Peter Poe Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 I am marrying a woman I don't love. The only woman I will ever love is my ex wife. I miss her every day I should of never left her and I will always regret it. I have to make everyone think I hate my ex wife because I am too embarased to say i made a big mistake. I cant talk to anyone about this. What should i do.
Sad Flower Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 WOW That is some Sh*t Do u realize u will suffer as long as u r with this woman if u marry her. I think u should come clean to her! Don't make yourself suffer!!
dgiirl Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Dont marry a woman you dont love. That's a pretty cruel and selfish thing you could do to someone. Regardless of your situation with your ex wife, atleast have the decency and respect for this woman you're about to marry. She atleast deserves a chance to find someone who truely does love her. And about your ex. If you do love her and want her back, then suck it up and apologize. Again, give her the decency to make her own decisions on if she wants you back or not.
quankanne Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 either call off the wedding or postpone it -- no one deserves to be stuck in a marriage with someone who doesn't want to be there. The money you put down on deposits can be replaced -- a broken heart can't.
Circles Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 How long have you and your ex-wife been divorced? Did you have enough time alone before getting involved with this new person?
Tony Posted June 9, 2005 Senior Moderators Posted June 9, 2005 NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER marry somebody you aren't crazy about and in love with. Just don't do it. What's going on in your head? What makes you think you've got to get married at all right now? YUK!
newbby Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 whether you left your wife or not is not your fiances fault, whatever the circumstance. why should she suffer for your mistake too? also if you managed to leave a wife you did love then this is the most pointless marriage there ever was. another thing, you refuse to tell anyone how you really feel because of pride???? the longer it goes on, the more you are going to have to swallow do you see this??
jj003 Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 If you love your ex, you should try your best to tell her and see if you can work things out with her....hate to see you live to regret your decision!!
Haunani Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 For someone who married for sheer convenience.........stuck still after 23 years, just don't do it. I think daily of how it would be to get out......how to do it, when to do it, and why I did it in the first place. Of course over the years we've become friends, not great friends, but in his mind, he loves me more than anything and I live with guilt daily that I can't share that with him. Take down that protective wall surrounding your pride and let her know how you feel. Is there even a chance there now that you've left? If there is..persue it, if not, forget it, but doesn't mean you need to get married, though I understand most men do love the convenience marriage brings. They love the term "marriage" but don't do it to satisfy your ego. Keep on lookin'............good luck!
MsMree Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 in matters of love - so if it is ONLY your pride keeping you from tell'g your xW that you still love her or that your soon to be W that you do not love her, what are the consequences? Pride and regret will go hand in hand.
whichwayisup Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 DO NOT EVER SETTLE for somebody you're not inlove with. End it and walk away. Doing this now will prevent some really bad pain for this woman and for yourself. You are going to break her heart either way so it might as well be NOW and not 10 years down the road. Do not stay with somebody just so you won't be alone! I'm sure you care deeply about this woman and do love her but she isn't really in your heart. Listen to us all here and end it.
blackchild Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 DUDE IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT THE ANSWER TO THAT IS! **** YOUR EGO AND GO BACK TO YOUR EX WIFE! SHE PROBABLY FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU AND IS UPSET OVER THE THOUGHT OF YOU REMARRYING SOMEONE ELSE! I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS SO KEEP US POSTED ON HOW THINGS WORKED OUT!
reservoirdog1 Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Pete, there's all kinds of reasons for not marrying the woman you don't love that are related to not hurting her, having respect for her, etc. Those are all good reasons. But think about what this will do TO YOU. Living with somebody is one thing. Marrying them is totally different. You go ahead with it, stick it out for a few years, realize you're miserable and want out... and by that time you have a kid or two, joint assets, and a huge legal mess. To say nothing of the fact that you'll likely be taking your existing disatisfaction and unhappiness with your relationship and etching it in stone. Don't do that to yourself. It's never too late to get out, even right up to the day of the wedding. Yes, your fiancee will be disappointed and hurt. But you won't have done anything morally wrong. Better than condemning yourself to a lifetime (or at least a few years) of misery. Just ask my XW. One thing you didn't mention -- why are you contemplating marrying the woman you don't love? Is it out of a sense of obligation? Good sex? Financial reasons? Don't want to be lonely? Think about those reasons and weigh them against the fact that you don't love her -- is it really worth it?
westernxer Posted June 10, 2005 Posted June 10, 2005 Originally posted by newbby yeah why do men love the term "married"? Same reasons women hate the word "single." And, dude, don't marry her.
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