Stapleton Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 My boyfriend is in a powerful position at work. Recently they merged two companies together. A woman that now works with him has been texting him sex cartoons. The first one showed three nurses and talked about them having sex with a corpse, the second about waterboarding a mans ball sack. After recieving these he replied "funny". Then he proceeded to send her one that said "it's smack a dumb coworker day" and she responded "your first in line". The second to last cartoon said something about anal sex wasn't a loophole to virginity, to which my boyfriend responded "yeah but it feels good" then she said "LMAO didn't know you were the ****ty dick type" The last cartoon she sent said "every lady knows that man that thinks he's gods gift to women, but when he comes near you your clit climbs inside your womb" WTH? Anyhow he did not respond at all after that until the next week. He sent her at text that said "GET YOUR ASS TO WORK" She obvioulsy has some motive.. I am assuming it is to be with him. I am not so much mad at him (kinda for even responding to her). Mostly I want to stop her. She also requested his freindship on facebook, so they are now "friends". We have been together three years and live together, i'm madly in love and he treats me like a queen. Texts me many times through the day, sometimes all day long telling me he loves me and our weekends together are always perfect. I don't think he is interested in her, he's just stupid. But I still need advice on how to go forward. BTW he doesn't know I saw any of this and I'm not about to let him know.
WaitingForBardot Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I wouldn't be worried about her motives in this situation. 2
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is all your perspective and not theirs. Just because they are dirty jokes doesn't mean she is trying to get into his pants. She is acting like one of the guys, that's why he isn't too concerned about it. BTW why are you snooping through your hubby's phone? IMO people who poke thought their SO emails,and text messages is insecure and creates their own paranoia. 5
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Tell him that if he carries on flirting sexually with his co-workers he will find himself single quicker than he can say "workplace etiquette". 1
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is not even near "sexting" She has guttural humor. What she is going to share this humor with other women??? no only guys get this sh it. 4
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 If it was the opposite, a man sending these dirty sex jokes to a woman, he'd be hit with a sexual harassment charge in a split second. This is highly inappropriate at work, and in your relationship. On top of that he is in a position of authority !! I would not tolerate it. Not that I think they're being sneaky or anything but because it's just an ugly and disrespectful thing to do when someone is in a relationship 2
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is not even near "sexting" She has guttural humor. What she is going to share this humor with other women??? no only guys get this sh it. Then she can share her sense of humour with single men.
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is not even near "sexting" Did you miss the part where he told her that anal feels good? I would not tolerate my partner speaking like that to a co-worker. And if i were to ever do that, I would expect there to be hell to pay when my partner found out. 1
Yookie Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 She is not your problem. You are not in a relationship with her. 1
Zahara Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Mostly I want to stop her. I think you should take it up with your boyfriend. She's not your problem.
Author Stapleton Posted February 5, 2016 Author Posted February 5, 2016 I don't feel guilty that I read those messages. He gets on my phone too. We have different carriers and travel a lot. Some times one carrier has better reception. The only person I text sex stuff to is him, so I have nothing to hide. One point you made is she may be trying to be one of the guys. It is 90% males and he runs factories.
Zahara Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I don't feel guilty that I read those messages. He gets on my phone too. BTW he doesn't know I saw any of this and I'm not about to let him know. If you both have an open policy about looking at each other phones, I am not sure why you wouldn't just bring it up with him. It's a simple fix. Instead you want to stop her? 1
WaitingForBardot Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is not even near "sexting" She has guttural humor. What she is going to share this humor with other women??? no only guys get this sh it. I would agree if this was happening in a group setting, like after work over a beer or two with coworkers, but in private conversations not so much.
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This is not even near "sexting" She has guttural humor. What she is going to share this humor with other women??? no only guys get this sh it. Yep. I second this. 1
Author Stapleton Posted February 5, 2016 Author Posted February 5, 2016 If you both have an open policy about looking at each other phones, I am not sure why you wouldn't just bring it up with him. It's a simple fix. Instead you want to stop her? I guess I don't want him to know I read them because I don't want him to block me from his phone.
Lorenza Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Why do women have the tendency to turn their negative feelings and jealousy towards other women and pretend that their men are innocent and fluffy? It's absolutely unappropriate for you to address the issue with that woman - the only one you should solve this is your man. I think both are being a bit unproffesional and your husband should know better and keep some respectful distance if he is an authority figure. Both to men and women at his workplace. Besides, these are not sex texts. "Anal with you would feel good" would be a sex-text. 4
Lorenza Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I guess I don't want him to know I read them because I don't want him to block me from his phone. So you don't have an open phone policy and basically just mistrust each other? 2
Mikau Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Why do women have the tendency to turn their negative feelings and jealousy towards other women and pretend that their men are innocent and fluffy? It's absolutely unappropriate for you to address the issue with that woman - the only one you should solve this is your man. I think both are being a bit unproffesional and your husband should know better and keep some respectful distance if he is an authority figure. Both to men and women at his workplace. Besides, these are not sex texts. "Anal with you would feel good" would be a sex-text. This. This is just workplace humour. As long as both parties know that's all this is I don't see a problem. Maybe I'm biased from working in a restaurant where this is very commonplace and not something more like an office, but innocent flirting and raunchy comments are par for the course here.
loveflower Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 If it was the opposite, a man sending these dirty sex jokes to a woman, he'd be hit with a sexual harassment charge in a split second. This is highly inappropriate at work, and in your relationship. On top of that he is in a position of authority !! I would not tolerate it. Not that I think they're being sneaky or anything but because it's just an ugly and disrespectful thing to do when someone is in a relationship TOTALLY! I would hate to receive those kind of filth even if she were my same sex friend. what kind of twisted soul would send things like that? this woman is so screwed. 1
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 This. This is just workplace humour. As long as both parties know that's all this is I don't see a problem. Maybe I'm biased from working in a restaurant where this is very commonplace and not something more like an office, but innocent flirting and raunchy comments are par for the course here. It's one thing to make general sex joke, in a group, at work. It's a totally different thing for a woman to send graphic sex jokes in private to her boss and on top of that a man in a relationship.
babycrapgreen Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 My boyfriend is in a powerful position at work. Recently they merged two companies together. A woman that now works with him has been texting him sex cartoons. The first one showed three nurses and talked about them having sex with a corpse, the second about waterboarding a mans ball sack. After recieving these he replied "funny". Then he proceeded to send her one that said "it's smack a dumb coworker day" and she responded "your first in line". The second to last cartoon said something about anal sex wasn't a loophole to virginity, to which my boyfriend responded "yeah but it feels good" then she said "LMAO didn't know you were the ****ty dick type" The last cartoon she sent said "every lady knows that man that thinks he's gods gift to women, but when he comes near you your clit climbs inside your womb" WTH? Anyhow he did not respond at all after that until the next week. He sent her at text that said "GET YOUR ASS TO WORK" She obvioulsy has some motive.. I am assuming it is to be with him. I am not so much mad at him (kinda for even responding to her). Mostly I want to stop her. She also requested his freindship on facebook, so they are now "friends". We have been together three years and live together, i'm madly in love and he treats me like a queen. Texts me many times through the day, sometimes all day long telling me he loves me and our weekends together are always perfect. I don't think he is interested in her, he's just stupid. But I still need advice on how to go forward. BTW he doesn't know I saw any of this and I'm not about to let him know. I'm not that type of woman that sends their bosses sexual jokes, even my guy friends don't send me sexually explicit jokes. You should pretend that your phone is out of battery and you need his phone to text someone. But, then, accidentally, stumble upon that text and say, what you just told us.
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 I guess I don't want him to know I read them because I don't want him to block me from his phone. How long have you been dating? Or maybe you live together?
Mikau Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 It's one thing to make general sex joke, in a group, at work. It's a totally different thing for a woman to send graphic sex jokes in private to her boss and on top of that a man in a relationship. I think sending it to your boss is a problem (professionally) and asking for lawsuits, termination, etc. I think OP should just talk to her boyfriend. He might not necessarily see it as a problem (as I wouldn't), but still be more than willing to make it stop if it bothers you (as I would). 1
Author Stapleton Posted February 5, 2016 Author Posted February 5, 2016 How long have you been dating? Or maybe you live together? We have lived together for almost three years now.
babycrapgreen Posted February 5, 2016 Posted February 5, 2016 Hey, if you really want it to stop. Screen shot that stuff and send it to HR. They'll automatically terminate her. The end. LOL.. okay, but, this is my immature side. But, think of my first advice. 1
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