kokawaiii Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Ok, I've been dating this girl for 8 months now. I love her, always did. But there's one problem that has been growing ever since we started dating. I'm 24 and she's 19. I was thinking that maybe due to our difference in age, she cannot be as free. And by that, I mean she can't go out late, no sleep over, no clubbing etc... Her parents are very strict. They're pretty much the typical asian parent... And because of that, she won't even tell them about our relatioship. My girlfriend did tell me about that problem ever since we started dating. It was a shock to me at first, because she's not all that young anymore, but I have learned to accept that fact knowing how much I love her. As time goes by, we managed to get together as much as we can. All was fine, up until now... Summer is here, school's over and having fun is what we should be having (at least imo) I'm getting angry because all my friends now ask me to come with them to a camping trip, night out drinking and whatnot, so it's only natural for me wanting my girl along by my side. We got into a fight and I told her that it's time to stand up against her parents. What kind of parents that won't let their child enjoy their youth? I'm so angry, almost to the point of breaking up with her. You might say, "comon! you must not really love her to break up that easily" Well to that, I will say "Try it and see how hard" Anyway, I just want to know if I'm overreacting. Am I being selfish? What can I possibly do to fix this problem. I'm willing to talk to her parents myself, though that might worsen the problem... pls someone
Marshbear Posted June 9, 2005 Posted June 9, 2005 Are you being selfish? Yes. You knew the situation between her parents and her and you thought of your own interests and not her's or her parents. I would say that if you push her she will drop you. I realize it's hard but you have to respect her and her parents if you want to be with her. Choice is yours.
mental_traveller Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Of course you're being selfish, but what's wrong with that? You enter relationships for your own benefit, not as a charitable cause. If you want to do things and she won't because she doesn't have the guts to tell her parents to take a hike, then you have a problem of mismatched values/interests. You choice is to either suck it up and have a flawed and unsatisfying relationship, or give her an ultimatum to change, and then leave and find someone more suitable if she doesn't.
Mr Spock Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Welcome to completely different cultures. If she won't even tell them she's dating you you're S.O.L. Chances are your relationship is doomed. Might as well break it off now and find someone you can actually date, and let her muddle through her familial issues.
moimeme Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 This is about very different cultures. If you want to continue dating this girl, you'd have to get used to her ties to her family and her likely putting them first because that is very much part of many Asian cultures. If you can't hack this, then move on and leave her to someone who'll take her as she is.
Mr Spock Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 She won't even tell them about him, which means the parents are not likely to ever accept him. Move on.....
alphamale Posted June 11, 2005 Posted June 11, 2005 Originally posted by kokawaiii What kind of parents that won't let their child enjoy their youth? good ones...the problem today is many parents don't give a flying f*ck about their kids. at least her parents are setting rules and boundaries which most 19 yr olds today do not have. And by the way, KOKAWAII, both of you are still kids and know very little about life and the way of the world. If you can't deal with her situation then find another girl who can do whatever the f*** she wants to.
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