him for the same months! It was so frustrating. So, I clearly suck at getting those more subtle signals. What are the fail safes I need to look out for? For both, if as a guy you like a stranger at a bar or bookstore, or if you like a colleague or a friend and are hoping for something more?
SSJROMANCE Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Just finding a reason to talk to a guy would be good. That could turn into something more. Do people talk to each other anymore other than pick up lines? I think just talking to him would make them believe you might be interested in them.
truth_seeker Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 I rarely ever initiate with a woman. I like it when she comes to come. Most say the signal from a woman is a smile... but women who have been into me like to stare - not smile. It's usually a pattern that goes like this: 1. Staring 2. Putting themselves near me hoping I will say something This is if it's an encounter at a bar, mall, store. If I see them on a regular basis then it goes like this... 1., 2. 3. Wear clothing that will get my attention. Not sexy clothing but if they find out something about me, like where I went to school, or where I vacation to, they'll wear a shirt that says: XYZ University or Puerto Rico 4. Talk out loud so I can hear them. Something they know that will get my attention and get me to speak up. If they find my LinkedIn and know what I do for work, or studied, all of sudden they're talking about something related to my studies or job.
Chris2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) So what was the guy at the bar doing that your friend noticed but you didn't? Did your friend say? Edited February 9, 2016 by Chris2016
Gold Pile Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 I announce that its warm in here, then I drop my pants and "fan" my junk. 5
Shanex Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Subtle.. Uh. -Usually checking if she wears a wedding ring, yes I might as well ask if she has a boyfriend or husband until she just outright tells me she does. -Staring, is that really subtle though? I mean staring at a nice pair of boobs and cleavage clearly show interest but ain't really subtle. -Suggesting to exchange phone numbers for a REAL reason, ie, work, college, activities etc, not for an actual date in the following evening (trying to be subtle). ... is what I can think of at the moment.
Erik30 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 I never thought about subtle signals, but there are some things I do unconsciously I guess. Like I touch her arm to get her attention. Sometimes I also have an uncontrollable smile when I talk to the girl.
smackie9 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 I find guys are pretty straight forward with me. They come right over, introduce themselves, ask my name, shake my hand, ask a few generic questions, ask if I'm single....then I tell them I'm married. BUT that's mature 40 something year old men. Actually there might be a young one that where his ballz have dropped and has np introducing himself and carry on a conversation. 2
hasaquestion Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 I find guys are pretty straight forward with me. They come right over, introduce themselves, ask my name, shake my hand, ask a few generic questions, ask if I'm single....then I tell them I'm married. BUT that's mature 40 something year old men. Actually there might be a young one that where his ballz have dropped and has np introducing himself and carry on a conversation. I know it will offend the "this is the 21st century!" set, but but men aren't supposed to be subtle. I'm guessing you find guys straight forward with you... because if they weren't, you wouldn't even know they are there. 1
yxalitis Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) I like it when she comes to come. Yep, I like that direct approach too! But on topic...why be subtle? That's a good way to lose out. While you're sniffing around trying to get a gauge, she's gone off with the more direct guy. Edited February 9, 2016 by yxalitis
dispatch3d Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 My most obvious ones are finding reasons to talk to you/making small talk/making an effort to fill in conversation gaps. If I've restarted the conversation 4 times with you about something I find entertaining I'm very interested - also probably pissed at you for not making any effort.
Author unluckie Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 So IMO it's easier for guys to be straight up with a stranger. I do get the straight up bam in your face 'Hi. My name is Adam..' But what about the guys you are acquainted with in some way or the other. I'm lucky to work in a place with tons of decent guys. I also have a hobby where guys are around. So what are the subtle signals these guys would be giving off for romantic interest vs friendly. I say subtle coz I guess a straight up 'let me take you out sometime' could be inappropriate in certain situations like that unless the girl has figured out you like her, she gives signals back and then you do the asking, right?
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