Finalchapter Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 So my ex and I broke up a year ago (he dumped me). He occasionally kept messaging me during this time (sometimes the messages were flirty and sexual), even though he had a new gf within a month. During the first month of breakup I would occasionally respond but eventually i blocked him on all communication channels because any contact was hurting me too much. Around 6 months later he sent me a mail on my birthday and we talk for a while. I have only initiated contact to wish him on Christmas and things went downhill from there. He would send me texts that he is sorry and he regrets all that happened and then disappear for weeks. He resurfaced and asked me to meet him, which i did, and then he disappeared again. A month later he messages me back saying thanks for some professional contacts I had helped him with, and we talk for a while (again he gets flirty and tells me how much he regrets letting me go) and then disappears again. I am so tired, I don't want to play his game anymore but I also want to understand why do guys do that? And how do I handle a guy that keeps reappearing and disappearing from my life? I really want him to realize that what he is doing is bloody awful!! Btw, he is again blocked on all communication channels.
Satu Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 snip I am so tired, I don't want to play his game anymore but I also want to understand *why do guys do that? And how do I handle a guy that keeps reappearing and disappearing from my life? I really want him to realize that what he is doing is bloody awful!! Btw, he is again blocked on all communication channels. *They do what they do because of who they are. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. 2
marky00 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 I am so tired, I don't want to play his game anymore but I also want to understand why do guys do that? And how do I handle a guy that keeps reappearing and disappearing from my life? Its not gender specific, believe me ....... girls do it too. However, the reasons for doing it can differ depending on gender. Although not always, guys get a reputation for doing that..... for sex, i.e. a booty call. Its easier to hook up with an Ex than find a new f*** buddy at a night club etc. Doesn't sound like your Ex is doing it for that reason.... but as I said its often the reason guys do that. Girls do it mainly to appease their guilt (i.e. ween themselves off the old relationship at a more gentle pace). They also do it to keep their Ex on the hook (i.e. Plan B). 1
Author Finalchapter Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 Thanks for the replies... well my ex and I don't live in the same city anymore so it's not for sex. I was reading a few posts on LS about commitment phobia and it's patterns and he seems to fit the description. when we were together, he even had trouble picking out an ice-cream flavour!! He even told his mother that he is scared he will never be able to commit to anyone or get married! 1
DarkHorizon Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 how do I handle a guy that keeps reappearing and disappearing from my life? by making sure he can't reappear? It is up to you to do something about it. Satu listed above everything you need to do 2
Author Finalchapter Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 I am on it! I am treating it like an addiction and doing all that should be done by an addict 2
sandylee1 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 You just block him and if he still manages to get through..you ignore and delete ....don't answer calls from unknown numbers and install an app called trucaller on your smartphone. Guys like that are a total waste of time. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 If you don't like the game stop playing. Ignore him the next time he contacts you. Eventually he'll stop 1
marky00 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 he even had trouble picking out an ice-cream flavour!! LOL commitment phobia of ice cream flavours. 1
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