Lyric Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I had a conversation with a friend some time ago in which I told her that I get really uncomfortable when a guy that I barely know calls me "sexy" or "hot" or something alone those lines. I don't see myself as a very sexual person and I don't have much interest in being perceived as sexy. If someone still perceives me that way then I don't mind but it's not something that I want to hear from someone that I hardly know. A few months ago there was a guy I went out with only once and afterwards he told me that he thought I was sexy and that he liked that I didn't put "too much make up on, like other women". Maybe I'm taking statements like these too seriously but after talking to someone for an hour I would hope that he would find other things to compliment me on than my "sexyness". And commenting on the amount of make up a woman wears and thinking that I will take it as a compliment that he thinks that I don't fit his stereotypical view of how "women are", is kind of offending to me. I have been told that my point of view is a bit extreme or rather that I take this stuff too seriously. I would like to get some inside on how other people see this. Do you think I'm exaggerating?
jen1447 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 Maybe a bit extreme IMO. I think a guy on a date is entitled to a certain level of liberties w/the discussion, bc it's a date after all not a business meeting. And I think you're reading too much into the makeup comment. Most ppl don't say stuff like that w/any hidden agenda so if it offends you I think you're best trying to let it go. You're certainly not in the wrong to find "you're sexy/hot" comments from random ppl you don't know inappropriate tho.
Author Lyric Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 It wasn't actually even a "real" date. We met by chance and he asked me if he could get me a coffee and I agreed. We only met that one time.
jen1447 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 It wasn't actually even a "real" date. We met by chance and he asked me if he could get me a coffee and I agreed. We only met that one time. Hmm, ok first time chance coffee date is maybe a little much.
Robratory Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) Do you think I'm exaggerating? Yes and no. Strange men have no right to tell strange women that they're pretty, cute, sexy, hot, or anything like that. I know many do, but it's a stupid male entitlement that deserves to be put down without any concern for etiquette. However, a man on a date with you is different, and "sexy" is not really insulting in that context ("I love your big boobs" on a first date would usually be insulting). The thing is that the word "sexy" has lost much of its sexual connotation and has come to mean, like Websters says in its third definition, "excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car." On the other hand, the word "hot" has acquired sexual connotations. Personally, I don't either word too often, but from a stranger, "hot" might be more insulting than "sexy." Of more concern is your apparent lack of interest in sex. If that lack is so great that you don't even want to hear that you're sexy, you might consider looking into it because it's surely going to cause you problem in your dating life. Edited February 7, 2016 by Robratory
Author Lyric Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 Of more concern is your apparent lack of interest in sex. If that lack is so great that you don't even want to hear that you're sexy, you might consider looking into it because it's surely going to cause you problem in your dating life. Well, I wouldn't take any offence by being called sexy by someone that I know well or have a relationship with. I just don't like strangers talking about me in a sexual way. I am not entirely desinterested in sex but I think that there is definetely an emotional attraction needed for me to want to do it.
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