Author Emaize3 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 That's what I figured. He feels so guilty over the pain he caused. He wanted to call/write but couldn't bear to do it.
triple-s Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Today was my first day back to work . It was fun seeing my co workers again after a period of 1 month off . truth is I was happy because my EX wasnt there ... I felt at ease . All good right ? well get this Looking ahead into the upcoming weeks schedule . I noticed her name isnt on the schedule . Hmmm maybe shes on vacation ? ... but i looked on to the end of february and STILL no sign of her name anywhere .As a matter of fact i looked at the previous month from Jan10-now ... her name seems to have been pulled out of our system !!?!?!? GASP .DID SHE JUST QUIT ? TRANSFER LOCATIONS !?!?!?!?!??!? HER NAME HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM OUR COMPANY'S SCHEDULE ...Now while i dont wish any bad harmful things upon her health ... I AM PRAYING THAT SHE HAS EITHER QUIT HER JOB ; GOT TRANSFERRED AND WILL NO LONGER BE AT THE COMPANY ..You have no idea how happy it made me feel seeing that she potentially wont be around anymore . please . make . this . come . true 1
Author Emaize3 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 Check with a coworker. Definitely makes it easier to not see her everyday. However, I wish I could be in my exs presence again.
triple-s Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Check with a coworker. Definitely makes it easier to not see her everyday. However, I wish I could be in my exs presence again. im gonna give it a few days ... i dont want to make it obvious that im looking for her already when i just got back to work on my first day . i really just want to move on ... its alot more beneficial for me as an employee not having any distractions. When shes there .. its Fks with my head and concentration Really > why would you wish to be in your EX presence ?
Author Emaize3 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 I get it. It's hard for me to concentrate. I want to be back in his presence because I miss him terribly. He was the BEST guy I ever had. I "thought" we were happy. Laughing, loving, having fun, talking. I knew his entire family and vice versa. It was perfect. I feel like I can't live without him. Severely depressed.
DrMario Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 I feel numb lately, almost as if nothing that she does or doesn't do bothers me anymore, so long as I don't see her or hear from her I'll probably remain this way and as sad as I feel that I'm numb it's a world and a half better than the pain I was in only a week a go, I'm moving away soon to another town and at that point I'll start fresh and start to put her behind me, but the moment I think about that I feel pain because I never wanted to put her behind me and I never wanted this distance that is now between us (I'm one of those guys that would always rather stay friends) whatever she does with her life, I hope she finds happiness, that was all I wanted for her, even if that happiness comes at my own expense. 1
Author Emaize3 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 That's very nice of you. You obviously loved her. I still want to be friends (I am with all my exs). I'd always like to have a glimmer of hope. Maybe the move will be a good distraction for you.
CDJ Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 I'm at six months now since since break-up/incident, and 2 months of no contact (well, I've not spoken or heard from here in nearly 6 months, but I tried reaching out through letters/e-mails a couple of times). Coming to this forum helped me to understand a few things, and it was comforting to see so many people were in the same boat. I also started to feel anger to wards my ex and how she treated me, which was long overdue and felt good. However, in the past week I've been struggling a little. A few weeks ago I learned that my ex had erased all traces of me on social media, which I should have expected, but it stung a little. I'm also struggling with my anger a little. It felt good at first, but it's since left me feeling almost regretful. She was really my first love, the first person I truly opened up to, so I don't want to regret any of that - but unfortunately, I do. I suppose I just feel utterly let down by her; the dishonesty, being messed around, the way she callously hurt and humiliated me, and the way she hang me out to dry afterwards. But I think the biggest pain comes from beating myself up over how I handled things afterwards. I know it was a traumatic and horrible thing that happened, and people tell me my reaction was understandable, but it was so unlike me to be emotional and frantic like that. I wish I'd kept my cool and not made things worse; cut contact and let her grovel to me, not the other way around! I think this matters because after the initial break-up I wanted her to remain doubtful about it, to leave a good lasting impression on her. Instead, I probably made her more glad about the decision, and allowed her to flip the situation, which is what she wanted. Lastly, I worry about how it's affected me since. In the six months I can't remember how many dates I've been on, and I must have slept with about 5 women. None match up to what I had with my ex. I feel that I gave a huge piece of my heart to my ex, she broke it and didn't give me the pieces back. It's almost like I've lost the ability to love or commit again - maybe fear, maybe lack of confidence? I know that it's two steps forward, one step back, and that this is just one of those dips - but it feels like a huge one at the moment! But, I've not cried about it for months, and I've not looked at old photos or letters in a long time, so I know I'm getting there.
triple-s Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 I get it. It's hard for me to concentrate. I want to be back in his presence because I miss him terribly. He was the BEST guy I ever had. I "thought" we were happy. Laughing, loving, having fun, talking. I knew his entire family and vice versa. It was perfect. I feel like I can't live without him. Severely depressed. Oh my bad I thought you worked with your ex -- TRUST ME ITS HELL . Had we not worked together i woulda been over her months ago ... Today I just noticed they removed her off the schedule and I hope that she either quit or transferred ; no harm to her of course ! Care to share what happened to you and your ex ?
Author Emaize3 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 Sure, there a post called "so much pain" and that includes my story. Probably posted around the last week of January
Raina314 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 Today was a good day for the most part. I have a Russian speaking partner who I talk to once a week in Russian and for whatever reason one of the most therapeutic things for me is speaking another language for an hour or two. If any of you here are bi or multilingual, I highly recommend finding someone to speak to in your non-dominant language. It can be about your breakup, or about anything else, but it really helps. Anyways, overall I think I'm still at about the same level of sadness, but this is always the high point of my week and I just thought I'd share because it's not something I hear recommended often as a "feeling better" technique. How's everyone else feeling?
Author Emaize3 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 That's wonderful Raina314! I can see how that would get your mind off of things. I just came from therapy and cried my eyes out. At least I'm only crying there now. Maybe I should take up another language.
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