Oh oh, was I really naughty??? Its about the contact thing.

[miss-gonewest]

Ok, I just made contact....! I did all my reading last night on NOT making contact and I did it first thing this morning... am I really naughty?

 

For those that don't know my story, you can get it here --> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t64237/

 

I did have to send him some receipts and instead of sending the email as is, I told him that I would never do anything to hurt him (he was worried about me using his cc details) and that I have no desire to be vindictive. I also told him that I'd like to send an email apologising for a few things I said, but that he didn't have to read it...

 

Is that really so terrrible? I know it'll hurt if he doesn't reply, but I'm hurting now, so what's the difference right?

 

Any thoughts....?

[XNemesisX]

That is basically the way that I looked at it when I would contact my ex. I was already miserable and hurting and there wasn't much else he could do to me to make me feel a great deal worse. At least, this was my justification for contacting him.

 

This is the guy that broke up with you by saying "that's it, it's over" right??

 

Are you trying to get him back? I mean really trying?

[miss-gonewest]

Yep - I do want him back.... I really do...

 

But as for trying - I don't know how to go about it... I am so confused, some say the NC thing will win them back but I think I should TELL him I want him back.

 

I have no idea what to do

[suegail]

I did read through your other posts and I know you've said you don't feel he's got a problem with alcohol, but I think you may be mistaken. 12 hour drinking binges mixed with drug use. The reasons you cite for not believing he's got a problem are that he's young and that he keeps a job. The truth is age is not a factor and many stone alcoholics manage to hang on to a job.

 

I'm only bringing this up because if he does have a problem with alcohol/drugs or both he will not be capable of carrying on any kind of normal relationship. This will be a miserable existence for you if you do get back together, because look at what you've said here, how you've described it, you got along fine until he got enough alcohol in his system apparently and he changed, he turned ugly. Some people are happy-go-lucky drunks and some turn into Godzilla or Joseph Mengela or just plain sullen and nasty.

 

This is not the life you'll want to live, I sincerely hope. It's a long, hard road full of heartbreak. I just hope you'll consider what I'm saying before you decide to get involved with him again.

[Jadey]

Well, I tell you something i feel better not contacting my ex. I want him back very much and i am still in love with him very much, BUT i refuse to run after him anymore, i refuse toleve him with the impression he can do anything hr wants and ill always be here waiting for him and give him what he wnats at the click of a finger.Thats why im doing NC. He knows where to get me if he needs me.I feel abit better since doing NC..

 

I guess its up to you if you do NC or not, but i have to say 9/10 people feel alot better doing NC instead of having the reminderof their ex everytime they talk. Cos that is what i look at it as now, every time you talk its a kick in the stomache and a remider that your ex exsists and idsntin your life

[Jadey]

Plus my pride has suddenly awoken from the past now,THANK GOD! lol