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Ok, wtf?

AgainstAllOdds1

By AgainstAllOdds1
in Dating

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Robratory Established Member

Robratory

Posted
Posted
I invite a cute girl out with me and my buddies tonight, she shows up immediately.

 

I won't repeat the good advice others have given, so instead I'll advise you not to mix girls and buddies. Why would you? There's no upside and plenty of downside.

 

  • One of your buddies could wind up with her.
  • You can't give her your full attention because you're with buddies.
  • The buddy vibe of the night might land you in the friend zone.
  • If she misbehaves (like she did), your buddies might tease you.

  • Like 2
SwordofFlame Established Member

SwordofFlame

Posted
Posted

I have a petite 4'10 friend that has extremely low tolerance, doesn't drink regularly and when she does, she can overdo it really quickly if she doesn't pay attention to how much she's had.

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted
I won't repeat the good advice others have given, so instead I'll advise you not to mix girls and buddies. Why would you? There's no upside and plenty of downside.

 

  • One of your buddies could wind up with her.
  • You can't give her your full attention because you're with buddies.
  • The buddy vibe of the night might land you in the friend zone.
  • If she misbehaves (like she did), your buddies might tease you.

 

This.

 

Don't invite girls you are interested in to hang out with you and your buddies.

  • Like 3
Erdbeere Established Member

Erdbeere

Posted
Posted
I won't repeat the good advice others have given, so instead I'll advise you not to mix girls and buddies. Why would you? There's no upside and plenty of downside.

 

  • One of your buddies could wind up with her.
  • You can't give her your full attention because you're with buddies.
  • The buddy vibe of the night might land you in the friend zone.
  • If she misbehaves (like she did), your buddies might tease you.

 

I don't understand this, and am reflecting on having been out with my new man's best friends and him at the weekend. Isn't it an ideal situation, assuming you like both? You get the benefit of having both close by, and becomes familiar with the other being in your life.

joseb Established Member

joseb

Posted
Posted
Seriously? I've never had a real issue with that. If any girl I brought to hang out with my buddies ended up with one of them instead, I'd consider it a blessing that I dodged that bullet so quickly.

 

Not mainly for that reason, but yeah that does happen too.

She's fair game unless you are in a relationship!

 

It's more about concentrating on the person, and having a proper date instead of a half assed hangout with mates.

Whoknew30 Established Member

Whoknew30

Posted
Posted

I'll ask bc no one else has...were you the one helping to get her drunk (buying her drinks?)? If so you're only upset bc you didn't get any...so you didn't "win" that night. Get over it! It happens, not every girl you have a good night with is going to drop her panties right away & if that's all you wanted & we're concerned with, you got what was coming to you.

 

Better luck next time :)

lana-banana Established Member

lana-banana

Posted
Posted (edited)

I would never take a date out with a group of friends early on. In the beginning you should be devoting your attention to the other person, learning whether you're compatible or even like them enough to see them again. When you're hanging out with friends you don't get much alone time and you have to juggle the group dynamic, which is completely different from a date. Besides, it's hard enough to get to know just one person. It's kind of rude to introduce even more complete strangers into the mix! I would assume that anyone who brought their friends along before at least two months of dating wasn't taking me seriously. Meeting the friends should be a (small, but still) milestone. You want them to say "ooh, we've heard so much about you!" and so on.

 

Also, it's impossible to judge her alcohol situation after one incident. If she was pounding shots all night then that would be one thing but tolerance can vary widely among people. I once got shockingly trashed after a watery cocktail and glass of wine because I hadn't slept or eaten much in the days prior. This is especially apt to happen to petite people with little body fat.

 

It doesn't help your case that you seem most annoyed she wasn't able to have sex. That's never a good look. If you want a woman's attention, give her all of yours.

Edited by lana-banana
  • Like 1
ExtraSpice Established Member

ExtraSpice

Posted
Posted

Though I personally would not do a first date in a group setting, but to each his own. Assuming it was meant to be a date?

 

Anyways everyone has had those times where you get a little too wasted. Its a little more embarrassing when it happens with people you are hanging out with for the first time. Anyways I would cut her some slack and just invite her for something more one on one. And take it from there.

Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
Posted

Your next step is to message her to tease her about this incident. After some banter, seed the next meeting.

 

Then, radio silence: leave it a few days or so. After that, you ask her out again - with definite plans. Make it an activity where she is tagging along and you'd do it regardless of whether she was there.

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