ICantStopLovinHim Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 [font=times new roman][/font] Well to be honest im not even sure where to start. I don't want this to end up being another long boring you should know better post. Here goes i am in a rebound relationship, this august it will be three years together. The reason i say rebound is because i used him to help me get over a OW/MM relationship that was destroying me. Anyway he was what i needed at the time first of he was single, he could give me ALL the attention i needed and desired, unlike the MM. Anyway i fell for him BIG time hook line and sinker. He was great and our relationship grew except for one thing it was going WAY to fast. Two months into the relationship he was telling me he loved me. A month after that he moved in....and just what do you think happened 9 months later? Yep you guessed we have an 18 month old son. Soon after the birth of our son he became distant. Started going out with friends more. Staying at "work" later and later. Being secretive about his cell phones. Yeah he has two. Me? i was working full time and pretty much raising the baby alone he worked opposite shifts than me and it wasnt to help with day care cost. ( his mother watches our son during day time) I think it was to distance himself from me. So about a year ago i started to think this had to end. I needed out because i was becoming restless and very much unhappy. I tried to talk to him about it. I felt trapped I felt controlled and I felt used. I asked him if he thought we could try living apart for a while, i felt like i was loosing who i was and needed it back. He told me no said if i left it was for good. So a few months ago i decided i had enough of feeling used and neglected. I mean for a man who is at "work " almost 50 + hours a week but still asking me for money all the time? I have started to look for a place to stay since he has made it clear more than once that he is not going anywhere. So whats my problem now? A month ago i ran into an old friend on my once a month your allowed to go out with your friends night. We talked for HOURS reminiscing, laughing talking and more talking. All i could think to myself was where have you been all my life. I am not a creature of habit I DO NOT want history to repeat it self. I have been talking to my friend almost daily about my problems mostly asking for advice. I'm scared to death. I hate having to be the one to leave. I hate having to move my kids from their home ( i have two older children from a previous marriage) . I hate having to figure out a budget so that i can afford another place. I know i need to do this for my self. But the more i consider it the harder it becomes. I keep asking myself if i wouldn't be so determined to leave if i didnt have someone talking me through it ever day. I dont want to feel i am leaving one man to be with another, but when it comes down to it THAT IS EXACTLY what it feels like. Although my mind was clearly made up WAY before i ran into my oldhigh school friend. I love my current boyfriend but i know its not working I am very unhappy and have been for a long time. But when i look at him and think about walking away it hurts so bad. I am just so confused right now. I really wish i could get my heart and mind on the same page this time and just do the right thing......
Author ICantStopLovinHim Posted June 9, 2005 Author Posted June 9, 2005 I guess noone really knows what to say huh? I'm not even sure of what I am asking exactly. I just dont want to leave him for the wrong reasons. Nor do i want to feel guilty for leaving.......Love Sucks.... pretty much what it comes down too.......i need professional help.
Author ICantStopLovinHim Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Well as of today i guess my relationship is officially over. mY boyfriend got into my voicemail and heard a message from my "friend" saying something like hang in there ill help you get through this. And now my bf is pretty much kicking me out of my home with three kids and no where to go. Funny isnt it how you can feel guilty for being unhappy? I cant even make a list of what was wrong with our relationship to begin with because my guilt is so overcomming. I am so ready to trade in this life and just start all over. The worst part is my children witnessed the arguing this morning. I just dont know what to do
scarlyjones Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 well first of all,...you need to ask yourself why you NEED a relationship so badly. You ARE leaving one,...to IMMEDIATELY start another. That is NEVER healthy. Its not fair to you OR the new guy. He doesnt get to start fresh with you. You're still reeling from this one. DOWNTIME. Thats what you need. Get your head right. Also,..why in the world did you have unprotected sex with this guy if you werent married? WHy didnt you have abortion or give the baby up for adoption if you werent married to this guy? You got into a relationship and then a mere 9 months in,...you're pregnant. THATS THE PROBLEM. Good luck. God bless. Hope all works out.
Author ICantStopLovinHim Posted June 10, 2005 Author Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by scarlyjones WHy didnt you have abortion or give the baby up for adoption if you werent married to this guy? You got into a relationship and then a mere 9 months in,...you're pregnant. THATS THE PROBLEM. Good luck. God bless. Hope all works out. An abortion?? Your kidding right? Thank you for your opinion. I know i need down time. I guess im getting what i deserve. thanks again
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