Vincenator Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) So I can definitely say that I've improved over the last few weeks with NC, but there is still some pain left. I really feel like I can't look back at my old memories of me and her when we were so happy together. Every time I do, it just hurts me. I really don't understand how she could fall out of love with me despite how much great times we have gone through together... We were each other's first relationship and ended up being together for a year and a half, until she ended it a few days after the New Years. She has taught me so much before, during and even after our relationship and I really wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for her. It really sucks that this person who has had such a huge impact in my life is basically a stranger to me now. It really hurts to think that in the future, we will no longer be in each other's lives anymore, despite being each other's whole lives for so long. I've never felt such a connection with another person before, especially with such an overwhelming desire to make her happy and content, and being so proud of her success. I feel like I put her well-being first, over mine. I really wanted to treat this girl amazing lol because she doesn't deserve anything less than that. I'm pretty sure her parents noticed that... I got along with her family too, especially her mom who would always give me gifts and ask about me and my sister. Her friend even told her that she would want to marry a guy like me (which made me feel so good that even her friends accepted me lol). It also really hurts to think about ever going into a new relationship, because I feel like I can never love again with the same innocence, intensity and vulnerability. She pulled a blindsided breakup on me and some of my friends even said she led me on. I know she didn't do it on purpose, and she tried to make herself still want to be in a relationship with me, but in the end, it didn't work. We never fought or argued, only minor disagreements. Our relationship was far from what people would consider toxic. Our relationship feels like an odd one on here in that we just grew distant and it ended without drama (minus my begging during the breakup, but that was it; the day after the breakup I just let go of her and our relationship) - just the fire going out and not some explosive argument with cheating or name calling. Sometimes I feel like if our relationship died violently like that instead, it would have been easier for me to move on since I would be able to tell myself that she is not the kind of person I want in my life. It also really feels like our relationship failed because of external factors, like the fact that it was difficult for us to see each other. She told me during the breakup that she lost interest because we never really saw each other. But I guess if the love was real, she would have still stayed in love just like how I was still in love with her despite barely seeing her. But it's seriously so hard to tell myself that she doesn't love me anymore when in the past, she poured out more of her heart to me than I did to her. She would be the one telling me to promise her that we would be together for forever and that I'll always be there for her, as well as making plans to travel together. It really makes me lose faith in love when all of that can happen, and she still falls out of love with me. Also makes me lose faith in love when people tell me that I was too available and always there for her, and that just makes me look boring and weak to her. I can admit that I was not really wearing the pants in the relationship haha and that I really do need to work on myself and be more confident, but it still sucks that it is possible to be too nice. I guess I just wanted to rant and vent a little on here lol Edited February 9, 2016 by Vincenator
Satu Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 When someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, it usually means that they never did. Real love is very durable and resilient, very difficult to destroy. Many people don't know the difference between: Being attached Needing Wanting Craving Loving Those are not different names for the same thing, but many people think they are. Think about this. 1
Author Vincenator Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 When someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, it usually means that they never did. Real love is very durable and resilient, very difficult to destroy. Many people don't know the difference between: Being attached Needing Wanting Craving Loving Those are not different names for the same thing, but many people think they are. Think about this. It really feels like love was there for us in the beginning but disappeared later on. But at least if what you said is true, that means when I do find real love, it would be better than what me and her had
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