Author Robot_heart Posted February 6, 2016 Author Posted February 6, 2016 Call it woman's intuition or whatever but I just have a gut feeling there's another woman involved.... And my bet is on his ex, since she came up into conversation a few times and she lives around here... If I'm wrong I'm wrong but I know from past experience that when two people are highly attracted to each other they make the time or effort... And our conversations were showing him to be highly attracted to me. That I have no doubt about.
carhill Posted February 6, 2016 Posted February 6, 2016 OP, respecting each situation is unique, the common thread I found in similar interactions over the decades was, basically, they were time-fillers for the person who, push come to shove, didn't make the time to press some flesh. It felt good to fill time with another human, get some attention, feel the juices of flirtation flow, then it passes. The actual person was, generally, irrelevant, not in a mean way but rather in a one of billions way. One lesson reflecting on those experiences taught was to enjoy the now and leave it. If the next now happened, OK. If not, OK. Essentially, let go of expectations. 2
smackie9 Posted February 6, 2016 Posted February 6, 2016 IMO you are using your energy to chase this man's shadow. Just get out there and meet someone you can interact with irl....not through text. 1
Author Robot_heart Posted February 6, 2016 Author Posted February 6, 2016 IMO you are using your energy to chase this man's shadow. Just get out there and meet someone you can interact with irl....not through text. Sadly yes I'm chasing a shadow but his shadow is more interesting than anyone I've met Irl in a long time
joseb Posted February 6, 2016 Posted February 6, 2016 Sadly yes I'm chasing a shadow but his shadow is more interesting than anyone I've met Irl in a long time This is just you building something up.in your head. You haven't even met properly in real life ffs. If you had had 10 great dates I could see maybe you were entitled to be this invested. But all you have is a bunch of fb messaging. To me that means absolutely nothing. Sorry. Do you know for sure he is even in town? 1
katiegrl Posted February 6, 2016 Posted February 6, 2016 (edited) OP...it appears this man liked you a lot more at a distance. At a distance, there are long intimate phone chats *every night*, lasting hours, about anything and everything....asking you how serious about him you are, how much he likes you, how he hasn't felt that way in a long time, blah blah. But then, as soon as he arrives in town, and you are close, he has an opportunity to actually meet in person, suddenly he is *too busy.* To even call or text you! Him blowing you off has nothing to do with family, no way. If he were still interested, he'd have wanted to meet you, even if just for an hour for crying out loud. Or at the very least, call or text. He would NOT be behaving this elusively. I think you know that too. I would not count on Sunday....it is Super Bowl Sunday, there is no way he is gonna tear himself away from that to meet you. IMO, the guy is 100% full of crap. Sorry He is putting you off....mostly like because, like I said, he liked you a lot more when you were at a distance. That's my take fwiw. Edited February 6, 2016 by katiegrl 1
oldshirt Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 This is why I don't believe in LDRs or cyber-relationships. Relationships only count if they are face to face between flesh and blood people in the real world. Everything else is just pen pals and fantasies. 2
Author Robot_heart Posted February 7, 2016 Author Posted February 7, 2016 This is just you building something up.in your head. You haven't even met properly in real life ffs. If you had had 10 great dates I could see maybe you were entitled to be this invested. But all you have is a bunch of fb messaging. To me that means absolutely nothing. Sorry. Do you know for sure he is even in town? No I don't know if he is in town.... Why would he lie? What is wrong with people? I hate all of this. I hate that I have feelings for someone I've never met really properly in person. I hate that I trusted him and that I had all these deep conversations with him that I thought were real. It was the talks on the phone that drew me into him. Like after the first 2 hour convo I hung up the phone and was out of breath. Like heart fluttering. He was so sweet and deep... I was like omg I finally met someone on my level of thinking... But no it never goes right. There is always something wrong... I'm not heartbroken I'm just stung. He has not texted all day I have a feeling he has no intentions of texting again. I hope it was fun for him.... Great emotional high. D*ck
Gaeta Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 No I don't know if he is in town.... Why would he lie? What is wrong with people? I hate all of this. I hate that I have feelings for someone I've never met really properly in person. I hate that I trusted him and that I had all these deep conversations with him that I thought were real. It was the talks on the phone that drew me into him. Like after the first 2 hour convo I hung up the phone and was out of breath. Like heart fluttering. He was so sweet and deep... I was like omg I finally met someone on my level of thinking... But no it never goes right. There is always something wrong... I'm not heartbroken I'm just stung. He has not texted all day I have a feeling he has no intentions of texting again. I hope it was fun for him.... Great emotional high. D*ck Don't beat yourself up. This has happened to a lot of people including me. A few years ago I started talking to this dog trainer online concerning my dog. He kept in touch to follow my dog's progress. He's from FL and I am up in Canada. In no time we fell into this emotional affair that lasted ONE year. I was totally addicted to him. He broke 5 times his promise to come and visit me here. It was one of the hardest heartbreak I had to get over. I spent days crying on my daughter's couch. These virtual 'love' are very powerful no matter what people say. I understand what you are going through. That being said, wait till tomorrow before jumping to any conclusion. 1
katiegrl Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) It's passive aggressive, dramatic and cligny. I am sorry I don't mean to make you feel worse. Being told 'whatever' would absolutely get me aggravated. Him saying ' I can't wait to see you ' does not mean he was coming over specifically to see you. He was using that opportunity to see you. He also did not want to see you for 5 minutes that's why he offered Sunday when he'll have real time to devote to you. Gaeta, bless your heart for encouraging OP to remain optimistic. I am not seeing it. He has been here since Thursday, blew her off twice and is not texting at all, or calling. Interested people act interested. He is certainly not. And OP, you were not wrong for texting what you did (the whatever). It was honest! He came on super strong and led you to believe there was something "there". Something to build on. Then he shows up and does a complete 360.....anyone would be hurt and disappointed by that! And confused! Good for you for not being afraid to express that...in whatever way you needed. He would have to be a complete moron not to realize that, and if he were interested and cared, he would have gone out of his was to reassure you. NOT completely ignore you as he is doing now. Do not text him again. If it were me, I would make other plans for tomorrow. IF, by chance he does contact you (unlikely but you never know), simply tell him "Since I have not heard from you .... I made other plans. Have a good evening...take care." IMO, his behavior here has been unacceptable... and if it were me, I would want nothing to do with him. Edited February 7, 2016 by katiegrl 2
Redhead14 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 No I don't know if he is in town.... Why would he lie? What is wrong with people? I hate all of this. I hate that I have feelings for someone I've never met really properly in person. I hate that I trusted him and that I had all these deep conversations with him that I thought were real. It was the talks on the phone that drew me into him. Like after the first 2 hour convo I hung up the phone and was out of breath. Like heart fluttering. He was so sweet and deep... I was like omg I finally met someone on my level of thinking... But no it never goes right. There is always something wrong... I'm not heartbroken I'm just stung. He has not texted all day I have a feeling he has no intentions of texting again. I hope it was fun for him.... Great emotional high. D*ck We were "electronically" all over each other and then he shows up in town and he's suddenly avoiding me -- the problem with online communication and developing a "relationship", electronic connection, is that one or both parties create a vision in their heads about that person before they even meet. Some people build this idealized version of the other person to a point where they are sometimes intimidated by actually meeting this vision and so they avoid it. Some people will meet each other and the other person doesn't/can't match that idealized version/vision they've created and the result is a hard landing back to earth. Then, you have the ones who never intended to meet the person, it's was entertaining for them to keep contact and build their own ego virtually or they were bored or they were thinking of cheating on their girlfriend but when the chance became a reality, they couldn't follow through. Bottom line is it just doesn't matter. He's just a guy you'd been chatting with in a virtual world that didn't exist. Don't communicate with him anymore and move on block him. 3
GR4 Posted February 7, 2016 Posted February 7, 2016 No I don't know if he is in town.... Why would he lie? What is wrong with people? I hate all of this. I hate that I have feelings for someone I've never met really properly in person. I hate that I trusted him and that I had all these deep conversations with him that I thought were real. It was the talks on the phone that drew me into him. Like after the first 2 hour convo I hung up the phone and was out of breath. Like heart fluttering. He was so sweet and deep... I was like omg I finally met someone on my level of thinking... But no it never goes right. There is always something wrong... I'm not heartbroken I'm just stung. He has not texted all day I have a feeling he has no intentions of texting again. I hope it was fun for him.... Great emotional high. D*ck Yeah, don't beat yourself over it. You got yourself too invested in someone you didn't really know. I've done it so many times and I know it can be easy to do. Don't ever feel bad for speaking your mind and being honest either. That's a rare quality these days so don't change your ways in that regard. People will often tell you not to tell a girl or a guy that you like them too early on to avoid scaring them away. It's nonsense. Be honest with your feelings, if they like you they'll be happy to hear that you like them back. If you scare them away they were never really into you in the first place, maybe sitting on the fence at best. Lastly, don't give up hope just yet. You've done your bit he still might be in touch with you. I've written off girls in the past thinking I'll never hear from them again and then days later I get a message and everything is cool again. 1
Author Robot_heart Posted February 8, 2016 Author Posted February 8, 2016 Well it's over. No text no dinner nothing. Lol I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned, don't catch feelings so strong before you meet someone in real life... I gotta hand it to him he was real smooth over the phone and text : /
GR4 Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Well it's over. No text no dinner nothing. Lol I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned, don't catch feelings so strong before you meet someone in real life... I gotta hand it to him he was real smooth over the phone and text : / Like I said before, don't beat yourself up over it. He is a dick for acting the way he has. Think of it as a bullet dodged. You want to be dating a guy that stays true to his word. A man who doesn't stay true to his word isn't a real man at all. 1
VeveCakes Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Well it's over. No text no dinner nothing. Lol I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned, don't catch feelings so strong before you meet someone in real life... I gotta hand it to him he was real smooth over the phone and text : / What a douche. 1
carhill Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Yup, unfortunately this occurs. Equally unfortunate will be a bit of time passing and another contact with an 'explanation'. Watch for it. After awhile, it becomes sport and the emotional content fades into the background. One component is changing mindset about people. They have no value and earn value through their actions and not relying on benefit of the doubt to grow their stock. When I refer to value, I'm speaking of value in relationships, not value as a basic organism. If/when he contacts you again, perhaps this being in the back of your mind will help. No need to be mad or glad. He's earned neither. 1
katiegrl Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Well it's over. No text no dinner nothing. Lol I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned, don't catch feelings so strong before you meet someone in real life... I gotta hand it to him he was real smooth over the phone and text : / I am so sorry.... But not sure why YOU feel like an idiot. HE was the one telling you how much he liked you...how he never felt that way before, or in a long time anyway. He was the one calling every night, pushing this.. All you did was respond. And when he arrived in town...except for that one text...you left him alone. So there is no need for you to feel like an idiot. Disappointed? Hurt? Yes! Of course you are disappointed, this [man] led you to believe you were starting a RL..... only to do a complete 360 when he arrived in town. The only thing you did wrong was trusting a man who turned out to be a freakin sociopath. Lesson learned for next time.... ((hugs)) Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language
Gaeta Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 Well it's over. No text no dinner nothing. Lol I feel like an idiot. Lesson learned, don't catch feelings so strong before you meet someone in real life... I gotta hand it to him he was real smooth over the phone and text : / Arrrggg so sorry girl ! I was hoping he'd make a last minute turn around. Get rid of him on FB. Don't give him a second chance to waste your time! 1
katiegrl Posted February 8, 2016 Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Arrrggg so sorry girl ! I was hoping he'd make a last minute turn around. Get rid of him on FB. Don't give him a second chance to waste your time! Get rid of him on ALL social media. Block and delete him from phone and email. You need to extricate this [man] from your consciousness .... and doing those things is the ONLY way you will be able to do it. Edited February 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 1
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